Catching Feelings
by Just Dyana
Summary: Drabbles on the character's emotions throughout the story. Mostly Inukag, some Mirsan, SessKagu and KogAya. Forty: What You Can Do. Kagome has never told Inuyasha about what Mukotsu tried to do to her. One day though, after Inuyasha has beaten up two guys who were talking about her, it seems to just... slip out. Warning for mentions of sexual assault.
1. Pain

Manga chapter 157 (after Goshinki's appearance, while Inuyasha is with Tôtôsai, repairing the Tetsusaiga)

Summary: Kagome voices some feelings she tried to keep buried.

Words count: 920

Please note that this is based on the manga's events rather than the anime's, although they're pretty similar in the end.

* * *

Pain

"Sango?"

The demon slayer's eyes opened immediately and she jerked up, prepared to handle whatever was happening.

Albeit, she had been expecting a demon attack more than Kagome's tearful's eyes. The schoolgirl jumped a little at her reaction.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," she apologized. "I didn't know if you were awake, and…"

"It's okay," Sango answered calmly. "I'm a light sleeper. Is there something wrong, Kagome?"

Her voice was filled with concern, and when the other girl's shoulders drooped and she started looking down to the ground, she couldn't help but worry.

"Come on, sit down," she offered, patting she spot next to her. Kagome nodded and complied. Sango smiled and gently wrapped her arm around her friend, like she had done so often for Kohaku. She may not have known Kagome for as long, but she already cared about her deeply — perhaps not as a sister, not yet, but at the very least as a dear friend.

"What's going on, Kagome?" she asked, her voice soothing.

There was a silence, as Kagome debated within herself, and she finally took a shaky breath before answering, her voice low.

"It's Kikyô."

Sango held back a smile. It almost made her happy that, with everything they were going through, Kagome managed to have something as… simple as jealousy. She was in quite a similar situation with Miroku, but as much as she complained about it, she actually enjoyed being able to live something as _normal_ as that.

"You're worried about Inuyasha, aren't you? Really, Kagome, you…"

"That's not it."

Sango tilted her head with confusion, and Kagome wrapped her arms around her knees, seemingly trying to look even smaller than she already was. Probably because right now, she felt ridiculously small and pathetic.

"She tried to kill me."

It wasn't more than a whisper and Sang actually had to lean towards her to understand what she was saying. She froze when she managed to make sense out of the words Kagome had uttered.

"I-I mean, she, erm, she'd have let us all to die, I think, but she… She saved me, and then she took the Jewel from me, and then…"

"She tried to kill you," Sango repeated. "Kagome, are you _sure_? I don't know much about Kikyô, but she seemed like a good person as long as it wasn't related to Inuyasha…"

Kagome's arms tightened around her knees and she buried her face against it.

"Her soul collectors were holding me above the pit Naraku had created, and then they dropped me. And she said… That I was her and that it was better if there was only one in the world."

She could almost hear Kikyô's words replaying in her mind.

"She told Inuyasha that she had taken the Jewel from me because it made me a target and I… I didn't tell Inuyasha."

There was a silence before she admitted, her voice even lower "I didn't think he would believe me."

Things slowly started to make sense in Sango's mind. And of course, now that it was made clear that Kikyô had given the Jewel to Naraku and that _Inuyasha_ had almost died because of it, the memories were much more vivid. But that wasn't it, was it?

"And now, Inuyasha's defending her," Sango added slowly. "Even though he nearly died."

She didn't add 'because she handed the Jewel to Naraku'. It wasn't needed at that point. A sob escaped from Kagome, surprising Sango. Kagome didn't deal with things through sadness, she dealt with them through anger. She had only seen her cry for Inuyasha, and usually it was from relief that he was alright.

"Inuyasha is in love with the woman who tried to kill me."

Sango wrapped her other arm around Kagome, bringing her into a tight hug. She didn't move as Kagome's shoulders started to shake, nor as her tears started to wet the fabric of her clothes. She simply held her against her.

She couldn't name the feelings that rushed through her. Part of it was anger, but she couldn't really blame Inuyasha, no matter how much she would have loved to, especially if he didn't know, although she could understand Kagome's decision — she herself couldn't tell what Inuyasha would have done, given how much he had defended Kikyô recently. Part of it was just pain, just empathy for what Kagome was going through, and she knew that this was why she _wanted_ to be mad at Inuyasha, so that she would have a way to make her friend feel better.

"It's going to be okay," she whispered to her friend's ear, as she waited for her to calm down.

"What's going on?" Shippo's small voice asked. "Why's Kagome crying?"

Kagome gave Sango a horrified glance, before turning towards him, quickly wiping her tears and flashing him a smile.

"I'm just missing my mom, Shippo, don't worry."

Next thing she knew, the kid had thrown himself in her arms, probably trying to comfort her, which elicited a chuckle from the girl as she lovingly hugged him against her.

Soon, Miroku was awake too, and, in the middle of the night, their little campfire suddenly felt very alive, taking away the thoughts that had been plaguing Kagome's mind. She still didn't exactly feel good about it all, but letting it bring her down wasn't the solution.

She took a deep breath, listening to Sango and Miroku's bickering.

Sango was right.

Maybe she was hurting now, but it was going to be okay.


	2. Loss

Sort of an alternative ending for the manga.

Summary: Kagome is leaving the Feudal Era for the last time.

Word count: 1,518

* * *

Loss

"So this is goodbye, then," Kagome said with a smile.

Her group of friends was standing in front of the well, all looking at her sadly, and all too aware of how fake her attitude was. But it was just like Kagome to stay strong until the end.

Shippo, on the other end, was sobbing hopelessly, and the school-girl bent down to pick him up and hugged him close.

"Now now," she whispered, "it's going to be okay."

"But Kagome," the kitsune cried, hugging her as tightly as he could, "why do you have to leave? You c-c-could stay here! Or you c-c-could come back, couldn't you?"

It honestly broke her heart to see him in this state, but a glance at Inuyasha was enough to make her decision. She had to bite her lower lip harshly to keep it from trembling. She had promised herself that she wouldn't cry in front of them.

Of course she had thought of staying, if it had meant she could be with Inuyasha, but… But the conversation she had had a few nights before with the silver-haired boy had made her understand a few things. Things that she couldn't afford to dwell on right now, if she didn't want to break down.

She couldn't. She couldn't break down.

"I have to go back to my world, Shippo," she told him gently, petting his head. "And I could come back but… But over there it's _my_ world, you know?"

Tears sprung to her eyes. She somehow felt like Wendy in Peter Pan, when she discovers that she has to grow up. Boy, would she have loved to grow up here, if Inuyasha had wanted her to!

She froze at the thought. Not now Kagome. When you'll be on the other side.

She almost shoved Shippo in Sango's arms, before proceeding to hug her, nearly crushing the small fox-demon between them. He was crying too much to complain about it, though, and even Miroku couldn't bring himself to make a perverted joke right now.

Kagome noticed the tears on Sango's cheeks, and Sango let a small laugh escape her lips as an apology.

"I'm going to miss you, Kagome," she said.

"I'll miss you too, Sango," she answered, feeling her smile getting harder and harder to maintain.

Saying goodbye to your best friend was never fun, every child knows that. Saying goodbye for forever was…

 _Forever_.

She was never coming back. She would never see Shippo again. She would never hold him against her as she tried to fall asleep. She would never gossip with Sango. She wouldn't get to see her marry Miroku. She wouldn't meet their children.

 _Focus, Kagome, focus!_

She turned to Miroku and threw her arms around him, attempting to hide her face in the movement. The monk chuckled slowly as he wrapped his arms around her. He was probably the one who understood her definitive departure the best. As much as Kagome and Sango talked, he was possibly the most intuitive one in the group, particularly when it came to love.

 _Oh, Kagome…_

The girl was the bravest person he knew, and that meant a lot, considering the woman he was going to marry or the half-demon with whom he had fought alongside. These ones were incredible on the battlefield and completely trustworthy, but when it came down to the heart, no one equalled Kagome. No one ever had. He had thought that when she had decided to stay with them despite Inuyasha's choice, a long, long time ago.

And now… Now he admired her even more, if that was possible.

"Take care of yourself, Kagome," he said with his usual composed voice.

"I will, Miroku," she chirped lightly, appreciating his calmness. She really didn't this to be made harder on herself.

Especially with what had yet to be done.

She took a deep breath. She would have loved for that moment to be delayed, she would have gladly taken any thing as long as it meant she had more time. A demon attacking them? Please, make it quick. Naraku coming back from the dead with an army? Gosh, yes!

But there was nothing, except for her standing in front of Inuyasha.

"Well," she said.

"Aren't you going to hurry, wench?" Inuyasha asked with his usual scowl, but even with him, she could feel the sadness underneath his harsh tone.

Just because he didn't love her didn't mean he didn't care for her.

God.

He didn't.

He really didn't.

He didn't love her.

He didn't love her.

He didn't love her.

She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. She wished she never would have to let go. She inhaled deeply. She didn't have a nose as good as he did, but she wanted to remember this aroma for the rest of her life. She wanted this moment to be engraved in her mind forever, even when she would doubt all of this had ever happened.

Inuyasha hugged her in return, with slightly more strength than was needed. Kagome was his best friend, like a sister to him, and he would miss her. He would miss her enormously.

Just… Just not in the way she would miss him.

Just like he didn't love her in the way she loved him.

Kagome ripped herself away from him, and he let her go, smelling the salt of her tears. He felt a lock of her hair escaping his fingers.

She jumped into the well without looking back, even as Shippo called out her name one last time.

And just like that, she was gone.

"It's all your fault, Inuyasha," Shippo sobbed, desperately trying to blame that on someone.

"Nah, not this time," Inuyasha answered, surprisingly seriously, instead of getting angry like he usually did. "Kagome said she needed to let go of this world."

Yes, and she had made damn sure that he would believe it.

* * *

Kagome somehow managed to climb out of the well and immediately collapsed against the wood. She was crying. She wished that no one would come in right now to see her like that. Behind her, she could tell, she could _feel_ the well closing for what she assumed would be forever. She had known, somehow, before jumping in, but even if that hadn't been the case, this would have been her final goodbyes.

It was true, that she needed to let go of that time, otherwise she would never be able to move on with her life, but truth be told, she would have gladly abandoned her life.

What she really needed to let go of was Inuyasha.

Inuyasha.

Inuyasha!

A loud whimper escaped her, and as comforting as she knew her mother would have been, she didn't wish for her to be there. She needed some time alone right now. She hadn't had any, since _the_ conversation with Inuyasha.

The boy probably didn't realize what it meant to her, when he had told her that Kikyô would always be his one and only, when he had told her he thought he would never love again.

She hoped he was wrong. For his own happiness, she hoped he would love again. But she understood it meant it wouldn't be her.

She distinctively felt her heart shattering in her chest as she listened to the half-demon's confession. She couldn't show it, she realized. If she did, Inuyasha might suspect something, and she didn't want him to feel guilty. So she had spent _days_ after Naraku's defeat concealing her feelings. Letting them out now felt devastating.

Her chest ached so much. She pressed her hands tight against it, not really understanding how she could be in so much physical pain right now, but not really caring either, at that point. She wanted it to stop, she just wanted to stop hurting!

But that's not how pain nor love work, and she knew it. "Time heals all wounds," they said, but Kagome didn't think that one would ever close completely. She hadn't just left the man she loved behind, she had left a _life_. A _world_. One she would never get back.

It had been her parting gift to Inuyasha, not to let him know. To pretend that she was fine and that really, this was her decision. Well, it was, somehow.

At some point, an annoying voice in her mind had told her that Inuyasha wouldn't care, even if he knew. He didn't love her, after all. Why would he feel guilty?

That wasn't true, though. Inuyasha had protected her with his life. He cared for her. He did, and she refused to insult him by thinking otherwise. He just didn't love her back. It happened.

As she cried on the ground, her back against the now closed door to another world, the girl who overcame time was well aware of the fact that she would fall in love again, and eventually move on from this missed love story, but knowing that doesn't change anything, does it?

Big girls cried when their heart was breaking.

* * *

 _This is not at all my view of Inuyasha's feelings. I'll probably write about those at some point. This is more of a 'What if'. Because sometimes, love just doesn't work out like you'd want it to._


	3. Mourning

Nowhere in particular in the manga

Summary: Something terrible just happened. Something that cannot be undone... Or can it?

Word count: 1,129

* * *

Mourning

Kagome is dead.

Inuyasha doesn't know how many times he has repeated the words in his mind. Now they seem like random syllables someone decided to put next to each other for some reason and they don't make any sense. Not that they did to begin with.

Kagome is dead.

Inuyasha doesn't know when nor how Miroku and Sango convinced him to let go of her limp body. He doesn't know if he was crying, he doesn't know if he is now. He feels numb.

He's pretty sure he is the one who dug her grave, though his memories are completely blurred. In fact, anything after that moment when one of Naraku's incarnation smashed her against a wall is a blur. He killed it, that he knows, and then he rushed to her side and she wasn't breathing and he didn't understand why and he shook her and she wasn't responding and she wasn't breathing and he didn't understand.

Kagome is dead, and it's killing him.

He doesn't know how long it's been. Maybe it's minutes, maybe it's days. He doesn't know. He doesn't want to know, because the thought that she may have been dead for _days_ would force him to realize that death is a permanent state. That there will be a time when they will say 'Kagome died a year ago'. But he doesn't want her to have died a year ago, he wants her to be alive.

He wants death to be a temporary thing, but it isn't, and he knows it all too well.

He wonders when he will start to forget her face and the thought makes him want to throw up. He remembers his mother well enough, but he knows that her traits aren't as well-defined as they used to be. Is there going to be a time when he simply won't be able to picture her face in his mind?

Oh god, she used to smile so much. He would never have admitted it, but he loved her smile. Maybe he loved her smile more than anything in the world. Or maybe it was her laugh, he isn't sure if he can pick.

He's on her grave, looking at the stele. It's just a stupid rock, because they couldn't find anything better, but he carved her name on it.

He hears Miroku's voice, and he knows he's wasting precious time. He suspects Miroku is doing his best to hide how he really feels, as he is the only one in the group who hasn't completely lost it. Sango is huddled up against Kirara's side and she's crying. She's not making a noise. She has already lost so many people in her life, but Kagome's death is still getting to her. She feels like she just lost a sister.

Shippo is wailing. He was crying and screaming in the beginning, but he gradually lost his voice, and now this is all he can do. His throat hurts. Shippo… Shippo feels like he lost one of his parents. Again.

Miroku is insisting that they need to go. He knows that they would all want to stay here, but he doesn't think it would be a good decision. Still, none of them are moving, and he feels like giving up. He thinks leaving is the best thing to do. Kagome wouldn't want to them to stay here crying. She was the one who wanted Inuyasha to be happy the most.

Kagome is dead, and Inuyasha doesn't think he will ever be happy again.

He stares at the stele. He feels like smashing it, like destroying any evidence of Kagome's death. If there isn't any proof she's dead, maybe she won't be, right? Maybe he'll be able to pretend that she went back to her era, that she got tired of him and that she decided she would never come back. It would hurt like hell, but it would still be better than knowing that she isn't anywhere. That there is no place, in this world or in the other, where there is still a Kagome. A Kagome complaining, smiling, laughing.

But of course, Inuyasha doesn't move. He would never disrespect her like that.

He remembers the time when she told him that she couldn't compete with Kikyô, 'because she was alive'. Because, unlike Kikyô, she hadn't died for him.

Now, the two woman he loved did, though one was still walking this earth. Kikyô, by choosing to follow him in death, and Kagome, by standing in front of a demon to protect the group, noticing too late that she had run out of arrows. He's almost glad he could only see her back when that happened. He knows the vision would have tortured him for the rest of his life.

He feels guilty for not having been able to protect her. He feels guilty for never telling her he would, too, just so she would know. That would have made him a liar, but he doesn't care.

Kagome is dead, and he doesn't care about anything anymore.

A hand touches his shoulder. He doesn't turn around to see to whom it belongs. That is among the things he doesn't care about.

"Inuyasha."

The voice manages to make him turn. It's Kikyô. Her voice is as emotionless as it always is. When he looks at her, he only sees Kagome. But it's not her.

"We have to leave, Inuyasha. Naraku knows we are here."

He stands up and grabs Shippo. The kid struggles, kicks, holding his arms out towards Kagome's grave. Inuyasha doesn't let go.

Miroku helps Sango to stand up. He doesn't try to take advantage of the moment. Even his morality wouldn't allow that, but he doesn't even think of it. His emotions aren't visible, they aren't obvious on his face, but Kagome's death is getting to him too.

Sango knows it. She climbs on Kirara and gestures for him to follow her. When he does, instead of letting him grab onto his staff like he usually does, she grabs his hands and he holds her tight, resting his head on her shoulder. He doesn't say anything, but he's thankful.

Inuyasha follows Kikyô, and the rest of the group follows him, except for Shippo, but even the kid stopped resisting. He's just crying now.

Kikyô and Miroku are right. They have to go. They can't stay here. They have to keep going because… Because…

Kagome is dead, and Inuyasha doesn't know _why_ he has to keep doing.

He doesn't know why he does.

It's only when the group isn't visible anymore that a tall man comes out of the forest in which he was. He walks towards the tomb and stares at it for a few seconds.

Then, Sesshomaru draws the Tenseiga.

* * *

 _A part 2 should arrive soon (and maybe a third one, I haven't decided yet)_

 _Sorry I've been writing such sad things recently — I cried writing that one. I'll try to do more fun stuff (she says when she just had another really angsty idea)._


	4. Resurrection

Following the chapter 'Mourning'

Word count: 1,549

* * *

Resurrection

When Kagome opened her eyes, she felt like she was breathing for the very first time and, like a new-born, she started to weep. She didn't understand why at first, as, without even looking at her surroundings, she rolled to her side, pressing her hands against her chest and cried out. She was in pain, but that wasn't the only reason why there were tears rolling on her cheeks. There was… There was something else. Something her mind, too clouded by sensations that should have been familiar, didn't manage to identify.

Slowly, she propped herself on her elbows, and her eyes fell on a stone, causing her to gasp.

It was gravestone, against which a bow was leant.

Her gravestone. Her bow.

Oh God, was she…? She managed to slowly stand up, both of her hands grabbing the stone like her life depended on it.

Sesshomaru watched the pathetic human with growing annoyance. First, she had cried, which was ridiculous, and then she had gotten up, and now she was sitting on the stone that Inuyasha had gotten for her. How long exactly did she need to get over the fact that she was dead seconds ago? Humans and their pitiful emotions.

Well, at least she seemed to be functioning correctly, which meant his Tenseiga hadn't failed him, and filled him with the satisfaction of knowing he could do things Inuyasha couldn't.

Kagome kept her eyes on the ground. The tears had stopped flowing and she was trying to rearrange her memories. Naraku's incarnation. Rushing in front of it. Being grabbed.

Excruciating pain.

Darkness.

She shuddered, and that was when feet entered her field of vision. She jumped. She meant to stand up, but her legs were still too weak to carry her, so all she did was raise her head. Her eyes met Sesshomaru's, and she voiced his name in confusion.

"Sesshomaru? What… Did you…"

"Naraku's creatures will be here soon," he simply said, before turning around and starting to walk away.

Kagome's mind was spinning. She was trying to get everything to make sense, but things were going too fast. If she had died, and if Sesshomaru was here, then could it be that…?

"You brought me back?" she whispered.

"With you out there, it increases the chances to draw Naraku out," he simply said, not bothering to turn around, nor to stop walking. "Even if it means you'll be captured by his minions and I will follow you."

That did make her gratitude drop. He wasn't going to help her, so it meant she had to get out of there as quickly as possible.

"Thank you!" she still yelled.

Sesshomaru didn't stop. In fact, she thought, he was probably grimacing with disgust at the mere thought of having actually helped a human. Or perhaps even that was too much facial expression for him. He disappeared in the forest, and Kagome stood up, her legs at least supporting her. She reached for her bow and looked for arrows, but couldn't find any. It surprised her. None of her friends would have any use for arrows.

She didn't have any time to think about it, but the thought bothered her.

She started walking towards the forest, quickly forcing herself to run. She was defenseless right now. Sure, she had already managed to charge her bow with energy, but… That had been once, and she had never tried it again. Would she be able to do it again? Probably. Still, that would mean the enemy would have to get awfully close to her, and she wouldn't be able to afford the chance to miss.

She kept running through the trees, not knowing where it was she was going, and finally, her brain started working again. Inuyasha. Sango, Miroku, Shippo, Kirara… Where were they? Were they alright? How long had she been — ah, _gone_? Where did they go? How would she find them again?

She finally allowed herself to stop near a river. She panted, leaning forward, with her hands on her knees. River. Water. If she just followed it, she would be likely find a village, where they would probably be able to direct her towards Kaede's village, and maybe they would have seen her group. Inuyasha thought she was dead, so he would probably go back to her world to… to tell her family. She really needed to stop him before that, she didn't want her mom to panic.

Having set an objective, her spirit was renewed. The water was awfully tempting — she had just been buried, after all, but right now, with no one there to look out for her, she decided it wasn't a good idea.

So she started to walk.

Her mind was full of thoughts of her friends. She was mainly concerned about their safety, and horrified at the thought that Shippo and Inuyasha had to be confronted with loss again. Part of her felt sorry for dying and putting them through that one more time. Of course, she knew Miroku and Sango would be hurt as well, and Sango had also lost so many people, but Kagome had a feeling that Sango would recover. She had Miroku, after all.

Shippo would too, probably. He was still young. But Inuyasha…

 _Inuyasha_!

She walked faster.

* * *

It didn't take her too long to reach a village. At the beginning, she was just walking in the forest, but she soon found herself on a road. Travelling alone in the Feudal Era was not something she had experienced before, and she wasn't enjoying it. She knew there were bandits around back then, and if she encountered any, there wouldn't be anything she would be able to do.

She was terribly thankful when she finally entered a village without encountering any problem, but that relief didn't last long. She had walked in the wrong direction, wasting precious time. It was late, however, and the villagers insisted for her to stay here. The local priestess gave her a few arrows, with which she helped the old woman defeat a powerful demon. It wasn't a complicated task, but performing it without Inuyasha around felt strange.

She left early in the morning the next day, travelling on a merchant's cart. She was here to protect him from demons. Nothing happened, actually, but she was starting to understand that the simple fact that she was here probably made him feel reassured. Just like the fact he was there made her feel better, simply because at least, she was not alone.

Two days passed before she heard about Inuyasha's group again. Her and the merchant had stopped in the village where they would be parting ways, when she asked a priest about it.

"Would you have happened to see a group with a white-haired half-demon, a monk, and…?"

"A slayer, a tanuki and a priestess? They did pass by, actually. That monk helped exorcising one of our houses — although I had never felt any evil there…"

Kagome didn't smile at the mention of Miroku's antics, nor did she try to correct Shippo's description. She felt an icy feeling pour into her entire body, coming from her heart.

"A priestess, you said?" she repeated, feeling a lump form in her throat.

"Yes, a beautiful one, if I do say so myself," the priest said, chuckling lightly. "You look a bit like her, actually," he added after a bit of thought.

Kagome smiled weakly and whispered a thank you. Once more, she felt uneasy, and even more when she remembered her arrows not being on her grave, but she shut all of her concerns down. She couldn't do that, not now.

"And when did you…?"

"They left just this morning, actually, you barely missed them," the old man answered.

Kagome's heart missed a beat. That meant they were going very slowly. It made sense, though, if Kikyô was with them. She probably didn't want to draw attention to her with her Souls Collectors, after all.

"Did you pay attention to where they were going? Is there any way for me to be faster than them?"

"Well," the priest said slowly, "if you got on a boat, given the road they took, you would probably get to the next town before them."

Kagome was already standing.

"Can you think of anyone who'll take me?"

"Right now?"

She nodded.

"Right now."

* * *

It was the morning when the priest himself dropped Kagome off at the entrance of the next town. She apologized profusely for bothering him, and thanked him twice as much, but the man seemed truly happy to have helped her, and it made a warm feeling bloom in her chest. They kept fighting such ugly, terrible things, but just as often, she was reminded of how good the world actually was.

She waved to him as he calmly pushed his boat the other way.

She sat down against a stone, watching the road. There were not many people out there, so she didn't have to worry too much about missing them, but she was still very attentive.

Finally, it happened.

Strangely enough, Miroku was the first person she saw, which wasn't normal. Inuyasha normally lead the way. Sango was right beside him, with Shippo in her arms.

Behind them, finally, was Inuyasha.

And Kikyô.

* * *

 _There will be a third and (probably) final part to this story._


	5. Reunion

Following the chapter 'Resurrection'

Word count: 1,597

* * *

Reunion

Inuyasha walked with his head down. The presence of Kikyo, who always stood next to him, perfectly silent, whenever the group was moving, didn't really help soothing his pain. Quite the contrary, actually. With her smell, it was impossible for him to forget that she was dead, and as long as she was physically there, with him, he just couldn't forget her. How could he properly mourn Kagome with her by his side? He was overcome with guilt, grief, and pain. It was so strong that he didn't know how he even managed to breathe.

They were approaching a town, which normally would have annoyed him because it would mean that Miroku would flirt with women, which would rile Sango up, or that the monk would do a fake exorcism, and in general he would get odd looks from most people. With Kagome by his side, he could handle that, because she always made him feel normal. It wasn't really Kikyo's fault if he was so self-conscious when she was there, but he still couldn't help it.

Of course, there was Kagome's smell… It could make all the others go away, even if just a bit, and towns _stank_. Now, instead of getting annoyed and walking imperceptibly closer to her, one question danced in his mind, the same since her death: what was he doing this all for?

His nose caught a faint scent which he thought he recognized, which he thought he would have identified among a million other persons, but… But it was stupid. It was impossible. It had to be his mind playing tricks with him. Or maybe Naraku had recreated her scent, or, or something! He couldn't bring himself to hope, he couldn't allow himself to do so. He knew it was a bad idea. And yet, he looked up. And yet, the second he saw her, he jumped forwards, ignoring all of the group's calls, including Kikyo's.

He didn't recall ever going that fast. In three or four powerful leaps, he landed it front of her. She seemed surprised by how quick he'd been, but she didn't move. Her eyes filled with tears and she threw her arms around him.

"Inuyasha!"

He could smell tears, and even if he hated it when Kagome cried, it didn't matter right now. All he could do was bury his face in her hair, taking in as much of her smell as he possibly could. Maybe this was one of Naraku's tricks — hell, maybe Naraku had brought her back to life using a Jewel shard — but he didn't care. He just… He just didn't want her to be taken away again. Ever again.

Shippo, Sango and Mirou joined them, running, and Inuyasha reluctantly stepped away when the fox jumped into her arms crying. He was actually wondering why _he_ wasn't crying. He had cried when he had thought her dead once, hadn't he?

His eyes drifted towards Kikyo, who was staring at the scene, expressionless. Without as much as a glance in his direction, she walked towards the trees. A second later, she was gone. Part of him wanted to run after her, but he had nothing to tell her right now. Even thanking her for having been there wasn't what he wanted.

"Inuyasha…"

He turned towards Kagome.

"If-If you want to…" She seemed to struggle to say each word. Truth was, right now, she wanted him to stay with her. After she had died, after several days without seeing him, she wanted him there. But, she wanted him to decide to stay with her, and most importantly, she wanted him not to hurt.

Inuyasha didn't move.

* * *

"But, _how,_ Kagome?"

After the first effusions, the group sat down under a bridge, at the entrance of the city. Shippo had apparently decided that he would become an autonomous extension to Kagome's body and never let go of her. Sango, who had asked the question, was slightly less emotional, although she didn't seem to want to let Kagome get too far either. Even Miroku had hugged her in a completely non-sexual way.

Inuyasha, however, was sitting a little further. That was what he always did, Kagome assumed, watching them, holding Tetsusaiga, but she could tell that his body was completely tense. He seemed on edge, and she had no doubt that, should a bird sing too loudly, he would tear it to shreds. Since he had hugged her, when he had seen her, he hadn't talked to her nor made a move towards her. She assumed he would talk to her, later. She knew how difficult emotions were on Inuyasha.

"Well, apparently Sesshomaru brought me back to life."

Everyone heard Inuyasha scoff and Kagome glanced in his direction.

"He did say that it was only to have better chances to lure Naraku out, though," she added.

"But doesn't he need to feel compassion to be able to use the Tenseiga?" Shippo asked, frowning.

"I think he does," Kagome chuckled, "but I'm pretty sure he would have killed me again if I had brought that…"

"Don't say that!" Inuyasha violently snapped, suddenly standing up, his fist clenched tightly around his sword.

Everyone's eyes darted in his direction.

"Say what, Inuyash—?"

"That he would have killed you — again! Don't, don't ever say that!"

Kagome's eyes softened. Gently, she detached Shippo from her arms, and he seemed to quickly find himself in Sango's. She gave Sango and Miroku a significant look, and it didn't take long before the monk announced he would go look for a house to stay in for the night. Sango immediately said that she would follow him to make sure he would behave. For good measure, they took Shippo and Kirara with them.

It wasn't until they were alone that Kagome finally walked towards Inuyasha. She couldn't see his eyes, but she slowly reached for his hand.

"I'm sorry I scared you," she whispered.

He slipped out of her grip and simply dropped to the ground, still not looking at her. Kagome patiently knelt down in front of him. Part of her kind of wanted to get angry, because, seriously, _she_ was the one who had died, but now was not the time for that. Kikyo's presence probably hadn't helped. At first, when she had seen her, bitter thoughts had crossed her mind, however she thought that it probably hadn't helped Inuyasha with his guilt. She was convinced Kikyo hadn't meant to hurt him, but maybe, just maybe, Kagome couldn't be replaced that easily in Inuyasha's heart.

The thought warmed her slightly.

She gently put her arms around Inuyasha. She couldn't tell if he was crying when he rested his forehead on her shoulder, with a long and trembling expiration. She felt his stiff shoulders relaxing.

"You're here," he murmured quietly.

"I'm here," she repeated. "I'm not going away."

He finally let go of the Tetsusaiga, and the sword fell in the grass. He carefully put his arms around her, and without a warning, he made her lose her balance, bringing her into his lap. She let out a small yelp, but didn't really protest as he put his cheek against her forehead.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice still low, his hands trailing on her arms and legs, as if he wanted to make sure she wasn't injured. He knew he would have smelled it, if that had been the case, but he just couldn't help himself.

He froze when Kagome shivered under his touch, immediately retracting his hands, but she grabbed them before he could completely let go of her.

"I'm fine, Inuyasha," she said, placing his hands around her waist again. "What about you?You managed to defeat Naraku's demon, right?"

"Yeah," he answered, and she started to seriously worry. She would have wanted him to brag about it, to say something along the lines of "of course, I'm not like you weak humans". He didn't, but she could understand that. She may have been the one who had died, but it had killed him. It would probably take him some time before he went back to his usual self. She didn't want his behavior with her to change, and she would have to be there for him, to make sure that didn't happen, and that he managed to heal.

"Don't go," he growled.

"I won't."

"Don't leave me again."

This time, Kagome was silent. They would keep living a dangerous life, and they had to take in consideration that maybe it would happen. To her, or to him, for all they knew.

"I will do my best, but, Inuyasha…"

He groaned, and Kagome felt tears filling up in her eyes.

"If that happens…"

He shook his head. He didn't want to hear it, he didn't want to think about that possibility.

"I would still want you to be happy."

He didn't think he would or could ever be happy, if Kagome died. He didn't answer, and she didn't insist. The wound was too fresh to discuss that now. She rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes.

Inuyasha thought that he didn't need more than that. Kagome by his side, and, if possible, in his arms, her scent all around him. Just that was enough for him to be happy, and he had never realized how 'just that' was something that could be taken away from him so easily. He knew that, in the future, that thought would terrify him.

Still, for now, 'just that' was pretty much perfect.

He closed his eyes and held her tighter.

* * *

 _I may write another part to this on the aftermath of that situation, but it's not a priority for now. Also, I realized too late that having Kikyo stay with the group was a mistake so she doesn't do much in the end. Woops._


	6. Departure

Before the beginning of the manga. I recommend listening to George Salazar's 'The Goodbye Song' while reading.

Summary: Izayoi is dying. She wishes she could stay by Inuyasha's side, but she can't. She just hopes her son will be happy.

Word count: 904

* * *

Departure

They had taken her son away, kicking and screaming. Izayoi was pretty sure he hadn't injured anyone with his claws or with his fangs, though, and despite the pain, it made her feel _so_ proud of him. Her Inuyasha wouldn't hurt others, not if he could do otherwise. The love she felt for him, the pride she took in being his mother, those emotions were so powerful that it made her wonder if happiness could make one's heart burst.

She knew, of course, that Inuyasha's life wasn't easy, and that it would never be, especially after her… after her… She knew he couldn't bring himself to say it. He had asked her countless times if she would get better. He had told her 'we'll go to the sea in the summer, right?'. She had seen the fear in his eyes, his beautiful, golden eyes that she loved so much, because they were Toga's, and because thinking that Inuyasha was the product of their love for each other made her happy, but she had been unable to reassure him. She couldn't lie to him.

Izayoi was dying.

Life was slowly leaving her. It had started with a bad cough, during the worst of winter, and she hadn't gotten better ever since.

A new coughing fit shook her entire body, and she heard Inuyasha's scream outside. She didn't want him to be there for her final moments, although he could probably hear and smell everything that was happening inside the room. They wouldn't let him come in anyway. She looked at the priest. Her family probably hoped to at least save her soul.

"My Lady," the man said quietly, "do you repent?"

She smiled. Repent? What for? For falling in love, and for having been loved? For having a son who was her entire life, her world, her sun?

She didn't regret anything.

No, that was a lie.

She did regret dying. She regretted dying so early. She regretted leaving Inuyasha alone. She wished the boy could have known his father, but right now she was the only other person he had in the world, and she regretted taking that away from him.

She had never thought dying could be so awful.

She didn't really care for her own life, she didn't fear what was to come next. Maybe she'd be joined with Toga again — she certainly hoped she would be. The time by his side had been too short.

She just didn't want to leave Inuyasha alone. She wanted to be there to see him growing up. She wanted to be by his side when he would fall in love, because she had no doubt he would. It would be complicated, particularly for a half-demon, but there were kind people in this world, and she was sure Inuyasha would find one. She wanted to meet his wife, to help him raise his children.

Izayoi started crying. She had promised herself she wouldn't, because Inuyasha hated the smell of her tears. She heard his screaming getting louder outside.

It was killing her that she didn't know what would happen to him afterwards. She knew they wouldn't keep him in the castle. She had begged the lord, her very own brother, but he had simply refused. It didn't seem like that big of a deal to him, it was just common sense. She had yelled, she had cried, she had begged, and he had simply sent her out, probably thinking that his dear sister had lost her mind, her soul, to a demon, not understanding in any way her connection to Toga. Not even imagining a human and a demon could fall in love.

Izayoi started to pray. She could tell her last moments were coming. But she would not pray for the salvation of her soul. If what people said were true, it was a long lost cause. No, she prayed for her son. That innocent who had been brought into a hateful world. She didn't think it was a bad thing, not with how much he was loved. She feared he would forget it, though.

' _Please let him be happy. Please let him laugh a lot. Please… Please let him have someone who will always be by his side._ '

As Izayoi took her last breath, she had no way of knowing how complicated it would be for her wish to be fulfilled. How much pain her son would go through for it to be possible. How he would spend fifty years sealed to a tree by the woman he loved. How it would take five hundred years before the right person was born and how many suffering would still ensue after that before, finally, after three agonizingly lonely years, she would be able to stay by his side, forever.

It would have made her happy, though, to know that in the end, her son would agree with her. The happiness was worth the pain.

But Izayoi didn't know, and her death was far from peaceful. She vaguely wondered if it had been as hard for Toga as it was for her. For him not to know what would happen to her, to die after barely seeing his son once.

It's not easy to have to stay and watch someone else dying, but she would never have imagined how hard it was to leave when you don't know what will happen to those you love.


	7. Duty

Summary: Inuyasha struggles with his feelings for Kagome and what he owes to Kikyou. But really, he never feels like he has a choice.

Word count: 344

* * *

Duty

There is what he want, and then there is the right thing to do.

Inuyasha can't think of the situation any other way.

Maybe, had he been raised differently, had his mother been around for a little longer, maybe then, he'd have understood that just because he did something for himself, it didn't mean it was wrong. Maybe, hadn't Kikyou been the first woman he'd ever loved and the first to show him any form of kindness after his mother, he would have been able to tell that what she asked of him wasn't right.

Maybe, hadn't Kagome been trying so much to stay calm about the situation, she would have said something. Maybe had Miroku and Sango known more, hadn't Shippou been a child, maybe someone would have expressed themselves. Maybe then he'd have listened, maybe then he'd have believed them.

Maybe.

But Inuyasha doesn't even consider the possibility that there is more than one way to look at the situation.

Instead, he thinks about what he wants. To be happy, to be, finally, accepted. And if possible, to do all that by Kagome's side. He doesn't word the craziest ideas that go through his mind, thoughts of love, marriage, children. But Kagome makes him happy, she does, and she accepts him, and he wants her in his life for as long as he can.

The right thing to do is not to be by Kagome's side and to be happy though. Kikyou said he was responsible for her death, she said he owed it to her not to be happy, she said he needed to die with her, she said his life was hers.

He doesn't even think about questioning what she'd said.

There is what he wants, but he simply pushes it out of his mind.

Really, there is only the right thing to do.

There is only helping Kikyou.

No matter how much he'd rather do something else, no matter how much he'd give for the situation to be different, things are the way they are.

There is only duty.


	8. Truth

Summary: On a sleepless night, Kagome and Inuyasha have a heart-to-heart conversation, and Kagome tells him about things she had never mentioned before. About Kikyou.

Word count: 2,810

Rated T for Inuyasha's mouth and slightly suggestive ending, but really, nothing too bad.

* * *

Truth

It was the middle of the night, but there was no getting sleep in the small, overheated house. Kagome and Inuyasha just could not help it. The days were too hot, and the nights were pretty much the same. They bathed often, trying to refresh themselves, but it didn't take long before the heat surrounded them again. Even now, they were laying as far from each other as possible, with just Kagome's hand on Inuyasha's arm. He didn't complain about it. Since their separation, he would have endured anything to make sure she was still _there_.

He knew _she_ would have lost it if he had hugged her close like he wanted to, so he didn't, but feeling her against him, knowing that she actually was there, meant more to him than he would ever expect her to understand.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome whispered.

"What?" he grumbled, like her voice wasn't his favorite sound in the world, rivaled only by her laugh.

"Were you actually trying to kill me? When we first met?"

Now what the fuck had brought that up? He rolled to his side to face her and found her staring at him, her big, bright blue eyes focused on his form in the obscurity, just curious. Oh. She wasn't angry.

"You should know by now that if I'd been trying I would have succeeded."

"That's what I was thinking," she immediately replied. "Also, you don't kill humans." There was a silence before she asked. "You didn't, right? I mean, I guess you didn't normally kill humans, but you've been attacked, haven't you?"

Inuyasha sighed and turned around to lay on his back. Not so long ago, he would have refused to answer, and even now, he couldn't say he wanted to talk about it. But Kagome had asked, and he did want to answer her. Even if it was just to be sure he'd keep hearing his voice.

"The first time someone tried to kill me, they were humans," he recalled. He gulped down, almost missing Kagome's small gasp as the long-buried memories came back to his mind. "I was four. It was in the castle where I lived with my mom. I thought they were coming for her." He almost wanted to laugh at how stupid he'd been. His mom was a human, noble woman. Of course they didn't think it was her fault. It had to be that of his demon father and her half-demon son. "There was four men, I think." Silence. "It was the night I discovered the Sankon Tessou."

Kagome nodded, but he wasn't looking at her. One day, or on another sleepless night, maybe he would tell her more about that, however right now, he just couldn't. He remembered discovering the smell of human blood, so strong, so confusing, and yet somewhat _pleasant_ to his demonic instincts. He remembered his mom's screams. He remembered hearing her yelling at her brother, who owned the castle, and he remembered that it was after that that everyone's behavior changed with Izayoi. After that, she had decided whose side she was on, and it wasn't humans.

Maybe if he had just let them, that night, her brother would have made more efforts when she had fallen ill.

He felt Kagome's hands caressing his cheek, her fingers tracing his chin, slowly turning his head towards her. His breath caught in his throat. Maybe it was the memories that made him think, one more time, of how damn _lucky_ he was to have her. Did he deserve her? He had no idea. Probably not, but she'd kick his ass if he ever dared bring that up. He grabbed her hand and pressed a kiss in her palm, then grinned.

"So, what about you? Bet no one tried killing you in the future?"

Kagome couldn't help but smile. She could tell he was trying to lighten the mood, although his attempt was definitely clumsy. She knew him well enough to be completely aware that Inuyasha just wasn't that good at all that stuff — conversation, small talk, _people_ — and decided to humor him.

"Nah," she admitted, "that never happened. Mom would probably say that _I_ was very jealous of Souta and that I would have wanted to get rid of him, but that would be a _total lie_. I loved him. Most of the time." She giggled, and Inuyasha smiled. He liked her happy stories. She often got a bit embarrassed when she was telling them, but she didn't realize how they made him believe that this was possible. It was possible to live in a happy house, to have so many happy memories.

He had promised himself that one day, they would have that too.

"So coming here must have made a big change for you, huh?"

Once again, Kagome giggled.

"You bet! I arrive here and suddenly there are demons everywhere, and they want to steal the Jewel from me and I have no idea what they're talking about, and there's that _guy_ who keeps telling me I stink and refuses to call me by my name…"

"I did tell you that," he recalled, surprise obvious in his voice. He was such a liar.

" _And_ you didn't tell me you liked my smell until the first new moon we spent together," she teased. "If I hadn't been so angry at you for that, I would have felt hurt, you know?"

"Don't be ridiculous," he snorted. "Like you could ever believe something like that."

She shook her head. "Well, _now_ I sure can't, but you didn't exactly make it obvious back then, Inuyasha."

He seemed to lose a bit of his confidence at that. "I didn't?" He had been _so_ afraid it would be obvious.

He had been so fuckin' afraid that she would laugh at him, that she wouldn't want him, that she would think he was pathetic for even daring thinking of her like that.

He was ridiculous, back then. Like Kagome would ever do something like that.

And without her, he would never have learnt how good it felt to have someone you could trust like that. To have friends.

To feel loved.

"And after that, I was there to protect you."

Kagome missed a beat in the conversation. It was short, something he could have missed, but there was the way her smile flickered, and the worried light that briefly shone in her light.

"Yes, yes you w—"

Inuyasha propped himself on his elbow.

"Kagome? Something happened?"

Who was it? He'd kill the bastard, he'd fuckin' _skin_ him and feed him to—

"Calm down," she protested, sitting up as well and putting her hands on his shoulders. "It's okay, I'm fine, I'm…"

"I ain't fuckin' joking," he hissed, grabbing her wrists. " _What_ were you talking about?"

She looked away, avoiding looking at him in the eye, and nervously proceeded to rearrange her hair.

"Really, it's not worth talking about anymore, it was a long time ago and I don't think…"

" _Kagome_." She interrupted her nervous ramble to look at him. "Please."

"It's just that I never told you about it!" she suddenly yelled. "I never did, and I don't see why I should do it now!"

Well, if she knew him well, then he knew her in the same way. He knew that when she got angry, half of the time she actually felt sad or guilty. Maybe guilty was the right word this time.

"I talked to you, didn't I? Don't you think you should do the same?"

That was probably a low blow, but it did get her to calm down. Suddenly, her shoulders drooped, and she sighed defeatedly.

"You're right," she whispered. " You're right."

"I'm always right."

She laughed, but the sound wasn't as happy as it usually was, and it made his ears flatten against his head.

"No, you're _not_. But this time… This time you're right."

He waited patiently for her to start her story. With a deep breath, she turned towards him, trying to look at him in the eyes, but eventually averting her eyes. He wasn't going to force her. If not looking at him made it easier, he would take it. He simply put his hand over hers, letting his thumb trace circles on her knuckles.

"Remember when you and the others got caught in Naraku's vines? That thing called the Illusionary Death?"

Like hell he remembered. He'd seen Kikyou killing him and he had nearly died in there. In fact, he would have, if it wasn't for her. She hadn't even had to _do_ anything. He had been saved because she had been there.

He nodded.

"Well, it didn't work on me, for some reason, so I kept walking, and eventually, I found Naraku and Kikyou. She was in a tree, and… Long story short, I shot Naraku and destroyed him, except that he was only a puppet, and he created a chasm and I fell, but I managed to grab the vines."

She took a deep breath, and Inuyasha didn't say anything, simply watching her. Now that she had started speaking, she was talking fast, like she was afraid she wouldn't have the time to tell her story.

"Then Kikyou arrived and said she could have moved all along but she wanted to know about Naraku's plans and…"

 _Kikyou let her fall…?_

"…and then her soul collectors lifted me up and she took the Sacred Jewel and…" Another sharp inspiration. "…and they let me fall. I grabbed the vines again, and then she said…" The inspiration that followed was much more shaky. "She said I was her and it was better if there was only one." Finally, she looked at him. "And that's when you arrived. She told you that she had taken the Sacred Jewel because I would be targeted by Naraku for it."

There was silence after she had finished her explanation. Inuyasha's brain felt frozen, like he was blocking it all out. Kikyou trying to kill him? He guessed he had deserved it, or that she was so angry back then that she couldn't do otherwise. But trying to kill Kagome, who hadn't done anything wrong, who had helped her and defended her? That couldn't be… Could it?

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked hoarsely.

"I…" Kagome bit her lip and closed her eyes. That was probably the part of the story she was the less eager to tell him. "I thought it'd sound like I was making it up. I thought no one would believe me."

Inuyasha wasn't stupid. He could tell that 'no one' meant 'you'. She had thought _he_ would think she was making it up, that _he_ wouldn't believe her.

"What the fuck, Kagome?" he yelled, now furious. "How could you think that? How…" How could she think that of him?

"Well you were in love with her!" she answered, shouting too. "She tried to take you to _hell_ , and you were still trying to save her! I wasn't—"

"That's because it was _my_ fault if she died! I _had_ to! I told you then, didn't I? When you spouted that non-sense about me still being in love with Kikyou? I _told_ you to have more confidence in me!"

"And a week later, after she'd given the Jewel to Naraku, you told her that you were the only one who'd protect her and you got jealous of Naraku!" Kagome answered, now close to tears. "What was I supposed to think?"

"That had _nothing_ to do with that!" he protested. "I _was_ the only one who'd protect her, wasn't I? Who else would have done it? It wasn't like she could ask priests who'd have tried to purify her immediately, right? Yeah, I didn't want the guy who'd fuckin' killed her around her either, that didn't mean I was _in love_ with Kikyou!"

There was a silence. That— that did make a lot of sense. Oops. Had she jumped to conclusions back then? That was very likely, actually.

"But what would you have done?" she asked, her voice low and trembling. "What would you have done if I had told you? You would—" Her voice broke. "You would still have protected her, wouldn't you?"

That was— Yes. No. Maybe He had no idea.

"You would have protected the woman who had tried to kill me," Kagome whispered. "And I… I know it's the right thing to do, I know it's not fair, I know what Kikyou went through, but I don't think I could have taken it back then." _I'm not sure I can take it now, so please don't say anything_. "After that, things changed, I saved Kikyou's life, I went to mount Azusa, and then she died, and there was just no point in talking about it."

Silence felt heavy in the room. He could smell her tears. She wasn't crying, she was holding it back in, his courageous little priestess who had never told him about that time she had almost been killed by fear his reaction would break her heart.

What would he have done? He couldn't tell, or maybe he could and he feared his answer. Even now, he didn't want to think that Kikyou could be held responsible for it. That just wasn't like her. So if her death was the reason behind that attitude, then he was to blame. He should be.

Except that Kagome was _innocent_.

And what if she had died? What then? Would he still have protected Kikyou then? Would he have protected her murderer?

He feared the answer was yes. He would have protected Kikyou until the very end, and then he would have greeted death, almost happily. He didn't know if he would have let her take him to hell then. Maybe not. Maybe he would have tried to take a different path, hoping that maybe, this way, he would be with Kagome again.

He couldn't think about that. He couldn't.

He sighed heavily.

"Kagome?"

"Hm?"

She was looking at him, both afraid and full of hope. How could he stay mad when she was making that face? He engulfed her in a hug, bringing her close.

"If something like that ever, _ever_ happens again, you have to tell me. I don't care who it is, if it's my own fuckin' brother. You have to tell me."

She nodded frantically, burying her head in the crook of his neck, and he felt a couple of tears escaping her eyes, before she quickly wiped them away. He hated that scent.

"Actually, particularly if it's my brother," he added. "It would be my _pleasure_ to take care of it then."

Kagome giggled. She didn't sound completely like herself, but he could tell she felt relieved.

"Hm, honestly I think I'm better equipped than you to deal with Sesshoumaru," she chirped.

"Ex _cuse_ me?" he protested, pulling away from her slightly.

"Well, I am," she answered innocently. "At least I have my powers as a priestess, but you, against Sesshoumaru… Not sure I'd place my bet on you actually."

"Oh is that so?" he growled.

Next thing she knew, she'd landed on the futon on her back, and she was laughing as he towered over in a falsely threatening way. She felt his lips on her neck and couldn't help but gasp at the feeling. He bit her lightly, without causing any pain, and he had the pleasure to hear her moan as his tongue darted out to tease her sensitive skin.

"I'd like to see you use your 'powers as a priestess' now," he grinned.

"Inuyasha," she pleaded, "it's way too hot for that."

She wasn't very convincing, with her body arched back to meet his and the way she had closed her eyes in pleasure.

"Well then, we'll just have to go take a bath, hm?" he offered, moving up towards her chin and her mouth.

She only sighed against him when their lips joined together, wrapping her arms around him and bringing him closer. She didn't say anything as he kissed her eyelids and carefully licked the places where her tears had spilled, making sure the smell didn't remain.

This— this whole thing was still complicated. She still had insecurities, and bad memories of Kikyou. Much more bad memories than good ones, actually. She didn't know what was right or wrong about it, how much she had just twisted because she had been jealous.

However, this was her present. Inuyasha was there, with her, and she would not let things like this poison them. She knew she had been wrong not to tell him, back then. She knew she would never hide something like that from him again in the future — not intentionally, to the very least.

So for now… For now, she just had to _enjoy_ the moment.

And boy, was she going to.

* * *

 _And one day, Inuyasha will learn about how Mukotsu pretty much tried to rape her and that will be a whole other story._


	9. Choice

Summary: Inuyasha struggles with feelings he had tried to bury and is able to make a decision that takes them into account.

Word count: 2,190

* * *

Choice

"Inuyasha?" Kagome called softly.

The young half-demon didn't move, and she hesitated a few seconds before taking a step towards him. She knew there was no way he could not have noticed her voice. His hearing wasn't nearly as developed as his sense of smell, but it was still better than a human's. Although, considering that, he had probably noticed her approaching as soon as she had gotten out of her sleeping bag. For him not to say anything, not to snarl at her to go back to sleep because otherwise she would complain in the morning, was unusual. And it really worried her.

She sat down next to him, grimacing when she realized that the grass was wet with dew and rubbed her arms to gain some warmth. Inuyasha was looking up at the stars, but when Kagome's gaze became too insistent for him, he turned his head in the other direction, directing his eyes at the ground. The schoolgirl's nails dug a little in the skin of her arms at the rejection, but she refused to take that as her only answer. It had never been like her to give up.

"Inuyasha," she repeated. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he mumbled, his voice gruff. "Go back to sleep, Kagome. You're gonna catch a cold, and then we're going to waste even _more_ time without looking for Naraku."

Kagome smiled despite herself. Oh, Inuyasha was an idiot, but he was _her_ idiot. She wrapped her arms around her legs and hugged them against her, resting her cheek on her knee to stare at him. He was still avoiding looking at her, but she could tell by his voice and by how long it had taken him to give that bad excuse that something was off. She had no idea why, though. On the contrary, he had to be happy.

Kikyo was alive, after all.

"I'm sure she's going to be fine," she said. With that, she got Inuyasha's attention, and she ignored the now all too familiar pain that exploded in her chest. "But if you're that worried about her, you should go look for her."

She was — she was so pathetic, she thought, anger replacing pain. What? Advising the man she was in love with to go back to a woman who had only ever made him feel miserable? Who wanted him _dead_? Who had tried to kill her? What was _wrong_ with her?

That mechanism was well-oiled, though, and as always, the answers fell into place almost immediately, not letting that anger escape her body through her mouth. Because it would reassure him. Because after that, Inuyasha would find peace, at least for a while. There was sand in those gears, though, as a nagging voice reminded her that Kikyo was only ever a temporary solution. That she was dead, and that Inuyasha would need to get better without her at one point or another. That yes, maybe she made him feel better, but in the end she was the cause of the suffering, and you can't fight fire with fire.

But Kagome couldn't fight Kikyo. She wasn't strong enough to free Inuyasha of his guilt, and she didn't know if she should, either. She refused to be the jealous, pathetic girlfriend who only wants to get rid of her boyfriend's ex. However sometimes, she wondered if the fear of becoming that made her do the wrong choice.

"You don't understand _anything_ ," Inuyasha pretty much snarled, tearing her away from thoughts that were becoming increasingly dark.

"Oh yeah?" she frowned in response. "Then what's this all about? Why have you been _brooding_ all the time since we left the waterfall?"

"What, think Kikyo's on my mind all the time? I have other shit to care about, y'know!"

Usually, Kagome would have taken the bait. She would have gotten angry, asking him if he was seriously referring to her as 'shit', and the two of them would probably have had fun with that for a while, before one of them, probably Inuyasha, would cross an invisible line and send the other, probably Kagome, back to where they came from, fuming. Tonight, though, it had been too long since Kagome was worried, and instead, she just shook her head with an annoyed sigh.

"Whatever it is, it's not going to magically go away, Inuyasha. So you can tell me about it and we can look for a solution _together_ , or you can take it upon yourself to stop making everyone worry!"

Inuyasha mumbled something she didn't get, but he knew she was right. He had noticed how Miroku and Sango walked on eggshells around him. Shippo himself was behaving better than usual, and Kagome always kept an eye on the kid to make sure he wouldn't bother him, all of them trying to leave him some space. Inuyasha appreciated it, however he knew that it couldn't go on like this for much longer. Just avoiding confrontation was exhausting for everyone.

Truth was, though, that there was no solution to his problem, and he would probably just burden Kagome if he told her about it. Maybe talking would just be selfish. It probably wouldn't do her any good to know, but—

" _Inuyasha_. Tell me."

He gulped down and blindly reached for her hand, still unable to look at her. She didn't flinch when his claws grazed against her skin, and didn't move back as he intertwined his fingers with hers.

"I… I thought it was over."

Kagome blinked. She couldn't figure what he was talking about just like that, although— Yes, maybe her imagination could travel in some direction, but there was no _way_ this was right.

"I thought I wouldn't have to worry about what Kikyo wants for her and me after this is all over."

Kagome's breath caught in her throat. He was. He was talking about her. She moved next to him so that her head would rest on his shoulder, but he pulled back, and their eyes met. Hers, hurt, his, terrified.

"I _can't_ , Kagome. You— You make me—"

He let his biggest secret and probably what frightened him the most about this whole thing. Something he knew he wouldn't be able to take back, something that would maybe hurt her, something he had known risked happening all along and he hadn't been able to prevent.

"You make me want to live." The words had trouble leaving his mouth, and his sentences felt broken as a result, but Kagome sat there, silent. Listening. "If this had been the end— I wouldn't have tried to follow Kikyo in death. I had no intention to. But if she asks now, I know I'll have to. And I don't _want_ to. It's such a— disgusting, _selfish_ —"

"It's not selfish."

Inuyasha stopped to look at her. There was no pain in her eyes any more, just determination and maybe a hint of anger.

"Inuyasha, wanting to _live_ is not selfish. It doesn't get any less selfish than that. It's literally the basis of existence. It's the _least_ you can ask for. Just because you want it for yourself does not mean it's selfish in _any_ way, because what you want _matters_." She did her best to hide the bitterness in her voice as she added "Plus you made your decision, didn't you? You chose to do it."

Inuyasha had just stared at her, mouth open while she talked, unable to understand why her words hit him so strongly. All his life, the only thing that had pushed him forwards was his instinct of survival, provided mostly by his demon part. Back then, he hated almost everything that surrounded him — demons, humans, this world that had made him like that. He didn't anymore. He didn't wish for much, just to stay in this world a little longer.

As long as Kagome was in it.

"That's the _thing_ , Kagome," he said. "Wanting to live… Is getting stronger than having to die." Silence. "But I _have to_."

 _No you don't!_ Kagome wanted to scream, to yell at him, to get some _sense_ into him. She wanted to tell him that he had nothing to do with Kikyo's death or that she was just as responsible as him, that even if he did, his debt had long been repaid, that there were people around him, including her, who had nearly died more than once to save him and then what? Should they, so it would convince him to live? You're not supposed to die to follow the dead.

But Kagome was _crushed_ between what her brain was telling her and what she knew of her emotions. They knew. Miroku, Sango, even Kaede. They all knew what Kikyo asked of Inuyasha, and they weren't saying anything. They didn't tell him how stupid it was, they didn't tell him that it was in no way a solution. That going to hell together would only bring more pain when it wasn't needed. So maybe she was the one in the wrong. Maybe, after all, she already was the jealous, pathetic and insecure new girlfriend that she was trying so hard not to become.

"This is not _fair_ ," she hissed instead, her voice slightly trembling with the tears of rage she was trying to hold back.

"I'm sorry," Inuyasha said. "You don't deserve that, Kagome. You don't—"

"Stop it!" Inuyasha immediately closed his mouth, and even if Kagome felt a hint of guilt at the way his ears drooped, she couldn't bear listening to him being so defeated one more second. _She_ knew it was important to listen to herself, that she didn't have to subject herself to something she hated just for someone else's sake if it wasn't worth it. "You need to choose it, Inuyasha," she said, her voice low. "You _can_ choose. You can choose to live. As long as you think it's _right_."

Inuyasha froze. His instinctive reaction was to think that it wasn't, that there was only one right decision in this moment. But then, his thoughts travelled to Kikyo. Not the one who was now walking on this earth, but the one he actually owed something to. And for the first time, he couldn't believe that she would want him to follow her in death.

That's when he realized that this Kikyo was gone. Forever.

He had known it for a long time, but he always rejected the idea, burying it deep inside his mind. Death was too… permanent.

He didn't know why, but this made something finally snap inside of him. Kikyo was dead. There was nothing he could do about it, except trying to save her soul. And accompanying her to hell wouldn't do that. It wouldn't even lessen her burden.

So then, what was the right thing?

There was indeed only one right decision in this moment, and he had no idea why it had taken him so long to realize it.

He looked at Kagome with new eyes. He had always thought she was the most wonderful person he had ever had the chance to meet, but now he was also so thankful.

She was waiting for his answer, and he saw hope in her eyes. He saw that she wanted him to choose to live, for himself. He knew that Kagome wouldn't want him to live just for her, that she just wanted to know that he wanted it.

He started lowering his head, his eyes on her lips, and he could pinpoint the exact moment when realization hit her.

She smiled.

He kissed her.

He didn't really know what to do. Kikyo had kissed him, but she was cold and emotionless, and it was nothing like what he was feeling right now. Probably because he already didn't love her anymore, at that point.

Kagome was warm and soft against him, and she sighed like she had been waiting for that her entire life. Her hand immediately cupped his cheek, and her lips moved slowly against his. Inuyasha was a bit stiff, but he relaxed at her contact. He allowed one of his arms to move around her waist, bringing her closer to him, incapable of making sense of all the feelings that were going through him at the moment and only able to enjoy what was happening as a strange heat he had never experienced before spread through his entire body.

Kagome didn't resist, letting him pull her on his lap, instead passing her other arm around his neck. This prompted him to maybe get overenthusiastic, and their foreheads collided, making them pull away from each other, her with a small 'ouch!', him with fear that his unusually solid forehead would have, you know, cracked her skull open — a normal worry for a demonic lover.

Instead, when their eyes met, Kagome chuckled, and Inuyasha smiled. They would have multiple other occasions to get it right, even though right now he could smell the damn fox getting up to look for Kagome and it wasn't the time.

They would have multiple other occasions, because he had made the decision — the right one.

He was choosing to live.


	10. Memories

Summary: Kagome's absence isn't the worst part of those three years for Inuyasha

Word count: 1,167

* * *

Memories

Her absence wasn't the worst part. Her absence hurt, ached, felt like a hole in his chest, crushed him like nothing ever had, but it wasn't the worst part. Her absence made him feel like he would never be whole again, like half of him would always be missing, like he would never really be _living_. But her absence wasn't the worst part.

The lack of her smell, of her presence right by his side sometimes became almost physically painful, like a ghost limb that never stopped hurting. He knew that everyone around him watched him carefully, half expecting him to break down at some point. He knew that he wasn't really fooling them, even though he kept his head up high. He knew that Sango and Miroku sometimes talked about it, and that even Shippo worried for him — even though the runt wasn't doing much better than he was.

He missed the color of her eyes, too, because the sky didn't match it exactly, and he seemed to never find something that would look _exactly_ like it. He missed the things he had never done with her, the life he wanted them to share, the kisses they had never exchanged.

He missed her so much there were moments when he wondered how he could still be alive despite the pain, how the world could still be working without her in it — in his, at least. He got some comfort from knowing that she was alive out there, somewhere, just out of his reach, and that she would still be long after his death, although, technically, she wouldn't even be born. He told himself that it was probably better like that, for her, that he wouldn't want her to have the life he could give her, but he knew that was an insult to her, to his Kagome, to their feelings.

He would take being with her over anything else, and he thought that she did too. Sometimes he doubted that, but he guessed he could only _trust_ her. Trust everything she had done for him during their journey together, trust the way she had slowly healed him back to life, trust what her smile and her smell told him.

He hoped she knew she could trust him in the same way, hoped she could hang on to what he felt for her like he did with her feelings. He thought bitterly back to the days when he hadn't been able to make her believe him behind the shadow of a doubt. He wished he could have done better, wished he hadn't been blinded by guilt. She had done _so_ much for him, and saving his life multiple times was the least of it. He hadn't been able to see through the one thing she actually needed him for.

And as much as it hurt, that he wasn't able to make things right, to let her know how much he loved her, in every possible way, not to be able to touch her, or to smell her, it wasn't the worst part.

It wasn't even how small sentences got to him, how small realizations hit him with a strength he wasn't prepared for.

"How long has it been since Kagome was last here?" Sango had asked nostalgically one evening.

"Six months, my dear," Miroku had answered from behind her.

Sango had sighed sadly, Shippo had sniffed but hold his tears back, and all of them, for one moment, had thought about how they missed her. Best friend, savior, adoptive mom — they all cared deeply for her.

Inuyasha was frozen in place.

He knew, technically, that it had been six months since he had last seen her. He kept going to the well — every day at first, and then every two days —, and he had quite a good sense of time.

But it had been _six months_. He had never thought of it with numbers, but he had never expected it to make things worse. He had never even thought there was a way of making things worse. Now, he couldn't stop hearing it.

 _Six months six months six months six months…_

It hit him then that these six months would turn into more. One day, they would be able to say "It's been a year since we last saw Kagome." And if things stayed like that, that number would only keep _growing_.

This was probably permanent.

There was a chance he would never see her again.

 _No no no no no no no_.

It was the first night he cried over her absence.

But none of this was the worst part.

There were days when it felt better. She never really left his mind, but there were days when it was almost _fine_.

And this was the worst part.

He didn't want it to stop. He'd take the pain forever if it meant that she was still there, whole, in his mind, that his feelings didn't fade.

The pain meant that he loved her. It was normal to be in pain — hell, it was normal to _cry_ — when someone you loved so much was taken away from you. If it stopped hurting, if it got better…

He couldn't finish the thought. He was never able to. He couldn't imagine a world where he didn't love Kagome.

He couldn't imagine a world where she never existed either.

There were moments when he felt like he couldn't recall her face correctly, where her smile became blurry in his memories. He wasn't even sure he knew her laugh exactly — he'd give anything to hear it again, just _once_ —, although sometimes the tone of her voice came back to him vividly. No, not the 'sit', although that did too, when he did some shit that would have gotten on her nerve.

It was other stuff that came back to him. "I want to be together with you, Inuyasha," by the well. "I love Inuyasha!" when his thoughts drifted towards Naraku's creepy baby, even though this was a stolen confession, one she hadn't meant for him.

And "I'm glad I could be by your side" in his tree.

He didn't want to forget her, to forget anything about her. They had had so _little_ time. Couldn't he at least get that? Remember precisely everything about her?

Apparently no. It wouldn't be given to him.

He was terrified of waking up one day and that no one would remember her. Of finding out that she had been a cruel invention of his mind, that she had never been there to begin with.

That was the worst part.

The worst part wasn't her absence, it wasn't the possibility that she would never be a part of his world ever again.

The worst part was forgetting about her.

And on the day she reappeared… He realized he would never have to worry about that again.

Because even if he did forget small parts of their time together, they would keep on creating new ones.

Together.


	11. Shy Kiss — Prompt

Summary: Inuyasha and Kagome got into an argument — again. Fortunately, Inuyasha knows who he should go to for advice. Written for a Tumblr prompt.

Word count: 1,090

* * *

Sango was peacefully by herself, polishing Hiraikotsu, when Inuyasha let himself fall next to her with an irritated growl. She didn't say anything, just waiting for him to start complaining. She was starting to get used to this.

"The fuck was she talking about?" he mumbled. "I can't believe she's still stuck on that Kikyo thing."

Sango bit her lip not to answer. _Because you're not, maybe?_

"Shouldn't she know by now? I mean I'm fucking travelling with her, never asked Kikyou to join or if I could go with her, I keep saving her life, I think it's fucking clear!"

Okay, Sango sighed. They were doing this.

"Kagome literally told you she didn't have any feelings for Koga and expressed what she felt for you more than once," she reminded him in a very calm voice in which she managed to hide all the inner torments she was feeling in the moment. "That doesn't stop you from being jealous."

There were a few moments of silence, and she carefully eyed Inuyasha who was sitting still, surprisingly deep in thoughts for once.

"That's different," he finally said.

 _Because Kagome was never in a relationship with Koga and never promised to give him her life? Yes, I agree_. Ugh, he was lucky she was a good friend, and he was lucky she was convinced he was a much better choice than Koga for Kagome.

"Inuyasha, we all save each other's lives all the time in the group, don't we?"

Another silence, before Inuyasha grumbled "'xcept Shippo." And then, "nah, even the runt helped us once or twice."

Sango smiled. "Listen, Inuyasha, I know it's not easy for you to say it out loud, and I'm not _sure_ Kagome would like it if you yelled at her that she's a moron and that she should have understood your feelings by now. There are some things you can't believe because it would hurt too much if you were wrong. So… maybe find another way to let her know?"

Inuyasha seemed to consider the possibility, and for a second, Sango noticed what looked like fear on his face. She didn't ask, though. With a simple nod at her, Inuyasha took off, leaving her alone once again. She mentally patted herself on the back, congratulating herself for the advice which she was convinced would work, if Inuyasha found the right thing to do. Thank God he was coming to her for that and not to Miroku.

She went back to enjoying her peace, focusing completely on her task and letting herself relax. The silence, the calm, it all felt good, it all felt right…

"My dear Sango," a chanting voice called, "I've been looking for you everywhere!"

There were days when you just couldn't get a moment to yourself.

And for some reason, Sango didn't mind that much.

* * *

Inuyasha jumped in Kagome's room through her window, light and silent as a predator. Yet, Kagome looked up from the book she was reading, sitting on her bed, unfazed. Her lips were drawn in a thin line, and he knew she was pissed — or maybe she was hurt, but that thought terrified him too much to think about it.

For a few strange seconds, none of them talked. He was staring at her, trying to build the courage to do what he had thought about when Sango had given him her advice, and she was obviously waiting for him to say something. Finally, with a sigh, she stood up.

"I was going to come back soon, so you can go wait for me on the other side of the well, Inuyasha." It was obvious in her tone that she was still annoyed at him, and hearing her say that made him want to snap at her, complain about how long it would take her to do that if he wasn't watching her, all things that would no doubt end up with her throwing him out.

"I'm not going to do that," he answered instead, crossing his arms on his chest. He thought he had been really restrained, far calmer than he usually was, but that didn't seem to satisfy her, and she rolled her eyes.

"Really, Inuyasha, it's _fine_. I just don't want to do this right now."

His ears drooped a little on his head, betraying his emotions even though his face didn't. Kagome noticed — of course she did — and despite herself she felt a pang of guilt in her chest. She knew she'd hurt him if she told him she didn't want to see him right now, and while the words would probably have spilled out of her mouth if she had been angry, she had calmed down now, and she couldn't bring herself to say them in cold blood.

"I need some time, Inuyasha, that's all. I promise I'll be back soon, okay?"

He still wasn't saying anything, and she was now starting to worry. It wasn't like him. Usually, this would end in a fight, allowing her to blow some steam, and even if it was unrelated to how she was feeling, making it easier for her to forgive him in the end.

'Forgive him.' For something he couldn't help.

God, there were moments when she _hated_ herself.

"Inuyasha, pl—"

Suddenly, he grabbed her arms, and his lips were pressed against hers.

Kagome froze.

His lips were soft and warm, and his nose, on the contrary, was a little cold. He was holding her with probably a little more strength than was necessary, and he was completely stiff, like he was very unsure of what he should do.

He stepped back, a blush on his cheek, and let out his signature 'keh!'.

Kagome didn't move.

"Now let's go," he said without looking at her, afraid to see her expression. "I'm taking you back with me."

Kagome didn't say anything, and he could tell from the corner of his eye that she still wasn't moving. Finally, he dared to glance at her.

Her face was scarlet, her mouth still part open, and her eyes wide. It took Inuyasha a few seconds to register that this was because of him, and then, the stupidest, widest grin appeared on his face. _He_ was the one having that effect on her.

Oh, he was _proud_ of himself.

"Shall we go, Kagome?" he asked, his tone a little teasing as he leaned towards her.

She nodded quickly, avoiding to look at him, and his grin widened a little more with pure satisfaction.

Sango always gave the best advice.


	12. Lazy Kiss — Prompt

Summary: Inuyasha has been gone for a while and is absolutely exhausted when he returns. Luckily, his wife is there to take care of him.

Word count: 884

 _Another prompt that someone asked to me write on Tumblr! Expect a third one soon (:_

* * *

Kagome walked back into the house with a heavy sigh. Today had been long and _exhausting_. It didn't help either that Inuyasha had been gone for a week, and that she missed him terribly. In the last year since she had come back, she had gotten used to the fact that he would sometimes leave with Miroku, and she herself had decided that she wouldn't come with them until her training was complete, which would probably still take a little more time.

She could have, technically, as her powers were more than strong enough, but she knew that it would only worry Inuyasha and so, with a roll of the eyes, she had accepted to wait. There were moments when she got itchy with the want to leave, to travel, though, and she could tell Sango was going through the same things. Miroku worried far less than Inuyasha, but even he was very protective of his recently pregnant wife.

She had made a lot of progress, since she had gotten back here, though, and so she was surprised when, stepping into the room she shared with the half-demon, she saw him laying on the bed, his arm against his eyes, probably trying to shield his eyes from the declining light. Blinking, she searched for his aura, as she should definitely have felt it. When actively looking for it, she finally found it, but it was surprisingly weak. It was not the new moon though, because she would never have let Inuyasha leave the village right before — her husband didn't have a monopoly on protectiveness.

So… Oh, poor him.

She knelt down beside him, and he grunted when he felt her weight next to him. In his daze, he had vaguely smelled her walking in the house, but the entire place carried her scent, which he still found unbelievably soothing, so he wasn't even entirely sure.

"My poor Inuyasha," Kagome sighed, carefully maneuvering his head so it rested on her lap and starting to softly massage his ears, "did you have a long journey?"

Inuyasha was in heaven. His eyes were closed, and he had completely abandoned himself in her expert hands.

"Demon was strong," he answered in a low mumble. "And then, Miroku decided he had a bad foreboding about home and we ran for two days when I had just done all the work. _And_ I carried him on my back during the night."

"Oh," Kagome blinked, surprised. "It's true that the twins got ill. Kaede and I spent a lot of time taking care of them and Sango was really worried."

"Great," Inuyasha grunted. "That means that now, we'll _have_ to do that whenever he has that feeling."

Kagome chuckled at her husband's obvious annoyance.

"Well, at least it looks like he was right. How about I go fix you dinner and then you can sleep? You must be hungry."

"Don't go," Inuyasha groaned. "Just stay there."

Kagome giggled again. It was rare for Inuyasha to express what he wanted. Sadly, as much as she would have liked to indulge him, her instincts reminded her that he needed to eat. If him and Miroku had run for the past two days, he no doubt was getting low on energy, even though maybe his demonic part didn't let him realize completely.

"I really have to move, Inuyasha. I'll make it quick, but trust me, you _need_ to eat."

Inuyasha's eyes opened, and Kagome was surprised by how awake his golden stare seemed. Her surprise was used against her, as next thing she knew, Inuyasha had made her fall onto the futon, and was crushing her under his weight. His nose nuzzled her neck, and she shivered when he nibbled at her skin.

"Missed you. Don't go."

Oh, God, they weren't going to get _anything_ done like that.

"Inuyasha."

Another grunt, followed by a deep breath, and she guessed he was inhaling her scent as his body relaxed a little against hers.

" _Inuyasha_."

"Fine, fine," he mumbled, lifting himself up on his elbows.

Her hands moved to his face and she gently caressed his cheeks as they stared at each other.

"I missed you too," Kagome whispered. Inuyasha grunted again, moving closer, to the point his nose touched her cheek, and as always, Kagome was vaguely surprised to find it cold. His lips found hers, and she responded tenderly to his slow kiss. His tongue moved against hers, and he sighed in contentment. Kagome wrapped her arms around him, and she felt him practically melt against hers.

Which meant…

" _Don't_ fall asleep on me," she protested.

Inuyasha growled, but even that sounded half-asleep. Pushing him a little, she managed to get him off of her, and he rolled to the side.

"Come on," she said, grabbing his hand. "If you don't come with me, you'll sleep and you won't eat before tomorrow. Get up, Inuyasha."

"Ugh. You're such a…"

"…a wonderful wife, yes, I know. Let's go, Inuyasha."

With a sigh and a little help of her, he got up, unconsciously stepping closer to her than he usually did so he could smell her better. Kagome noticed, and smiled, but didn't say a word. She herself found herself leaning against him while she prepared dinner.

Yes indeed, they had missed each other.


	13. Reunion Kiss — Prompt

Summary: Another prompt. For the first time, Sango and Kagome are the ones to go take care of a demon, leaving Inuyasha at the village. And he's not missing his wife. At all. Also, that was a lie.

Word count: 1,464

* * *

It was one thing when Inuyasha left with Miroku to go take care of a demon. It meant he left his wife behind, sure, but for some reason, it didn't make him worry. That much. Of course, his protectiveness wasn't too comfortable with the thought that he wouldn't be there if something happened, but at the same time, he knew that there would always be people around. The villagers were good people, and they'd protect his wife with their lives. Plus, Sango was able to defend them, and Kaede was around to intervene if needed.

And then, of course, Kagome was more than capable to look after herself.

However, when Kagome and Sango decided they would take the next demon, Inuyasha had _not_ been happy with that. Much to his annoyance, Miroku 'I-don't-want-to-be-protected-by-a-woman' had apparently not seen any problem with that, and once it was decided that Sango would be going, there wasn't much he could say to try to convince his wife to stay and to let him take care of that.

But his woman had stood her ground, and to be honest, part of him had been fucking proud and, to be completely honest, a little aroused when she had just stared at him with her big, decided blue eyes, arms crossed on her chest.

The other part of him, he was fighting not to throw her on his shoulders and lock her in their house. Not that he'd win that fight, actually, given her powers, which were getting more and more impressive as she learned about them. That said, maybe, if he was quick enough…

Eventually, he had had to give up. He had offered to accompany them, but they had declined, Sango reminding him that he had to help Miroku, because her husband would not be able to handle their three children on his own. And Inuyasha had grumbled a lot, but in the end, he had let them go, because he wasn't going to beg, was he?

That was ridiculous after all. They'd be gone for just a few days, they were more than capable to take care of themselves, just as good as him and Miroku, if not better, and they'd be back soon, and he absolutely would not miss her, not one bit, ahah, why would he, he wouldn't even notice she was gone.

Naturally, when he said that to Miroku, his friend just shook his head, and he was opening his mouth to tell him just how much of a liar he thought he was, when one of the twins started screaming while the other started to run towards the forest. So, that effectively ended the conversation.

As long as he was busy, her absence wasn't _that_ bad. But when he went back to their house, and he realized it wasn't there, it felt weird. It didn't feel right.

The home still smelled like her, but he was never alone here, and he soon found out he actually couldn't stomach it.

So he spent the night in a tree.

The next day wasn't any better. Her absence went from 'vague inconvenience' to 'serious pain in the ass', and this night again, he went to the tree, but he barely slept this time.

It wasn't until the third day that he actually understood what was going on. Well, he had probably known all this time, and he was sure that Kagome would have understood that much quicker than he did, but it was then that it actually _hit_ him.

This was like… Like Before.

Like during the three years.

Like when she wasn't there.

Realizing that actually made him… pause. Stop what he was doing. Before he knew it, he was by the well, hovering around it, as though this would be where she'd be coming from. When he noticed what he was doing, he growled to himself, and left the place, hoping no one had seen him. Instead, he went to the hill where he usually spent his time when she was gone. Yeah, that would be _far_ less suspicious. That way, no one would realize that he was an emotional wreck right now, that he was missing her so fucking much, and that he wasn't able to make his emotions comprehend what his mind _fucking knew_.

He was furious at himself, and with Kagome not there, there was no one around to tell him that he had no reasons to blame himself, that it was normal, that that sort of stuff left scars. That he was fine, that they were fine, that it would all be alright, that it was already alright, because they were together now.

For now, though, his head was turned towards the sky as he was conjuring her picture in his mind, and trying to imagine where she was at the moment. They should be coming back soon, and actually there had even been a possibility that she'd be there at this exact moment, but he couldn't smell her, so…

"Inuyasha!"

His ears perked up at the familiar voice, and he turned, his eyes wide with shock.

There she was, waving at him and running in his direction. He stood slowly, frozen, frowning. He wasn't smelling her. Actually, he wasn't smelling anything coming from that person, and that — that really wasn't normal.

She kept on running, and all of his other senses, including his instinct, were telling him that this _was_ Kagome. The way she moved, the way her cheeks flushed, the way she was smiling at him… It was all _just like her_. He doubted even shapeshifting demons could come to that level of similarities. So then why…?

Suddenly, it felt as though something broke, and her scent hit him, just as strong and delightful as it always was. He didn't have the time to move before she threw her arms around him and pulled him down towards her to kiss him.

He was fucking confused for now, but this was definitely his Kagome, and since she had apparently missed him as much as he had, he responded with passion, making her squeal with surprise when his hand landed on the small of her back and pressed her body against him while the other went to the nape of her neck, trying to get her as close from him as possible.

Kagome finally stepped back, her eyes wide and her cheeks a bright red.

"W-we're in public, Inuyasha," she protested, a little weakly.

"Keh, you started it, wench," he mumbled, although even he was now feeling a little uncomfortable at the display of affection.

"I did," Kagome admitted quietly, eyeing him discreetly. "I… wanted to surprise you."

That got his interest. "So I didn't imagine it, then? You didn't smell like anything when you arrived?"

Kagome grinned widely. "I wasn't sure it would work on that! Yes— So Sango and I met that demon, and he was actually really strong, and I don't know if I told you, but I've always had a lot of trouble making barriers? Well it wasn't an option this time, because he actually had lots of children — don't ask, I don't know how it worked either — and…"

Inuyasha listened to her ramble as they both started walking to the house, marveling at her presence at his side, at her voice, at how excited she looked to be telling him that. It was funny to see her react almost like him when he made Tetsusaiga stronger back when they were fighting Naraku, eager to use her new powers.

She looked at him, realizing he was staring, and she gave him a tender smile. She could tell he wasn't listening to a word she was saying, but it was fine.

Without a warning, he leaned towards her and kissed her again, this time more softly, before pressing several small kisses on her cheek, making her giggle.

"Don't leave again," he mumbled as his hand found hers.

Some sadness crept into her heart as Kagome understood exactly what he was talking about and what he had probably felt those past few days. She had known it was a possibility when she had left, being probably more aware of that than he was, and she had still chosen to leave. For her. She wanted to know exactly how strong she was, and that she really was capable to fight.

That didn't mean she didn't care that he had been hurt. It would both take them a long time to heal, after those three years apart. And she would do what was in her power to help him.

She rubbed his knuckles with her thumb and got on her tiptoes to kiss him briefly, tenderly.

"I will never leave you, Inuyasha."

* * *

 _Please don't hesitate to leave a review if you've enjoyed this or one-shots before, it's always nice to know that my work is appreciated!_


	14. Conflict

Summary: Written for Inuvember — Day one. When Inuyasha leaves Kagome behind to go see Kikyou, his mind is empty. But coming back to her, knowing he's breaking her heart, always kills him.

Word count: 1,164

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Conflict

Leaving was easy, because he never thought when he did. The Soul Collectors appeared, and just like that he was gone, jumping after them, his mind entirely turned towards the woman who was waiting for him on the other side of the creatures' luminous trail. He didn't think; he wasn't able to. He was plagued with fears, with the possibility that she may be gone, or dying, and that she was calling for him right before she left this world for the last time.

He felt torn on that issue. Part of him wished she would. He wished she would finally be free, and her soul at rest. He wished she didn't need him for that and that she would release him from his promise, but she never did, and he never brought it up, unwilling to deprive her of what had seemed to be a small relief in her painful existence.

Another part of him, though, remembered vividly what she had been like when she was alive, and how much she had meant to him, how much he had cared. This was the part he clung to desperately, even though the other one grew stronger every day. This was the right thing to feel, he thought. He was responsible, it was his burden to help her in any way she desired.

He knew it.

He accepted it.

But even though leaving was easy, returning when he had been dismissed always crushed him.

The discussions were generally brief and uninteresting, with Kikyou letting out her informations sparingly, through thin lips, still seemingly judging him, not trusting him nor the group fully. Then, oftentimes without even a contact between them, she signaled him that he could leave, or she did herself, flying away on her Soul Collectors.

As soon as she was out of his sight, it dawned on him again.

 _Kagome_.

Every time, he hated himself more. Every time, he felt ashamed as he walked back towards the group, his feet suddenly heavy.

He knew she'd be there. He knew she'd be hurt. Maybe she would smell like tears. She rarely did, and normally that would make his heart swell with pride. Another proof of how strong she was, his Kagome.

But this was different, because he was the one making her cry, or he was the one forcing her to hold back her tears. In any way, he was the one causing her pain.

Most times, she didn't climb on his back afterwards. She did it in a very quiet, almost discreet way, and he knew she was trying to avoid the conflict for the sake of their mission, simply asking Sango if she could ride with her. The mechanic was well oiled by now. Miroku wouldn't remark on it, abandoning his place behind the slayer to run by Inuyasha. Even Shippo had learned to shut his mouth, although it wouldn't take much for him to utter a nagging remark.

By the end of the day, Kagome had generally calmed down, and their relation went back to normal, without any resolution.

He knew he hurt her, pained her. He could sometimes smell tears in her room when he went to get her from her era, and it killed him. More than once, he had thought about asking her to stay there, he had even considered destroying the well while she was there, but he was never able to go through with it.

It made him feel all the more like he was lower than hurt. He didn't deserve her, not her kindness, not her smiles, not her scent. Not if he was putting her through all that.

He always slowed down so much he was barely even moving when he neared the camp. He smelled the air, trying to figure out if she was awake, vaguely hoping that no one would have noticed he was gone, even though he knew it would come up at some point and that she would be hurt by his silence.

There was no way out of it. He'd hurt her by his silence, he'd hurt her by his words. The only way not to would be not to go — and this was out of his power as well.

He always wondered why she bothered to stay. She loved him, but he didn't understand how that could be enough.

He had asked himself, more than once, what she got out of it. He didn't think he brought her happiness, didn't think he brought her joy. _He_ would give up everything he could just to be by her side and to breathe her in, even if she didn't give him anything — he just didn't have anything to give her. But she gave him _everything_. She taught him how to love, how to laugh, how to cry. She gave him friends and a reason to live.

Somehow, she had made it so that even if she was gone and he was to never see her again, he thought he would be able to keep on living. It would kill him and he would never be able to forget her, no doubt, and he didn't think anyone would ever take her place in his heart, but he would probably be able to keep on living. Life would be tasteless and worthless, but he would still have Miroku, Shippo and Sango with him.

If they weren't there either, well, he… He didn't know what he'd do. He had promised Kikyou he would follow her in hell, but if all his friends were dead, he wouldn't want to. He would want to think that there was another path he could take.

One in which, maybe, he could meet Kagome again, no matter how low his chances.

So he always went back to them, to the group. Always feeling like he was about to break, always thinking of how selfish he was for dwelling on his own feelings when it was hers that he was stepping on. Trying to diminish the issue, trying to make the guilt less crushing. Always failing miserably.

When he came back this time, Kagome was awake, searching for him. Their eyes met, and pain immediately exploded in his chest.

Fuck. _Fuck_. He fucking hated himself.

"Kagome, I—"

She looked away.

'I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. Please leave. Please don't let me hurt you any more.'

But he wanted her to stay. Selfishly, he wanted her. So he went to sit by her side, unable to ask for her forgiveness when he knew he did not deserve it.

The silence was heavy with things unsaid.

"Why do you stay, Kagome?"

He didn't know why he had asked.

There was a silence, and then— "Because of you, Inuyasha." Silence. "Because I love you."

She started to sob. He engulfed her in his arms, crushing her against his chest as she cried silently, her fingers gripping his hakama tightly.

He had no right to her, no right to tell her of his feelings when it would only make her situation more difficult.

So he didn't tell her he loved her too.

* * *

 _Hope you enjoyed! Just letting you know I won't be posting every day for Inuvember because I won't be doing only fanfics. If you're interested in other stuff, I'll be posting it on my Tumblr (dyaz-stories)! Please let me know if you've enjoyed this ^-^  
_


	15. Attachment

Summary: Miroku was used to being alone. Until he met people who made him not ever want to be alone again. Written for Inuvember.

Word count: 611

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Attachment

Miroku had always walked alone. Just like his life, everything he knew was to be brief. Friends, women, enemies… What was the point in making it last? Yes, they offered him brief moments of comfort, but he could never forget about the essence of his existence, unless he was so drunk his brain shut off or in the arms of a woman.

So he always walked alone, and he had no intention to change it.

He always left people behind. People would reproach it to him when it was women, or for some people, compliment him on his, certainly impressive, list of relationships, but he left others behind as well, without much of an hesitation. Betrayal and theft were things he was familiar with. As long as it made life easier for him, as long as it allowed him to get some of that comfort and oblivion he longed for desperately.

Truth was, he had no intention to die, and he certainly didn't _want_ to. He wanted to enjoy life as long as he could — it was way too much fun to be alive. It was just that, if he was going to die so soon anyway, he might as well make sure he was making the most out of all the things that he would normally have had the possibility to experience. Miroku wasn't a defeatist, he was just realist.

Meeting the group changed things though. Not that he had cared that much at first. Kagome was pretty enough, but she was obviously already taken, even if the guy didn't seem to be too clear about it, and Miroku had no intention to shorten his life even more, thank you very much. As for the other two, he just… ignored them. Mostly.

Maybe things changed, slowly, but Miroku did his best not to acknowledge it. He was just taking his chance, now that he actually had one to extend his lifetime. It was just for now, and then he'd leave them, just as he always left everybody, and finally get what he had always been longing for: a family.

But there was that nagging little voice, reminding him that he could have had that whenever he wanted to. Telling him that maybe, the problem came from him, and that he would never meet the right woman for him.

And then he did.

And then, he didn't want to walk alone ever again. He wanted to live. He wanted to defeat Naraku. He wanted to kill the people who had hurt her, and at the same time, he wanted to stay in her shadow forever, admiring her as she defeated them on her own, because she was able to. He wanted to hold her even in her darkest times. He wanted to make sure that _she_ would never have to walk alone.

It took him a long time to realize it, but slowly, over the months, Miroku understood. He wouldn't be able to walk alone again. He would actually die for other people, and he would do it gladly if it meant that they would walk out, alive.

So he promised himself he would do anything it took to make sure that they would be able to keep walking together. So they would never be alone — the priestess from another time, the lonely half-demon, the orphan fox-demon, and most importantly, the demon killer who had stolen his heart.

If it meant that he had to make sure that they wouldn't be around him when he would inevitably lose his life to the curse… Then so it would be.

At least, he wouldn't walk out of this life feeling alone.


	16. Surprise Kiss — Prompt

Summary: Yet another prompt. It takes some time for Inuyasha to get used to demonstration of affection in private, let alone in public. But if there's one thing that rubs him the wrong way, it's guys getting a little too close from his wife.

Word count: 1,117

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There was a weird laps of time, right after their wedding, when Inuyasha was never sure of what the limit was with Kagome. It wasn't only that he was relatively shy — not that he would ever say that out loud, because he wasn't shy, he was _manly_ —, or that part of him stupidly feared that she would be ashamed of being seen with him, a half-demon.

Note that this idea was particularly dumb, since the girl had literally _married_ him, but it wasn't something Inuyasha was really conscious of, or that he had thought about. Because then, even if it had been a possibility, he would have thought that the villagers would never judge them. Or he would have rationalized it, and understood that this was just some deeply ingrained fear that had nothing to do with Kagome, and everything with how people had treated his mom when she was still alive.

There was also the fact that, Kagome coming from a different era, her and Inuyasha had different boundaries, different ideas of what was acceptable. She had told him with a small laugh that he was lucky that she didn't come from a different part of the globe, because then it would have actually been a _terrible_ shock for him. He had silently agreed whole-heartedly. Mostly because, had she been from another country, they would probably never have met.

Still, they needed some time to adjust. Part of the problem was that Inuyasha was… not that great at gestures of affection. Words were out of the question most of the time, and while he did better with actual actions — getting her her favorite meat, going to pick fruits that could only be found several miles away — he had a really hard time with actual, you know, kisses and hugs and all that shit.

He had observed Miroku and Sango, paying attention to that stuff, which he had never actually done during the three years of Kagome's absence, except to wonder vaguely what it would have felt like to share that with her, thoughts that he immediately suppressed because of how much they hurt.

So there was progress to be made. It started slowly, with him initiating their intimate times in the bedroom, something that surprised Kagome at first, but that she clearly didn't mind, as her _enthusiasm_ showed him. After that one time, that, to be fair, left him with a weird sense of pride that had him grinning long into the next day, he started trying to do other stuff. Sometimes, it was things he had seen people doing, like putting a lock of hair behind her ear, and he had been surprised at how the gesture had his heart pounding, and how Kagome had blushed as well.

Sometimes, it was things Kagome did for him. Hugging her, kissing her, grabbing her hand… But doing it in public was still something he couldn't bring himself to do.

That didn't mean he never thought about it, because _fuck_ , he did. That time when Koga had come to visit, for example, it had been on his mind the entire goddamn time. But Kagome was congratulating him for his wedding, and then she was admiring his kid — because yeah, he was there with his wife, but he was still all over her, dammit.

Maybe it wasn't romantically, and maybe it was just normal behavior for wolf-demons, and maybe Ayame didn't seem to think Kagome was a threat at all anymore, but that wasn't a fuckin' reason, and it certainly didn't make him feel better. Kagome had glared at him more than once that day, and he had only then realized he was growling.

The nights after the wolves' visit had definitely been interesting, and a very, _very_ nice surprise for Kagome. It was rare for Inuyasha to be that assertive when it came to his emotions, but she had very much liked that.

It took much longer for him to act when they were in the village though. He had noticed rather early that young men here kinda liked Kagome, and apparently, the more they knew about her, the more they liked her. He couldn't really fault them for that, but that didn't mean he liked it.

It was, however, the occasion for him to discover that Kagome was the most oblivious person to those sort of things. Made him wonder if there had been boys behaving like that with her, on the other side of the well, and she just hadn't noticed.

It was one of those days, when he was walking home after a long day of helping an older villager in the fields, that he noticed The Boy.

He was leaning just a little too close to Kagome, who seemed to barely even notice it, certainly not batting an eye, and before he knew it, Inuyasha was in movement.

"Hey."

Kagome turned, had the time to blink, and suddenly his lips were on hers. He tilted her head just a little with his clawed fingers, careful not to hurt her, and furiously eyed the guy, before briefly pressing Kagome against him and letting her go. He was pretty sure he was blushing, but then at least, he'd have gotten his point across.

Kagome stared at him for a couple of seconds while he resolutely avoided her eyes.

"Oh, erm, Sota, this is my husband. I'm guessing you've seen him around before."

Inuyasha blinked dumbly while the boy nodded and gave him an enthusiast salutation.

"I'll see you later then," Kagome said, flashing him a smile.

"Sure!" he answered, and Inuyasha realized how young he actually was at that moment. He watched him run away, feeling maybe just a little dumb.

"So," Kagome said. "What was that?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Inuyasha mumbled, feeling his face heat up even more than before. Still… "Sota?"

"Yes," she answered, clearly trying to hide the amusement in her voice. "Like my brother."

"I know that," he growled.

For a few moments, they walked side by side. Inuyasha had rarely felt that stupid — and he had done pretty stupid stuff in his life.

"Inuyasha?"

"What n—"

Kagome gripped his hakama and pulled him towards her, crashing her lips against his. _Wait, we're in public_ , went through his mind for a brief instant. _Well, fuck the public_ , he added quickly as he wrapped his arms around her, responding to her hungrily, feeling something inside him bloom.

 _She's mine_ , he thought.

"For the record, you can kiss me like that anytime you want," Kagome whispered.

"Duly noted," he answered huskily.

"You don't have to get jealous for that."

"I wasn't jealous!"

"Sure you weren't."

"Kagome!"


	17. Passionate Kiss — Prompt — Mirsan

Summary: Another prompt, for a passionate kiss, but this time for Mirsan! Sango feels uncomfortable with Miroku's attitude with other women, and she decides to let him know about it. It's up to Miroku to let her know that there's only one woman for him.

Word count: 1,303

* * *

Sango didn't really think of herself as an insecure woman, but that didn't mean that seeing her fiancé hit on other women was something she enjoyed. Particularly when he asked them to bear his child when she, the woman who _was_ going to bear his child, and hopefully children, was standing right fucking there.

Most of the time, she 'let it slide', if you could call hitting him with the Hiraikotsu that. This mostly meant that, in the end, she didn't care. It obviously didn't feel nice but… In the end, why would she care? She knew where his heart was. She knew he'd give everything up for her, that he would do anything to protect her. She knew that he would rather die than hurt her. She knew that, because he almost _had_. So, as annoying as his flirty habits were, she could allow herself not to mind.

Sometimes, though, it was different. Felt different. It took her a while to understand what triggered that feeling, and when she did, she couldn't say that she enjoyed the discovery, or what it said about her.

It was when the women were _pretty_. Not just pretty, but _feminine_. With bright smiles, giggles and… And all those things girls her age did around men that she had never learned because she had never cared for it.

She had known for a long time that people around her didn't really see her as a woman. It was already true back at the demon slayers' village. Sometimes, their clients did, at the beginning, complaining about that, but it never lasted long. Oh, every once in a while, some dumb and strong man would convince himself that he wanted her as his bride, but it would end up with him falling back down in the dust and her leaving him behind, unconscious.

They saw her as a fighter, a warrior, eventually a nice trophy. They didn't see her as a woman.

And to be honest, at the time, she really didn't give a fuck. She was far from being the only female warrior out there. Her mother herself was practically _legendary_ among the demon slayers. She knew that there would be people out there who would accept that she could be a fighter _and_ a woman, and if they didn't, well, their loss. She didn't want to burden herself with people like them anyway.

However, if there was one person out there who she wanted to see her as a woman, it would have to be Miroku.

So, when she saw him ask those women, it reminded her that, at the beginning, he hadn't seen her as a woman either.

When they had first met, he hadn't asked her to bear his child. Later on, him and Inuyasha had also clearly instructed her to protect Kagome and Shippo — the girl and the child.

And, sure, this had _had_ to have changed, since he asked her to marry him. She also knew that his own feelings had been very complicated at the time, as he feared that if she was too close, he'd risk swallowing her with the wind tunnel.

But when she understood what was going on and how it made her feel, she decided she had to put an end to it.

She thought about her choices, she did. She decided that she could try to change, to look more like those girls, to appear more like what men expected of women, but she ended up crossing that possibility. Not only did she refuse to betray herself like that, but she doubted it would work, and she doubted that was what Miroku wanted from her.

Which left her with another possibility: an ultimatum.

"Miroku?"

The monk jumped slightly at the sound of her voice, and turned to her to give her a surprisingly tender smile. He was just getting used to her using his name instead of his title to talk to him, and he was almost shocked by how much he liked it.

Although it was making it incredibly hard for him not to joke around about how he wanted to hear her say his name in other circumstances.

"Yes, my dear Sango?"

With a sigh, she sat down on the grass next to him.

"Miroku, you know I love you."

He did, but the words still made his heart jump in his chest.

"But no matter how much I love you, I can't help it that I'm hurt when you go after those other women." There was a moment of reflexion. "Maybe _because_ of how much I love you. And… I don't see the point in getting hurt. I'm not… saying you can't talk to other women. It's just, when you ask _them_ to bear your child, I doubt myself. I doubt that I'll be enough. That I _am_ enough."

There. She didn't see the point in making her explanations last longer; she had always been a rather straight-to-the-point kind of girl, apart from when she was trying to pretend that she didn't have feelings from the monk who was sitting right next to her.

Said monk who wasn't saying anything.

Dread filled her for a second. She hadn't really doubted that he would chose her when she had arrived. He loved her, and she thought that surely, he would value her not feeling like that over the futile pleasure he got from flirting with these other women. There was no way he was hesitating… Right?

Suddenly, he stood up, and held out his hand. His face was resolute. She hesitantly grabbed his, and she found herself being easily lifted up. It was easy to forget how strong Miroku was, particularly when Inuyasha was around, but Sango still hadn't expected to find herself suddenly pressed against his chest as one of his hands clasped around her waist, the other still holding her hand as though it was some kind of gem.

"Sango."

"Y-yes?"

Ugh, dammit! She was probably blushing and now she was stammering and this _wasn't her_!

"I love you. I would do anything for you. And I'm sorry I hurt you."

Miroku had the time to see the relief on her face, before he stopped holding himself back and finally kissed her. He had to say, Sango was absolutely beautiful when she was blushing, and he loved to know that he was the only one capable to get that response out of her.

The demon slayer melted into the kiss, sighing with pleasure as her body arched against Miroku's. She didn't let go of Miroku's hand, but her other arm moved to place itself around Miroku's neck, and she found herself running his finger through his hair as she tried to pull him _closer_ from her. She was still relatively new to this whole intimacy thing, and if there was one thing she knew, it was that he had never kissed her like that before.

But she really, really liked it.

She would have let him kiss her like that for much longer, if his hand that was around her waist hadn't suddenly moved down to grab her ass.

Her eyes widened in surprise, and much to her horror, what could only be described as a moan escaped her mouth. Miroku released her immediately, and they moved away from each other, both panting a little. Miroku was staring at her, and there was a flame burning in his eyes that she had never seen before, but it made her heart flutter in the strangest of ways.

"You're the only person I would want to spend the rest of my life with," Miroku said calmly, but also almost dreamily.

And well… Even if that meant that she would have to bear with his lecherous ways, Sango decided that it was worth it.

 _He_ was worth it.


	18. Crisis

Summary: Based on a Tumblr post by Keichanz about a jealous Kagome. Inuyasha's not the only one who can get jealous, but Kagome handles the feeling very differently.

Word count: 3,043

* * *

Kagome didn't think of herself as jealous.

Truth be told, she thought of herself as _extremely_ tolerant, but she was vaguely aware of the fact that this probably wasn't completely true. Still, how many girls did you know who let her boyfriend go to meet his ex who had kissed him and to whom he had sworn his life _and_ who had literally tried to kill them with only a small fight afterwards? Hm? Yeah, didn't think so. What _she_ was used to were girls dumping their boyfriends for so much as talking to their exes or just girls who were a little pretty. The worst so far had been Eri, breaking up with a guy because he had given a small kick to a girl and that had to mean that he 'enjoyed touching her'.

So, compared to that, Kagome did not think that she was jealous.

And now, she was proved to be wrong.

Very wrong.

She glared at The Girl across the fire, biting her lower lip, and completely absorbed in her thoughts. Way too absorbed to realize the worried glances exchanged by Sango, Miroku and Shippo, all equally worried about her well-being. Even Kirara could tell there was something weird in the air.

In fact, the only two who didn't seem to notice it were Inuyasha and The Girl. Hana.

* * *

It had all started the day before. Not that there had been anything special with that day, from their point of view. They had heard about a Jewel shard, so they'd gone there to take care of it and had found themselves facing a very strong, winged demon.

A Tuesday, basically.

This particular demon had lead them back to his den, where they had finally managed to kill him, only to find Hana, who had been kidnapped by the demon, presumably to be eaten, so that meant that they, and particularly Inuyasha, as he had done most of the work, had saved her life. Still pretty common for them. It happened all the time.

What was new about it was Hana's reaction.

Instead of screaming 'demon' when she had seen Inuyasha and needing Miroku's reassurance that he wasn't dangerous, she had apparently decided that he was her knight in a shiny armor — or her half-demon in a red suikan, whatever.

Since then, things had been… complicated.

The group had decided to bring her back home, and Kagome thought it was a _great_ idea. That way, she could be protected from not only demons, but also eventual bandits. She had been the first to insist on doing it, even though Inuyasha hadn't seemed all that pleased with the group's decision. Something about 'wasting time', 'Naraku', that sort of things.

At first, Kagome had only been happy that there was finally someone who treated Inuyasha normally. Sure, she was there, and there were Miroku and Sango as well, but it was different. It never happened with people who they met for the first time, and she thought it was awesome that he met more people who accepted it as he was. She had even noticed how impressed the girl was, and that hadn't made her jealous. She had thought it was normal and it had amused her a little.

She hadn't started to get annoyed until the first pause they had made that day, to eat. She had been the one to distribute food, as she always did, and they had all started to eat. She had been delighted to have someone else join their small group, even if it was only for a short time, until…

"Say, Inuyasha, could I ride with you this afternoon?"

Something had frozen in the air at that exact moment, and Kagome had slowly looked up from her food, her expression that can best be described by the words "Bitch, _what_?" Had she paid attention to it, she would have noticed the horrified glances exchanged by Miroku and Sango, and how Shippo started to eat slower, ready for some entertainment.

"Ha?" Inuyasha muttered, completely oblivious to the situation. "Kagome rides with me! Why would ya want that anyway?"

Hana shot him a bright smile.

"But it's not really fair if Kagome's the _only one_ who gets to be with you, is it?"

Kagome stared at her in total disbelief. That girl wasn't for real, was she?

Inuyasha shot her an almost desperate look, as though he was waiting for her to say something, and she blinked. After what Hana had just said, she didn't want to look like she was monopolizing Inuyasha or anything, but at the same time, she didn't want to give up her spot. She enjoyed riding with Inuyasha. It allowed them to have a physical proximity they rarely shared, and and… and she liked that and she wasn't going to feel ashamed of it.

"Well," she said, clearing her throat, "I guess if Inuyasha doesn't mind…"

Inuyasha frowned at her answer and folded his arms, his ears drooping almost imperceptibly.

"Keh. Then if the wench doesn't care…"

Wait, was he making this about _her_? What was she supposed to say exactly? Go full, well, _him_ on Hana like he did with Koga? Inuyasha didn't _belong_ to her, she wasn't going to force him to do anything!

Still, she couldn't help the feeling of uneasiness that cut like a knife when Hana climbed on Inuyasha's back, all giggling and… _Ugh_!

* * *

The day had ended with her and Inuyasha in a weird place. Hana had sat next to Inuyasha, and insisted on cooking for them when he brought back some pheasants he had hunted for dinner.

And she was a great cook. God.

She had sat next to him and made jokes and Kagome had barely managed to _talk to him_.

She kept telling herself that she had no right to get annoyed. Sure, her and Inuyasha were… er… Whatever they were, probably boyfriend and girlfriend by her modern standards, but that didn't mean she could stop him from talking to people, even if people were pretty nice girls who really liked him.

That didn't stop her from going to bed with a heavy heart.

She was surprisingly excited when she woke up the next day. She guessed she'd have to 'share' — _bad, Kagome, bad, Inuyasha isn't yours to share_ — Inuyasha for another day, but she was surprisingly happy at the thought that she'd get to ride with him again now, even though it had been something she could normally do all the time.

She walked towards him with a bright smile, and she noticed the surprise on his face when she did. It was almost like he thought that the reason why she hadn't come with him the day before was because she was mad at him — but surely there was no way that was the case, was it?

She slipped her hand inside his, opened her mouth to say something and…

"Inuyasha! I was thinking I could come with you today as well?"

Kagome's smile vanished brutally as she turned towards Hana who was walking towards them with exactly the same happiness that Kagome had been wearing merely seconds ago.

"Miss Kagome," she added on an apologetic tone as Kagome's hand slipped out of Inuyasha's, "I'm sure you understand. We'll reach my village tomorrow, and I wish to spend as much time with Inuyasha as I can."

Opening her mouth was almost _painful_. "You shouldn't be asking me," she said with a forced smile. "This is Inuyasha's decision."

"Keh. Why not."

And maybe, just maybe she was imagining it, but Inuyasha didn't seem all too happy with the situation either. Which did make her feel a little better. They were just playing nice with Hana for now, they'd soon find themselves together again. It was just a matter of time.

* * *

Now though, as she looked at how Hana was talking with Inuyasha when she couldn't, Kagome was starting to find that this time was moving a little too slowly for her, and it made her ask herself questions that didn't really help.

For example, what if this was all Inuyasha saw in her? Had he… fallen in love or whatever his feelings for her were exactly only because she was pretty much the first one to treat him normally? Then what would he do now? Did he see anything else in her?

The thought made her heart clench painfully in her chest, and she closed her eyes, trying to push the pain away.

"Kagome, are ya alright?"

She opened her eyes, to see Inuyasha quickly walking around the fire towards her.

Miroku and Sango exchanged a determined nod. This was their chance. Swiftly, while Inuyasha pressed his clawed hand against Kagome's forehead, trying to estimate whether or not she was ill, they took place on either side of Hana.

"Hana, my dear…" Miroku started, which resulted in Sango shooting him a dark glance. "See, my _dearest_ Sango here and I were thinking we should warn you. Our friends Inuyasha and Kagome, they are, ah, how should I put that…"

"They're engaged," Sango said, cutting short to his rambling. Maybe it wasn't completely true, but in her opinion, it was close enough. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that they would end up getting married at some point — ideally, once Inuyasha would have gotten his shit together, like another man she could think of right now.

"They _are_?" Hana asked in disbelief. "But Inuyasha only said it was 'complicated'! He even stated that he didn't know if he would be able to spend his life with her!"

Miroku felt like face-palming _so hard_ right now. Leave it to Inuyasha to say all sorts of stuff without realizing the consequences it could have when you didn't know the full situation. Hm, this wasn't easy. How could he go around explaining 'yeah but he only said that because he doesn't know if his ex will want to drag him to hell with her when she dies'?

"He is right," Sango said, going straight to the point once again, "but it's still a fact that if things go as they should, him and Kagome are going to end up together."

Much to Miroku's horror, Hana's eyes filled with tears at those words. He was about to comfort her, when he saw her shaking her head and looking up with determination.

"I won't give up," she decided. "My feelings are strong, and…"

Sango rolled her eyes and stopped listening. Yeah, it was her problem then, if she wanted to keep going. Part of her understood wanting to go after someone even if they were unattainable, but at the same time, she couldn't help but getting annoyed on Kagome's behalf.

Oh well, she decided, watching Kagome who was trying to get Inuyasha to stop fussing around her, those two would manage it. They always did. It would all be fine in the end.

* * *

"…and so, I'd like to offer you my daughter's hand."

Okay, she hadn't seen that coming.

Sango's eyes went from Inuyasha's shocked face, to Hana's hopeful eyes, to Kagome's horrified expression, to Miroku who was… Oh, God, the man was having _fun_.

In the morning, Inuyasha had decided to carry Kagome, insisting that she hadn't looked too good the day before and that this way he would be able to keep an eye on her, and to be honest, seeing Kagome blushing like a… well, like the teenager that she was had warmed her heart. It made her feel like an old lady to be thinking that, but she was happy that her friend got to experience parts of life that were normal for their age.

Hana had seemed saddened by his decision, but had respected it nonetheless. When they arrived at her village, she insisted on introducing Inuyasha to her father, and Sango had never seen her friend look that much like a cornered animal. After a rather long conversation, Inuyasha practically came running back to the group, and he had only had the time to whisper "We're leaving, _now_ ," when the man, who had turned out to be the village's headman, had come up to him.

And had asked him to marry his daughter.

Inuyasha gaped at him for a few moments, before finally expressing his feelings with a bewildered "But _why_?"

"Oh, Inuyasha," Hana sighed, "I wanted to tell you my feelings earlier, but I didn't get the occasion!"

Inuyasha stared at them for a few moments. Sure, he was surprised that they didn't seem to have any problem with him being a half-demon, and maybe he was even a little flattered by Hana's feelings, but…

He glanced back at Kagome. Her lack of reaction had pissed him off a little, but right now, she looked somewhere between fuming and… and terrified.

Did she think he would _agree_?

His first reaction was anger: how little did she trust him?

But then, as he remembered some of the far less than brilliant things he had done, something else emerged. How badly had he fucked up for her to think that he would even _consider_ being with another woman than her? That he'd be _interested_?

"That ain't gonna happen," he growled, and he felt a strange guilt in him when Hana's eyes filled with tears.

"But why not?" she asked, clearly holding back her sobs.

"'cause the only person I want to marry is that girl over there," Inuyasha answered, pointing back at Kagome but not daring to look at her. His life wasn't his to give away, although that was something he tended to stop considering as soon as she was in danger. But if he had a choice, it would be her. Always and forever.

He hadn't asked her what she thought about it, didn't think it was fair to do so as long as he couldn't promise her anything himself, but if he had the chance, if he asked, he would respect her decision, whatever it was. If, when this was over, she wanted to live in her era and if she let him, he'd follow her. If she decided she didn't want them to get married, he would be content just staying at her side.

He'd take anything she would give him. And if she didn't give him anything, well… He'd live with that.

He quickly bid Hana and her father goodbye, doing his best to ignore the girl's cries, and him and the group left, without a word being exchanged between them.

* * *

It wasn't until the end of the day, under the moonlight, when Kagome came to sit next to him, that Inuyasha let himself relax, even if just a little. It had been a weird day for him. When Kagome had been on his back afterwards, he had had that strange impression that she was even closer to him than she usually was. He didn't know why. Maybe it was the way she rested her head on his shoulders, or how her arms were around him, holding him closely. Maybe he was the one who gripped her thighs a little tighter than usual. Maybe they both wanted to be closer at the moment.

"I was jealous," Kagome confessed after a few moments of silence.

"Keh! Sure didn't show it," he mumbled. "It almost looked like you didn't give a shit."

Kagome giggled a little at that. "Why, just because I didn't try to kill her? Maybe you should take that as an example on how to behave around Koga…"

Inuyasha grinned. "Yeah, count on that."

Then, there was a little silence, before…

"But _why_ would ya be jealous? What, you thought I'd just dump you for the first girl who's not a complete bitch to me?"

That was… Surprisingly close to the truth, so Kagome did not answer, and Inuyasha scoffed at her guilty silence.

"I didn't chose you just because of what you've done for me. Yeah, you're the first, but that's not… There's more…" Fuck, now he was struggling to put this into words.

She smelled better than anyone else. When she smiled, it made her eyes shine. When she woke up, her hair were all messy and tangled and it was so fucking cute and he wanted to wake up to that sight every day. Sometimes, she talked about how much she hated that demon called 'maths' and he wanted to fight it for her, but apparently he couldn't. She looked so happy when she was able to help people. She was so _kind_ , to everyone, and even to people who didn't deserve it. She…

It wasn't just because of what she had done for him. It would be a lie to say that it didn't help, that it didn't make him feel better, but— but that's just wasn't it. There was _so much more_ to Kagome than what she had done for it.

And he just couldn't explain it, because there was no way that she'd just tell her all that. But it would be unfair to her to just leave her in the dark, not to tell her anything. So he tried.

"You're not just important because of that. You're important because of who you are. You're… You're Kagome. And outside of the things you've done for me… That's who I care about."

' _Who I love_.'

Kagome's eyes widened, and she found herself blushing at his words. Inuyasha was very pointedly not looking at her, and she guessed he was embarrassed as well.

"So," he mumbled, "you're not gonna say anything?"

Kagome giggled softly and rested her head on his shoulder. Ever so slowly, Inuyasha moved his arm so it would be around her waist, bringing her just a little closer to him. She tensed against him, but then she moved and gently brushed her lips against his cheek.

"Yes. You're the only man I want to marry too." She settled herself more comfortably against him, until she was sitting in his lap, and naturally, both of his arms found their place around her.

"Mind if I stay there?" she asked, sleepily.

"Keh. You have some nerve. Alright."

Truth was, he would like it very much if she was to stay there, to stay with him, forever.

* * *

 _Fun fact: "he kicked you because he likes to touch you" is something a jealous girlfriend once told me. That does exist. Please leave a review and let me know if you've enjoyed this!  
_


	19. Conquest — Kogaya

Summary: Koga messed up, and Ayame's going to make him work to get her back. Fortunately, wolf-boy has more than one trick up his sleeve. Unfortunately, Ayame isn't impressed easily.

Word count: 1,300

* * *

Conquest

The first thing he offered her were flowers.

Ayame looked at the bunch of flowers that had apparently been thrown at the entrance of her den during the night, and although at first a small smile appeared on her face, she soon pulled herself together, and gave a ferocious snarl at the gift.

Did Koga actually think it would be this easy? That she would forgive him for forgetting his promise and trying to get another woman to be with him because he gave her _flowers_? Because that was _not_ going to happen. Not only did she have her pride, but that certainly didn't make him worthy. Plus, he hadn't even tried to get her _her_ flowers.

She had been more than impressed when she had learned that he had obtained the Goraishi. She knew for a fact that the wolves-ghosts were inflexible, and would only have let someone trustworthy have the weapon. However, this was already the reason why she had decided to let him have a second chance. If the best he could do was _flowers_ , and if he stopped at her refusal, he didn't deserve her.

With a sway of her hips, she went back into the cave, ignoring the offering.

A little further, under the wind, Koga frowned. What was she doing? Sure, he'd heard the snarl, but this — this was _nice_ , wasn't it? What was wrong with her? He could tell that she had been pleased, as he damn thought she should be. He didn't do that stuff. He didn't give people things, he didn't go through the trouble of picking them.

He wasn't hurt by her rejection, he was just pissed. But he had decided he wanted this woman, and he was going to get her.

Koga wasn't one to take 'you're not good enough for me' as an answer.

He would fucking _become_ good enough.

* * *

The second time, he left her a dead deer.

It would probably have been morbid to a human, but Ayame was at least a _little_ impressed. Did he know that deer meat was her favorite? Or did he just want to get her a prey that had probably been at least a little hard to kill?

Meat was good, meat was useful, and she appreciated it. Still, it didn't quite make him deserve to have her back. It did bring a genuine smile to her face though, and Koga, perched in a tree further down like the time before, grinned.

His grin turned into a frown when Ayame took the meat and walked back into her den, without inviting him to follow after her.

Still not enough, huh? But he was winning her over, little by little.

The third time would be right.

* * *

The third time _almost_ made him lose all chance to get with her. If she had been Kagome, she would have made it clear that she never, ever, wanted to see him again after that. Being Ayame, a wolf-demon and grand-daughter of a powerful pack leader, she kinda understood where he was coming for.

That being said, finding the head of a rival pack's leader in front of her den wasn't something she wanted to happen again. Like, ever.

She didn't scream when she came out. It wasn't her style to scream, and it wasn't the first time she saw a dead person, of course. While part of her was a little disgusted, the main thing that made her hate it was the _insult_.

 _She_ could kill her enemies herself! She didn't need anyone to do it _for_ her! What did that wolf think? Did he expect her to be his female, to bear his kids and nothing else? If he wanted her by his side, he would have to know that she'd be his equal. And as his equal, she'd fight her own fights.

With a ferocious growl, she kicked the head away from her.

Koga got the message immediately, and felt a strange pang in his chest as she rejected his gift. He waited for a few seconds, wondering if the insult had been too great and if she would forbid him to keep courting her, but it didn't come, although Ayame seemed to hesitate for a few seconds at the entrance of her den.

He felt relief once she got back in, and soon, he was smiling again, brightly. What a woman that woman was. He would be proud to have her by his side, to share his pack with her, and to give her just as much power as he would have.

He _wanted_ her. No— He didn't just want her. He had wanted Kagome, had respecter her greatly and had wanted her powers and her ability to search for Jewel shards. There was even a little something more, when the priestess helped him with his wounds or spoke to him kindly. With Ayame, it was… It was that something more, but much, _much_ stronger.

He liked it.

Which was why he _would_ win her over.

* * *

"That's not how you're supposed to do that stuff, Koga," Ayame groaned, even though she let him lead her into the mountains.

It even made her a bit nostalgic, for the two of them to be walking under the moonlight like this. Of course, times had changed. She wasn't a young, impressionable girl anymore. He wasn't carrying her on his back either. They were two adults.

Still, it was a beautiful, starry night, and she appreciated that. Was that the reason why he was doing that? As a final gift?

"We're here," he finally said, having remained silent for most of their small trip — otherwise talking only to tease her on her speed or to compliment her on her climbing abilities.

Ayame rolled her eyes, but followed him as he stepped into an unknown cave. It wasn't a surprise that she didn't know about it. She may have grown up on these mountains, but there was still more to see than she could have, especially considering the fact that she had always been training.

She soon heard sounds of water, and it made her realize where they were, probably. She did know all the sources here, because they could always be useful.

Her eyes fell on Koga's back as he walked in front of her. She could tell he was triumphant, and although it annoyed her a little, the truth was she liked how confident he was.

Finally, he stopped, and took a step aside to let her enjoy the view. Ayame did her best to school her features, but failed miserably the second she saw where he had taken her.

There was a huge waterfall there, and from what she could see, it probably came out of the mountain only to go back underground, coming out a little further. That was not what was the most impressive though. No, it was that they were _under_ said waterfall, and apparently some sort of tube had been created there, probably by years and years of erosion, and the moon fell right on them, and it kinda looked like…

"A lunar rainbow," Ayame whispered.

She turned to Koga slowly, to find him grinning widely. He had won and he knew it.

Her pride kind of wanted to make her turn her back on him, but at the same time she wondered how long he had looked for a place like this.

"I don't want war," Ayame warned, taking a step towards him. "I want peace, and I want to unify all the wolves tribes."

Koga nodded. "Sounds like a plan."

"I want…"

Koga's arm slid around her waist, yanking her against him.

"I want _you_."

She wanted him too.

So when he leaned in to kiss her, she made sure _she_ kissed him first.


	20. Hers — SessKagu

Summary: It's time for the final battle, and Kagura is there to fight with them all. The question remains, though, of how she will use her freedom afterwards, if they make it out of here. SessKagu.

Word count: 1,097

* * *

Hers

She was standing there, right by his side, during the final battle. She was complaining, of course, but he could tell there was fear in her voice and in her attitude as she fought just as hard as anyone else, although she did her best not to show it.

No one knew what would happen, once Naraku would be defeated. Would she survive it? She was her own person, with her own existence, and yet she doubted it. She was still a part of _him_ , no matter how much it disgusted her. She was the last of her kind, too, in a way, as she had told them, a bit contemptuous, that Byakuya wasn't independent enough to be considered a 'person'.

Naraku hadn't reproduced his mistake. She and Kanna had been early creations, and they had been much more than they should have.

Kanna. The real, the main reason why Kagura was fighting now. She could have been away, in the wind, _free_ , but no, the memory of the girl, of her sister, kept weighing her down.

She'd get revenge for her, even if it was the last thing she did.

When Naraku fell, there was a second when she held her breath, and even if Sesshomaru didn't say a word, barely even glanced in her direction, for just one second, if not less, an emotion that was completely new to him crept in his heart. He recognized it a little too late, with some mild surprise and disgust.

Fear.

He had feared seeing her dying — or thinking she was dying — again. He had thought that this time, Tenseiga wouldn't be able to bring her back, no matter how long he had to fight the Underworld's demons for.

Last time, it had taken him days to bring her soul back from hell, as he refused to accept what was normally immutable. Sesshomaru had never been one to tolerate those sort of things. If there was a rule that stopped him from doing something, he'd change it, or he'd make it bend.

But he hadn't been able to bring Rin back a second time, and although he would probably have taken _her_ body to his mother, to ask her to perform her magic once again, he hadn't been able to stop the feeling.

However Kagura started to laugh, and next thing she knew, she was flying in the air, an ecstatic look on her face as she rode the air, her arms open.

Soon, he wasn't able to see her anymore, and he frowned.

She was gone.

She was as free as the wind, as she had always wanted, and now she was gone, because there was nothing left tying her down to this place, to this world.

He didn't like that.

He watched, motionless, as his brother decided to go after the priestess, and decided he had done more than enough here.

It was time for him to go. He didn't have any intention of staying among humans longer than necessary. He considered for a second getting his revenge on the demon slayer who had tried to kill Rin, but decided to forget about it. There wasn't any point in it. The girl had nearly died, and it wasn't his business anymore.

He took a step to walk away, when a voice stopped him.

"Leaving already?" There was some amusement in her voice, as always a little deep for a woman, but very sultry as well.

He hadn't seen her coming back. Nor smelled her. He turned around, finding her perched on a rock, observing him. She grinned, identifying his silent and icy look as surprise. She was starting to know him.

"I got under the wind, so you wouldn't smell me," she said as though it was a wonderful joke. "I thought I'd at least said goodbye."

So she was leaving. He'd have rather she just did that, instead of dragging this on. He had no idea what this woman wanted, and truth be told, it was starting to get on his nerve, in a way few people could get away with without being killed. Yet, he felt no urge to kill her. He just looked at her. If she had something to say, she should just say it.

Understanding he wouldn't answer her, Kagura rolled her eyes. Yeah, okay, maybe she'd hoped he'd ask her not to. Oh well.

She took a step towards him, and, using her powers on the wind to levitate just high enough, ran her fingers on his cheeks, following his jaw, before kissing him in the most sensual way. She slid her tongue in his mouth, enjoying the taste of him, but enjoying even more the fact that he wasn't pushing her back. He wasn't particularly enthusiastic either, but it was still a victory.

Behind them, Jaken gasped, horrified. How did that woman, who wasn't even a— a _real_ demon, _dare_ touching Lord Sesshomaru?

Kagura went back on the ground and stepped back again, licking her lips smugly.

Sesshomaru's eyes were fixated on her, and she almost shivered when she noticed his dilated pupils.

"I'll be gone for a long time. Will you wait?"

Jaken _shrieked_ , and practically fainted when his Lord didn't instantly put the woman in her place. Instead he kept observing her, like a cat after a mouse.

Although 'like a cat who'd fallen in love with a mouse' sounded a little more accurate.

"I won't forget you," he answered calmly.

Kagura grinned.

Next thing they knew, she was gone, high in the sky, on the wind.

She was free.

Sesshomaru watched her until she had disappeared.

* * *

It took her years to come back. She travelled through the entire world, stayed a few months in some places, mostly the ones that were far away from humans, and then went back to him.

He had been waiting. Not that he'd had any interest in anyone who would have made him want _not_ to wait.

When she landed in front of him, he didn't seem surprised. He watched her intensely, and even though he didn't notice it, he was the one who took the first step towards her. She ran into his arms, almost desperately, and almost immediately, he lifted her in his arms. She was as light as a feather.

He walked to his castle, holding tightly against him.

She was there. Finally.

"Did you miss me?" Kagura whispered in his ear, a teasing echo in her voice.

He didn't answer that. But it was true, and they both knew it.


	21. Name

Summary: Inuyasha likes it when Kagome says his name — even though he never liked his name all that much before.

Word count: 1,557

* * *

Name

He liked it when she said his name.

He had never liked his name too much. It was too weird, it made it too easy to tell _what_ he was. He wasn't too sure why his parents named him like that — never asked, and then it was too late. But with that name, even on new moons, he was pretty sure people would understand, or be suspicious, and that could result in getting him killed.

Not that he ever tried it, 'cause he was never willing to take the risk. It wasn't that he enjoyed being alive all that much, it was just that he did it out of spite. It really pissed them off how strong he was, how much stronger than most of them even though he was just a half-demon, a half-breed as they said.

So yeah, Inuyasha stayed alive out of spite.

To be honest, no one used his name for years. It's not like he introduced himself, or like people wanted to know it. So he was used to people calling him other stuff — half-breed, and then all sorts of colorful nicknames around his dog part.

She used his name immediately. She never used his birth to insult him, to make fun of him.

At first, he didn't think much of it. He just wanted to get this over with; get the Jewel complete and then find a way to steal it from here. It wouldn't be as complicated as it had been with Kikyo, because that girl knew nothing about demons, and he certainly wouldn't let anyone sweet-talk him into anything again. He didn't even want to be human, hated every single night he spent in that form. He had no idea what he was thinking back then, with the way he hadn't wanted her around him for a second longer than needed.

And then he had.

Of course he had. He couldn't _not_. Not with the way she looked at him, not with her smell, not with her voice. Not with her kindness, the simple way she accepted him into her life, not as a freak, a monster, something that shouldn't exist. Not with the way she said his name.

Maybe it would have annoyed someone else to hear her call for him during battle, but to be honest, he wasn't much better, and that was something he _liked_. Because it meant that she was alive, and also because… Well, because more often than not, it was because she _cared_ about him. It wouldn't have meant much for someone else, but to him? To him it was the _world._

Sure, Miroku had to joke about it, ask how he thought that would sound in, erm, _different circumstances_. He hadn't thought about it before, and he'd hit the pervert for that — asshole, like this was a discussion they should be having.

But he had to admit, it had been on his mind afterwards, a couple of times, or possibly more than that.

She had disappeared, left for what he had thought might very well be forever, before he had been able to muster up the courage to get closer to her. He had cursed himself for it, wished she had known how much he loved her. This time, Miroku had told him she did, that it was obvious in every way.

Still, he wished he'd _said_ something, _done_ something.

It had all changed when she had come back, _especially_ the way she said his name. He was used to her being angry, or to her being worried about him. They didn't fight much anymore, and the main object of their conflicts was gone, so their relationship slowly evolved.

She said his name in a softer way, and he wondered if there had always been such affection in her voice when said it, if he had just never noticed it for whatever reason.

Then there had been the way she'd breathed it out when they had kissed.

"Inuyasha…" Needy. Pleading. Incredibly soft.

He had claimed her mouth again, swallowing her moan, pressing her closer to him. He had then left her lips, trailing kisses on her neck, with the strangest curiosity he had ever felt.

She had called his name breathlessly, entangling her fingers in his hair, one of her hands grabbing his ear, making him pause for a second.

He looked up; their eyes met.

She smiled, and in that smile he could see his name. He'd never learned how to read, but he could still tell.

"Kagome…"

* * *

She liked it when he said her name.

At first, she had liked it because it had felt like something she had had to earn. It had taken him a while to call her by her name, and there was a little bit of pride in the fact that she had made him say it. Also, even though she never called him out on it, she did feel like she had beaten him, in a way — and she absolutely had, beating down his defenses without really trying, just by being there.

She hadn't given it much thought until she had realized that she was slightly uncomfortable with Koga calling her in the same way. Then, she had thought about how Hojo never called her Kagome, or how everyone else used honorifics. It was normal, of course, but she realized that she really, really liked that Inuyasha didn't. It made her feel closer to him.

She liked it.

Then, her name had started to feel like a burden.

Her name was the _other_ name. It wasn't _her_ name. It marked the difference, and as much as she hated being compared to her, as much as she hated being told that she looked 'just like her', or even talking about her, there were times when she almost _wished_ she was. Wished they had the same name, wished they were the same person.

Maybe that way, it would stop hurting _so damn much_.

There had even been a time when she had hated it when he said her name, with a passion. That had been right after _her_ death. He had started saying her name with such sadness, and then he had had that talk about always protecting her, and she had _loved_ that, she had, in every way, but…

It was all because of _her_ , wasn't it? It was all because he didn't have her anymore, all because he couldn't say her name.

She hated the sadness in his voice, as much as because it meant that he was sad, and she wanted to protect him from that in every way possible, as because as long as he was sad for Kikyo, there was no way he could be happy with her.

These had been dark days. Hours spent hating herself for disliking it, cursing at herself for not letting him be sad, telling herself how terrible a person she was if she couldn't accept that he was mourning. Thinking that she shouldn't be feeling that.

But she _was_.

And she couldn't stop it, and she couldn't change it, and she hated herself even more for that.

It would take her time to realize how wrong she was, and even though she had hated every moment she had spent away from him, she thought she probably wouldn't have understood that if it wasn't for this time.

Kikyo's death hadn't pushed Inuyasha in her arms, it had _let_ _him_ get into her arms. Given him the possibility. He hadn't felt forced, she hadn't been his second choice.

She had been his _choice_. He just only had been able to make it then.

When she'd come back, she paid attention to the way he said her name again. She had missed it, and she had missed being happy to hear him say it.

She had almost turned into a blushing mess the first time.

He said her name a lot, actually. He often made sure she was around like that, even though he was perfectly able to smell her without asking.

She liked it. She liked his voice — she was pretty sure it had deepened over the years they'd spent apart but it was a nice change. She liked the protectiveness of it, liked that he called for her.

"Ka-kagome?"

She moved away from him hesitantly, her eyes searching for his. She hadn't meant to kiss him, it had just — it had just happened. She licked her lips, trying to read his feelings but only able to find surprise on his face.

"I…"

"You could, erm, do that again?"

Her eyes widened, and then she saw how tense he was. Was he trying to make sure that it wasn't a mistake? What, did she think she'd slipped and fell with her mouth on his?

Despite herself, she smiled, and pressed her lips against his again. She felt his body relax, and his chest rumbled under her palm when she moved away.

"Kagome."

It was the first time he'd said her name with such possessiveness, like he would have said 'Mine', but it would be far from the last time. She smiled as he pressed his forehead against hers, as his hands moved around her to grab the small of her back.

She responded with the exact same tone, the same possessiveness.

"Inuyasha."


	22. Fun

Summary: Kagome's working and she needs to take a break. Fortunately, Inuyasha is here to provide a distraction, but he seems to be deep in unhappy thoughts. Well, she's going to snap him out of it. And what's better for that than a pillow fight?

Based on a suggestion by the great Keichanz on Tumblr!

Word count: 1,339

* * *

Fun

The room was way too silent, and it made her nervous.

Sure, originally, she had been the one to complain when he had entered through the window, because she needed to work — she really, _really_ needed to start working for her exams. But instead of fighting with her, like she had expected him to and, maybe, wanted him to, he had grunted something and had sat down on her bed.

She had been so surprised that she hadn't even thought of complaining about his feet or something. With a huff, she had decided that it was for the better, and she had started to work.

That was about an hour ago. Technically, right now was the best moment to take a break. Kagome knew her usual rhythm, and while some of her friends could work for hours at a time, namely Hojo, she just couldn't. She had tried to force herself, but after too long her brain just felt like nothing could enter it anymore.

Which meant that, right now, she should be making a ten-minutes pause, eat something, maybe listen to one or two songs, and then get back into it.

 _However_ , with Inuyasha sitting on her bed like that, she had the feeling that should she get up, she'd get the usual 'Are you done yet? Can we go back?' even though she already had the three-days pass from him. She didn't want to fight.

She glanced at him quickly, wondering if he was watching her, and frowned at what she found. Not only was Inuyasha not watching her, he was simply staring at the ground, his mouth curved downwards. It wasn't in his usual annoyed, angry way either, or she wouldn't have worried too much. No, he actually looked… sad. Lifeless.

Biting her lower lip, she turned back to her books, though she didn't focus on it, her mind instead searching for whatever could be making him feel like that. The answer was obvious, surfacing immediately, and she felt a tug at her heart as she found it. Kikyo. They'd seen her again, not too long ago. It had to be it, though she stayed as far as possible from conclusions based on that. It hurt far too much to think about it.

She glanced at him again, and frowned. She didn't like seeing him like that. It didn't feel natural and… And she didn't like to see him hurt.

Also, she couldn't work on that shit a second longer and she really, really needed some distraction.

So, ever so slowly, like you would if some predator was watching you, she reached out.

For a pillow, which Inuyasha had unceremoniously thrown to the ground to have more space.

She had said she didn't want to fight? Well, she took that back.

Let's fucking fight.

"Hey!"

Inuyasha took a second longer than usual to react at Kagome's voice, and he looked up, shaking his head as to push away all the thoughts he had been plunged in. Some were about Kikyo, sure, but most were about Kagome.

About how he didn't want to leave her side. Ever. Not even by dying.

And about how he _had_ to.

Maybe it was that second that made it so he couldn't dodge nor catch the pillow Kagome had thrown at him, and it hit him, surprisingly precisely, right in the face.

Well, guessed she _had_ made progress at aiming, huh?

With a scowl, he pushed it out of his face.

"What the fuck d'ya think…"

His eyes widened when he saw that Kagome had jumped on the bed, grabbed her second pillow — the one she actually slept on and that he hadn't pushed away because it smelled like her — and, again, hit him in the face with it.

Okay. She wanted to play? They were going to play.

He grabbed the first pillow, and watched as Kagome jumped back with all the skills of an older sister who has had a lot of training on her little brother. She watched him carefully, her heart beating faster than it should have. This was a stupid idea. Inuyasha was faster and stronger than her. If he didn't watch himself, she could get hurt, badly, even with just a pillow.

But… but she trusted him. So instead of worrying much about it, she threw him a cocky smile.

"Keh! Think you're up for it?" he asked, grinning.

Kagome shrugged, not willing to let him make her lose focus that easily.

Inuyasha's smile widened.

And then he attacked.

It wasn't like Kagome had much of a chance to begin with, but Inuyasha still found it quite impressive, the way she dodged his attack and immediately riposted. He wasn't sure how nor why she was good at this, but still, it was a skill.

The fight did longer than any of them expected it to. He was, actually, extremely careful with his strength — and she was much better than he could have ever predicted.

Also, this was _fun_. He had no desire to make it end too quickly. Hearing her laugh, watching her cheeks reddening with the effort, and knowing she was enjoying this, that she could be having that sort of fun with _him_ would have been more than enough, but he was actually having a good time. Sure, he needed to control himself, but it wasn't _that_ hard.

Still, he wasn't going to _lose_ that. If there was one thing Inuyasha didn't like, after all, it definitely was losing.

With a quick kick, he managed to make her drop the pillow. He saw the surprise in her eyes, the moment when she _knew_.

That's when he hit her.

While it definitely wasn't strong enough to actually hurt her, the blow did send her tumbling backwards, and she would have fallen on the bed hadn't his arm snaked around her waist, bringing her against him.

He leaned towards her, and her heartbeat quickened again.

Until he whispered in her ear "I won."

She tried to push him back playfully, but Inuyasha held her against him with an amused laugh, and she stopped to listen to it, almost in amazement.

That was so rare. She had seen him smile a few times, whether it was smirks or, more rarely, genuine smiles. But to hear him laugh? That was almost a miracle to her. The sound was brief and a bit hoarse, almost like Inuyasha wasn't too sure how to make it.

"So, y're done with your thing?" he then asked, his ears perking up.

Riiiight. Work.

Kagome groaned and buried her head in his chest, making him effectively freeze, although she didn't notice it.

"Um… K-Kagome?"

It wasn't that he didn't enjoy having her in his arms, because he fucking did, but she was just… close. And it made him feel all sorts of strange things that he didn't know how to handle.

With a pained sigh, she pushed herself away from him.

"I have to get back to it," she mumbled. "I just really needed a distraction." _And so did you_.

He blinked a couple of times, and she briefly felt afraid that he would take it the wrong way. He didn't. Instead, he nodded. "Don't overwork yourself, will ya?"

She smiled, a warm feeling spreading through her chest. He was always there for her, wasn't he? Looking out for her. Making sure she was taken care of. Being…

"Otherwise ya'll have to stay here even longer and we won't be able to look for the Jewel shards without you."

Yes, of course. She rolled her eyes. "Gee, thank you Inuyasha."

He watched her sit back behind her desk with an annoyed growl, and couldn't help but smile again, discreetly, as he settled onto the bed again.

Promising himself that he'd be her distraction every time she would need one.

He didn't notice how she glanced back to see him smiling fondly, and how she went back to her work with a low giggle.

She sure was happy he was here.


	23. Surprise Kiss — Prompt — Mirsan

Summary: Miroku and Sango have that game, about who can make the other blush best... And neither of them has any intention to lose.

Word count: 778

* * *

It was like a game between them.

At first, it had been Miroku's idea, because he knew Sango would just be _so_ embarrassed if he kissed her in public. It had worked really, really well in the beginning, too well for him to consider stopping. As much as he loved his warrior of a wife, there was not much he enjoyed more than seeing her blushing and stuttering and knowing that he was the one to cause it and the _only_ one able to make her react like that.

What he hadn't planned for, though, was that Sango, precisely because she was a warrior, soon decided that she wasn't going to have that. So she decided that if was going to keep doing that, well, she'd one-up him.

The first time she managed to do it was unbelievably satisfying. Miroku wasn't overly sentimental, although she had no doubt he loved her. He showed it to her in multiple ways, whether it was in their house, when it was just the two of them, or in the daylight, with caring attentions. He was patiently helping her rebuilding herself after the horrifying events that had happened to all of them, making sure she wouldn't fall.

However when Sango kissed him by surprise while he was discussing his payment with a client, it was the first time she saw him actually blushing and stuttering. His pale skin suddenly reddened, his eyes widened, his arms moved to close around her… But no, she had already taken a step back, and with a teasing smile, she told him she'd be waiting at home for him, for his return.

It was a _three-days_ mission, and Miroku had never went through such _torture_ — and he had literally been dying because of poison that was slowly taking over his body.

He just wanted to get back to his wife. Not that he told Inuyasha about it, because he didn't want to rub his happiness in the half-demon's face, but even he noticed how out of it the monk was during the entire time.

It was one _hot_ night for the monk and the demon slayer.

After that, it was just a question of who'd manage to surprise the other, but also of how they'd get to them in a situation where it would actually be embarrassing for them. Because where was the fun if it didn't make them lose their composure?

That meant finding Sango as she was talking with other village women, or Miroku while he was with Kaede. That meant interrupting Sango when she was giving orders to prevent a demon's attack, or Miroku's flirty speech with young women in the village, although that last kiss was much more fierce and possessive than 'surprising'.

They were seriously starting to run out of ideas though, and it's at this point that Miroku discovered his wife taking a bath.

Grinning, he slid in the water behind her, and managed to get close enough to her to press a kiss on her shoulder.

He then dodged the Hiraikotsu, something he had become fairly good at doing thanks to all the involuntary training Sango had given him.

"You!" she protested, furious, as Miroku's carefree laugh rose into the air. "What on _earth_ do you think you're doing?"

He could already see her blushing though, and doing everything she could not to look at his body. He, on the other side, didn't hesitate to look, which she noticed and she crossed her arms on her chest with a outraged cry.

"My dear Sango," he coaxed her gently, "there's no reasons for us to be embarrassed. It's nothing you haven't seen… Or that _I_ haven't."

"Miroku!" she hissed, and much to his delight turned a deeper shade of red. "People could arrive here at any time!"

"They could," he purred, stepping closer to her, keeping his eyes on her lips.

Sango seemed to hesitate for a second, and then her lips came crashing against his while she grabbed her face in her hands. It took Miroku a second to realize what was happening — he hadn't expected her to be that, erm, agressive about it — but then his arms went around her waist as he tried to bring her closer…

Only to have his legs kicked from under him and to fall back in the water. By the time he got out, confused and unsure of what had happened, Sango was out and getting dressed. She flashed him a victory smile and, with a wink, disappeared in the trees, going back to the village.

Huh. They tied again then. Well, he'd be waiting for the next round _impatiently._

* * *

 _Reviews would be greatly appreciated! It is the only thing authors get out of their writing here, so if you enjoyed it, please let me know, it really helps keeping me writing!_


	24. I admire you

Summary: Written for a prompt. Inuyasha's bored watching Kagome getting prepared, and she takes the opportunity to tease him a bit.

Word count: 1,383

* * *

Inuyasha doubted there was anything that could be quite as boring as watching Kagome put on make-up and brush her hair. The hair thing, at least, he got. He had to say he even thought there was something strangely beautiful and fascinating about it, something he couldn't quite explain to himself.

But the make-up? He didn't like that shit. It wasn't even a 'he liked her when she was natural' type of thing. Inuyasha didn't see, nor think like that.

Kagome was Kagome. She was _always_ beautiful — even if he would sooner have his tongue ripped out than let her know he felt like that. That did make him think the thing was fucking useless though, and he didn't understand why she needed to do that. It was just a dumb waste of time.

He couldn't say he _completely_ disliked the red thing she put on her lips, but even then, and even though he had easily identified the smell of cherry that came from it, he disliked that it covered _her_ smell. Cherries were _nice_ , sure, but he could smell those whenever he wanted to. Kagome's smell, though, was… It was fucking intoxicating to him, alright? And he didn't like that he couldn't smell it directly.

Plus, if he ever was to kiss those lips… or her cheeks… Would it taste the same with that stuff on? How would he discover _her_ under that?

"I really admire that 'bout you, y'know."

Kagome blinked at her mirror while trying to correct her mascara. Had she heard that correctly?

"What did you say, Inuyasha?"

"I said I really admire that about ya. Y'can spend hours on those details, to get it to look _just_ right."

Kagome had to almost shake her head in disbelief. That sounded like a compliment but… She took the time to actually turn around, painfully aware of how unbalanced her eyes looked at the moment.

And sure enough, Inuyasha was staring at her. Grinning. She couldn't help but smile.

"Are you making fun of me?" she asked, though she already knew the answer all too well.

"Doesn't sound like something I'd do," he said, discreetly uncrossing his arms like he was getting ready for an attack. "Nah, it's just _really_ impressive…"

This time, there was _just_ enough sarcasm in his voice for Kagome to identify it clearly. Jumping to her feet, she walked towards him and put her hand on her hips.

"Aw, are you jealous?"

Something strange passed on Inuyasha's face. Something that said "wait, what?", "oh shit" and "how do I get out of this?" all at the same time. If he admitted he was making fun of her she'd get her revenge one way or another but this… This was probably already a revenge.

"Don't worry Inuyasha, I'll pay just as much attention to you!"

"No, Kagome, I really don't—"

But the young girl had already grabbed his hand and was dragging him towards her dressing table. He could easily have resisted, but the truth was, at this point, there was nothing he could refuse to the time traveller. He could and he _would_ complain, but he couldn't find it in him to purely telling her "no". So before he knew it, she was pushing on his broad shoulders to get him to sit down, and he let out a defeated sigh.

"No make-up, okay?" he growled.

Kagome pouted, but there was still a visible smile in her eyes.

It didn't have as much to do with the situation as it had to do with _him_ , though. Inuyasha had gone such a long way. To be able to have such an interaction with her, to be able to _tease_ her, without being a dick, and to react without getting too defensive around her… He had really improved, compared to how guarded he was before, hadn't he?

 _This_ was what she liked about the situation. It would have been a lie to say that she wouldn't enjoy torturing him just a little, but what really made her heart swell, what made her feel so giddy right now was to think about how much _better_ Inuyasha was. Not in the sense that he had been _made_ into something better — she was convinced that this part of him had been here all along. No, Inuyasha was better because he _felt_ better. About himself. He allowed himself to relax, around her at least, and even around others.

And that… It was wonderful. If she had contributed ever so slightly in that, Kagome knew she could be happy with herself.

"But Inuyasha, you'd look _so_ pretty with…"

"Don't call me pretty!" he snarled, glancing away. Kagome grinned again, having a perfect view of him thanks to the mirror and — was that a blush?

"Okay, okay," she sighed, retreating carefully, not wanting to make him run away with too much teasing. "Just the hair then?"

Inuyasha wanted to roll his eyes and refuse, but there was so much damn _hope_ in her voice… He was becoming fucking soft. And he didn't even mind.

"Just the hair."

Kagome squealed — _and it was the most adorable thing he had every heard, what the fuck was wrong with him_ — and enthusiastically grabbed her brush, humming lightly as she ran it through Inuyasha's hair. She had thought about it before, but he had fucking _fantastic_ hair… And his language was apparently rubbing off on her.

Inuyasha closed his eyes, losing himself in the soft, careful motions of the girl. She made sure not to hurt him, though it would have taken a lot more than her strength to do that, and maybe this was what got to him the most. Not the gesture, though he kinda appreciated it. It was the _care_. Kagome didn't treat him like a porcelain doll. She hadn't had much of a problem asking about his childhood back then. She treated him like he mattered to her.

He had forgotten how that felt.

He practically shivered as her fingers rubbed against his scalp while she entangled his hair with the same focus she gave to her own, if not more. She could sometimes be quite a brute with herself when she was in a hurry, to the point where he almost wanted to tell her not to hurt his wench so much. As Kagome's soft massage continued, he let the back of his head rest on her stomach.

"Inuyasha?"

He opened his eyes, and Kagome felt her breath catch in her throat with an intensity she didn't remember ever feeling before. She couldn't read his emotions; she was pretty sure her heart was going to explode; heat seemed to overtake her face; and she had never wanted to kiss someone that badly.

"Are you okay?" she managed to ask, hearing her voice like it wasn't her own.

"'m fine. It's just…"

He closed his eyes again and put his head back in a normal position. The instant was over, but Kagome's heart was still beating erratically, so loudly that she almost missed his next words.

"I'm happy I met you."

They were whispered under his breath, and she got the feeling that he didn't really want her to hear them. He wasn't quite ready yet, he wanted to tell that to her when he would be able to say it out loud — because that was what she _deserved_.

So she smiled, and he caught it in the mirror.

Kagome wasn't really ready either. There were tons of things going on, tons of things on her mind starting with Kikyo and what about her and how to deal with that and did he still love her and wouldn't she make a fool of herself if she told him she loved him and he didn't love her back. She was not in a place where she could take that risk just yet, because the answer could crush her, and she knew it.

For now though, they could both be satisfied with this. They were fifteen. They had all the time to figure that stuff out.

So Kagome went back to brushing his hair and humming, and Inuyasha closed his eyes again.

 _That's it_ , he thought.

More than Kagome's care, more than her kindness, this was it.

She just made it that simple.

* * *

 _Please leave a review if you have enjoyed this or any other story here — I would love to read them!_


	25. Opposites

_Inukag week, day one: Opposites_

* * *

"I'll protect you with my life."

He was leaning slightly towards her, holding her hand when the words left his mouth, and Kagome could only stare up at him silently. She noticed his eyes flickering to her lips, and she _should_ have been happy, and she _should_ have been wanting nothing more than exactly what it seemed was going to happen.

The truth was— she _did_. She _did_ want it. She'd wanted it for months. She had hoped he would make a move, she had hoped he would tell her something like that. There had even been a moment when she had thought that was where they were at, when she'd felt that this was the relationship they had.

So why the bitter taste in her mouth now?

Right. Because this was _now_.

Because she would have needed to hear it before.

Because now, there was no way for her to ignore how that sounded. She could try all she wanted to reason with it; she could tell herself that Inuyasha just felt free now, and that he had, after all, decided to stay rather than to follow Kikyo to hell, and that that had to count for something, but she couldn't just ignore how she _felt_ about it.

She did blame herself for said feelings; she always had. She blamed herself for being hurt by Inuyasha's words, _because why did you have to read so much into it_ _in the first place_ , she blamed herself for disliking Kikyo, _because everyone likes her so clearly the problem comes from you_ , she blamed herself for not being able to save her, _because if only you were better you could have_ , she blamed herself for being so insecure, _because who has power on your mind except for you._

 _Your fault. It's all your fault._

It wasn't like her. She hadn't said much about it, silently getting to resent herself more and more as time went by. She wasn't too sure why she reacted to it now of all times. She wasn't too happy about it either. She would have loved to be able to just lose herself with him right now. Would have loved to finally taste his lips.

But…

"It's because of Kikyo, isn't it?"

It wasn't much more than a whisper; she barely noticed she'd said it, but Inuyasha's eyes widened, and he pulled back, just a little, and she glanced away.

The moment was gone.

"Wha-what are you talking about?" When she didn't answer, he insisted. "Kagome?"

She closed her eyes tightly. She hated the worry, the insecurity in his voice. She hated knowing she was the cause of it. She should be the bigger person. She should recognize how hard his life had been, how he just didn't know any better, how he had always needed her and wanted her by his side and how it had only been his guilt and how it wasn't his fault.

But she couldn't.

Not anymore.

For the first time in a long time, her emotions, repressed since what felt like _forever_ , flew to the surface.

"I'm second best."

Saying it out loud almost immediately brought the tears to her eyes. She'd buried it so she wouldn't even _think_ about it, because God, it hurt. It hurt so much.

But then… it was true, wasn't it? It _had_ to be, right?

"You would never have said that if she was still here." The words were stumbling out of her mouth, in a hurry to finally be told. "You would never have picked me. You…"

"'s that how you've been feeling?"

She stopped to look at him. He looked… He looked unhappy. Sad, even. She nodded. Somehow, miraculously, the tears still hadn't spilled from her eyes.

He stared at her just a few seconds more. He would have done anything so she wouldn't cry — absolutely fucking anything — but he had no idea where to start. He'd thought that she'd known. He'd thought that through everything, all the shit they were going through, she had at least known. She was his first choice, forever and always, if only he'd had any, but that was the whole point. He didn't. He _had_ to do it for Kikyo, because it was his fault if she wasn't in this world anymore.

But he thought she had known he loved her through everything. Maybe it should have made him happy, that she had stayed with him despite believing he loved another woman, but it didn't. How could it? It would have driven him insane, if it had been him. He couldn't imagine the degree of pain she had experienced.

And it was all his fault.

"'s not… 's not like that. I wouldn't have been able to _tell_ you when Kikyo was alive, but you… y'know I would have died for you all the same, to save your life, right?"

She hesitated, then nodded slowly. Yes. Probably. But she hadn't read too much into it. It was like him to do that. There were many people out there he would probably have died to save, and it was something she admired about him. That didn't mean much. It meant he cared for her, and she knew that. If he didn't love her, she thought that, at least, she was his best friend, and that was better than nothing, though it wasn't what she wanted.

"'s not about Kikyo," he repeated with a little more strength. "'s not either about you being her reincarnation. You're… You're nothing alike."

She knew that. She thought she'd known that. But relief was flooding in her veins, and she realized then how much she'd needed to hear it.

"No one's made me feel like you," he mumbled, though at this point he wished he could have simply stopped talking. "You're not… You don't care for me in spite of being a half-demon. You care for me as a half-demon and I—I don't know if you even realize how much that means to me but…" He sighed, glancing away from her this time. There was no way he could say it out loud while looking at her. "I'd wanted to tell you this before." Then his voice almost turned to a whisper. "I thought you knew." He'd never wanted to hurt her. Never. "'s always been you."

She… She understood that. Well, part of her did anyway. She remembered what he'd told her at the very beginning of their adventure together. When he'd told her he couldn't forget Kikyo because of his guilt, but that he wanted _her_ by his side.

But then he'd promised her he wouldn't go after Kikyo again, and she had _known_ he would go anyway, but that hadn't meant she _wanted_ him to, that she hadn't hoped he wouldn't. He had lied. And then, of course, he had kissed Kikyo. Again, she could _understand_ that he wanted to say goodbye, though she couldn't quite get how he could tell her all those things at the very beginning of their relationship if there was that many feelings left between him and Kikyo. It was unfair — unfair to her.

This was when she understood the problem.

She didn't believe him.

She would have trusted him with her life, but she couldn't trust him with her heart. Not right now.

She believed he meant every word he said, and that was the most confusing thing. She was sure what he was saying was true, but she didn't _believe_ him. Again, her reason just couldn't beat her feelings.

"I need time."

She didn't _want_ to need time. She wanted things to be perfect between them _now_. But they weren't, and she was done ignoring her feelings. She did feel guilty for picking now of all times, but then, this was something she would do for him. If she had the slightest doubt on her feelings, he deserved to know.

She had deserved to know, too, but _this_ her feelings and her brain could agree on. Inuyasha hadn't meant to hurt her. That she did believe, she did _feel_ , deeply.

"'m sorry."

And he was sorry. So terribly, terribly sorry. Sorry he'd fucked things up with her, but mostly sorry she'd been hurt. He felt guilty, but he wasn't sure he could have handled things differently. Anyway, what was done, was done.

So at least, he offered her his embrace, and she gladly accepted it, holding him against her as he rested his chin on top of her head.

It felt like a break-up, but at the same time, she had no doubt that this would be just so that they could find each other better later.

Because no matter how long it would take, they _would_ find each other again — no matter how unlikely it seemed.

The school girl and the half-demon.

Inuyasha and Kagome.

* * *

 _Reposting it here because there won't be any connection between the one-shots so it feels better here.  
_


	26. Friends

_Inukag week, day two: Friends_

* * *

"Inuyasha, you should let Kagome rest for a couple of days."

The half-demon rolled his eyes at Miroku's voice, but stopped himself right before jumping through the well anyway.

"Keh, and why should I do that? We have to get the Jewel. If she wants to rest, she'd better help get all the shards."

Also, he missed her when she wasn't there. Not that he'd say that out loud, and certainly not to Miroku, but still, that was a fact. He wasn't in such a hurry to get all the shards anymore, either, because… Well, because what if she didn't come back then? What if she decided that she wanted to stay in her world after that?

What if he wasn't enough to get her to stay?

There was always her world, sure, and if she said just _one_ word that let him think she'd want him there, you could bet he'd follow her, but he knew that he had even less of a place there than in the Feudal Era. At least here, there were demons and half-demons. He wasn't too sure where they'd gone in the future, but he knew for a fact that he hadn't smelled any.

Miroku sighed, in that annoying way, like Inuyasha was just too stupid to understand his point by himself. Inuyasha fucking hated that sigh.

"Because she's our _friend_ , Inuyasha. So we should give her the space she needs before forcing her to come back." He frowned, then. "I understand that you want Naraku dead, and that you want your revenge. But do you truly believe you're the only one who wants him dead here?"

Inuyasha tensed at the question. His emotions were very different from humans'. Not stronger, not weaker. Just different — he'd been human enough to be aware of that. However, looking at Miroku, who still seemed so calm despite the death threat hanging above his head, he felt a bit guilty.

If Miroku could give Kagome a break, he should probably do that too.

"But what if she doesn't come back?"

That was Shippo chiming in, with that tiny, sad voice he had more often than not when Kagome was gone.

When he wasn't trying to get on Inuyasha's nerves, at least.

"Runt has a point. I'll make sure she does." In one swift move, Inuyasha jumped on the well.

He could practically _hear_ Miroku rolling his eyes when he called his name again. "Inuyasha…"

"I'll let her rest! She just needs to come back!"

With that, he jumped through the well, hoping the desperation wasn't as clear in his voice as it was in his mind.

Kagome _had_ to come back.

* * *

Seriously though, what the fuck was Miroku's problem? That was none of his business. If he wanted to go get Kagome, he'd fucking go get Kagome.

Inuyasha easily jumped back out of the well, and vaguely, in the back of his mind, there was a thought that since it was that simple for him, he should make sure he came help Kagome when she went back home, or when she arrived in the past. He didn't dwell on that — on that thought, nor on what it meant — still fuming as he walked to Kagome's house.

Who did Miroku think he was? And calling Kagome a "friend", too.

Somehow, this was probably what annoyed him most, but he didn't know if it was Miroku's way of putting their relationship with Kagome on the same level, or just the word itself.

"Friend".

Keh.

Yeah, he didn't like that.

It wasn't that he didn't want friends. He would never say it out loud, but Miroku _was_ somewhat of a friend. Didn't know him all that much just yet, but the guy wasn't that bad. Which, y'know, for him, "not that bad" was pretty fucking good. Not trying to kill him, not thinking he was inferior… That was all pretty nice, actually.

But that wasn't what he had with Kagome. Well, he did have that, but there was _more_ with Kagome. "Friend" just didn't cut it, to describe the way her smell soothed him, the way her smile made everything feel brighter, the way her skin felt against his. It just wasn't _enough_ of a word to describe how he felt when she was in danger, or how he felt when she stepped in to defend him.

It was… They were more than that. Or at least, he wanted to think that they were more than that.

He looked up at her open window, hesitating there for a few moments. Miroku wasn't _wrong_ though. The girl needed some rest, and he knew he had to let her have it. How much he missed her shouldn't interfere with her well-being.

He was about to step back, go sleep on the roof and let her sleep, when she leaned trough the window. She didn't look too surprised to see him, and his heart seemed to _melt_ when she gave him a smile.

"Inuyasha! Come up, I have ramen."

Ah, well, he wasn't going to miss that opportunity, was he?

"I was starting to think you weren't going to show up," she commented as he climbed in through the window. "Here!"

Okay, he thought as he sat down with the food, mumbling something not to let her know how much that all meant to him, him and Kagome _were_ friends. But then she sat next to him, and her arm was brushing against his, and she was blushing, and his heart was racing, and once again, "friends" didn't seem to cover it all that well.

She was his best friend, sure, but… But there was something else there. There was no need to rush it though. So for now, he simply enjoyed this moment with her.

She was by his side, and it was all that really mattered.


	27. Haunted

_Inukag week, day three: Haunted_

* * *

 _Disdain. Disdain in her voice and in her eyes._

" _You made your choice and I will not thank you."_

 _Kagome just couldn't get the words to get out of her throat, despite everything she wanted to say. Why? Why did you think I wouldn't save you? Didn't I do it every time? Didn't I always do my best to help you? Didn't I always insisted for Inuyasha to go after you? Why do you think I'm such a terrible person?_

 _Am I such a terrible person?_

 _The words echoed in her head, but none of them managed to make it to the other woman who was standing on the bank, staring at her. Judging her._

 _But then the water under her turned into an abyss, and somehow she was floating above it. She couldn't move though, completely at the other woman's mercy._

" _You are me. It's better if there is only one of us here."_

 _She started falling._

 _Kagome screamed._

* * *

She sat up straight in her sleeping bag, breathing ragged, both hands slapped against her mouth in order to stop herself from making a sound.

It wasn't the first time she had had that dream. It had stopped confusing her a long time ago, too. There were just a few people that had left such a terrifying mark on her, and she hated it, but she could easily guess why.

Mukotsu, for example, was a pretty obvious one. So was the Infant, though him and Naraku didn't populate her dreams all that much.

And then, there was Kikyo. It had taken her a while to understand just where that came from. At first, there had been her attempt to kill her, of course, but she wasn't the only one — far from that actually. So why was Kikyo the one she remembered?

Well, it wasn't that hard, though it was undoubtedly a painful realization.

Because with Kikyo, she was never sure whether or not Inuyasha would do something about it.

Speaking of which, she was surprised he hadn't pounced on her yet, worrying about her, asking her what was going on. She glanced around, and her heart dropped when she didn't find him.

With _her_. He was with _her_.

She couldn't sleep at night because of _her_ , and he had no problem whatsoever sneaking out to go meet with her. And, sure, he didn't know, but it certainly wasn't the only thing she'd done. She'd given their nemesis the Jewel, endangering Miroku's life, prolonging Sango's suffering, but no, God forbid someone said it out loud.

She was feeling sick.

The feeling that erupted in her stomach and in her chest, making her lean forward, both hands pressed against her heart to try do something about that horrible sensation, wasn't jealousy.

It was pain. The purest, most horrible pain that she had ever felt.

She wouldn't cry. She'd promised herself she wouldn't cry over this again. She was a big girl; she could understand that Inuyasha wasn't over Kikyo, she could understand that it was possible to love more than one person at a time, she could…

She couldn't understand why she let herself be hurt like that. Sure, she didn't think about it all the time, and sure, there were moments that were just _good_ but the situation was always floating in the back of her mind, slowly corrupting everything that was good about her relationship with Inuyasha.

At some point, the high just wasn't worth the pain anymore.

Still— he didn't know. She couldn't blame him for something she didn't know. But that secret was threatening to swallow her entirely.

She had to tell him.

* * *

When Inuyasha came back, as the first lights of dawn could be seen above the horizon, he found her, with her head low, arms around her knees. She was obviously waiting for him, but she didn't seem to notice him until he was right in front of her. Only then did she look up, a strange, sad look in her eyes. She always looked sad, when he went back after leaving Kikyo, but there was something different today.

For a moment, they just looked at each other, and it almost frightened him, the way he just didn't have any access to her thoughts right now. He could always tell, somewhat, how she felt, but she felt completely closed to him at the moment.

"Kagome?"

She smiled at him softly, but he could tell immediately that it was fake, and it was such a rare sight that it almost sent a shiver down his spine, immediately followed by an intense feeling of guilt. It was his fault. He saw her faltering every time he went to Kikyo, saw her trying to get her strength back afterwards, and he'd considered, time and time again, telling her to stay in her era. He couldn't stand watching her like this and knowing he was the cause for her suffering.

She couldn't tell either what he was thinking as he looked back, shoulders low, but she was used to it when things had to do with Kikyo. She could never tell whether it was only her wishful thinking or if she was seeing things as worse than they were. Did he even think about her before leaving? Did he spare a thought for her, or did she disappear so completely from his concerns, the second Kikyo entered his mind?

"H-how did it go?"

She didn't know what answer she wanted. "Nothing", maybe, but at the same time she could never believe it; or "A kiss; I love her", which would break her heart once and for all, but at least then she'd be _free_.

"Keh! How d'ya think it went?" Inuyasha let himself fall to the ground next to her, looking down decidedly. "Nothin' happened. We just talked about Naraku, that's all." There was moment before he added, "Nothing ever happens." He sounded sure of himself, but also slightly pleading, like he needed her to believe it, and Kagome felt a smile make its way on her face.

Right now, under the soft and warm light of the sun, the night's anguish seemed stupid and far away. He was there by her side now, wasn't he? There was no need to make things more complicated — especially for him. He didn't deserve any of that, and she had carried that weight on her shoulders just fine until now, hadn't she?

"I'm sorry, y'know."

She blinked. That… wasn't like him. But when she glanced at him, he was looking at the ground, probably doing her best to avoid his eyes so he could carry on with what he had to say.

"I don't want to hurt ya. I _never_ want to hurt ya. That's… It's not like that, with Kikyo. She's not… She's not _you_."

It did leave her surprised, for a second. She'd always seen things the other way around — hadn't even _dared_ thinking he could view them differently. It did lift a great weight off her shoulders, but jealousy had never been the only problem. She smiled at him again.

"Thanks, Inuyasha. It means a lot."

She wasn't going to say it. She'd sound like a jealous girlfriend who tried to keep him away from his ex, and that was the last thing she wanted — and it would kill her if he didn't believe her.

"What's on your mind then?"

She practically jumped at the question. "Noth—"

"I can _tell_ , Kagome. I'd understand, y'know, if you wanted to stay in your world."

He sounded miserable, and she felt her shoulders dropping a little more.

"It's not about you," she managed to mumble, knowing there would be no going back after she opened her mouth. "W-well, I mean, you don't know about it."

Okay, he didn't like that. He didn't like that _at all_. "The fuck d'ya mean?" he growled.

She took a deep breath. The truth was, she _did_ want him away from Kikyo. She did feel jealous; it was definitely part of the problem. But she would have endured the jealousy, if it was the only thing there.

"Do you remember the night she stole the Jewel from me?"

She heard him draw a sharp breath. "You know she has a pl—"

"She tried to kill me that night."

There was only silence for a few moments, and it felt like her entire body and soul were collapsing when he didn't respond.

"I didn't tell you because I didn't think you'd believe me."

She didn't _want_ the venom in her voice to be there. She shouldn't even have said that — but his silence was terrifying her, and it now sounded like she was _daring_ him. Which probably wasn't any better, she realized. It probably seemed like she was trying to convince him and oh, God, what if he thought she was trying to manipulate him?

But Inuyasha remained silent, and she bit her lip harshly, trying not to cry. She understood just then that she wouldn't be able to take it. If he didn't believe her, if nothing changed, she… She didn't know what she would do.

"Kikyo would never have done that," he mumbled, and her heart broke, a sob finally escaping her lips.

Immediately though, his arms were around her, his chest pressed against her back as he engulfed her in a hug.

"I'm sorry you never got to meet her when she was alive." He went silent again, his grip tightening around her, and Kagome managed to take a slow, trembling breath. She did feel guilty, somewhere, for him, but that was the thing. She wasn't doing this for him.

She was doing this for herself.

But she still held onto his arms like his life depended on it.

* * *

The soul collectors came back a few days later, and for once, she was awake, with the rest of the group, which came off as a surprise to her. Inuyasha was standing apart from the group, and she heard Shippo mumble about how he should go already, but after awhile, what was happening became obvious.

Inuyasha wasn't moving.

She walked to him slowly, hesitantly, unsure of what she was supposed to say.

"You can go, you know."

God, no. She didn't want him to go. She couldn't imagine what it'd do to her if he went. Still, she said it, and she instantly hated herself for being the one who caused herself the most pain.

He shot her a dark glare.

"You think I _want_ to go after what you told me?"

She winced at the anger in his voice.

"I— I don't want you to stop yourself for me."

He rolled his eyes. "She tried to _kill you_ , Kagome. And I'm…" He glanced away from her for a second. "I'm going to protect her, just like I said, because of the woman she _was_. But I ain't meeting with her."

"Y-you should—"

"I ain't going."

She ended up nodding silently. She didn't feel good about it, and she certainly didn't feel victorious, but she couldn't express the relief that bloomed in her chest.

It would have destroyed her if he had gone to meet the woman who had tried to kill her while knowing it.

She could see his tight jaw, his clenched fists, and she knew how hard it was for him, and she was sorry about it. So slowly, silently, she moved her arms around his waist and rested her head agains his back. He sighed and closed his eyes, entangling his fingers with her.

A door was closing; he could feel it almost physically. But another one was opening, and it was time for him to let go of the ghosts of the past.

* * *

 _An alternative take on my one-shot "Truth", based on some criticism I'd received on it at the time. I have at least a third version of how this happened, which would be the most satisfying for me, but for now, this angsty one feels good enough :) Hope you enjoyed!_


	28. Affection

_Inukag week, day five: Affection_

* * *

If you asked Shippo, ramen wasn't even _that_ good.

Okay, sure, it wasn't _bad_ , but it wasn't candies, and somehow, Kagome always brought so much ramen that she didn't have enough place, even in that gigantic yellow backpack of hers, to fit more candy, which was really, really unfair.

He didn't even know why she bothered, too. It was practically the first thing Inuyasha asked her about when she arrived. Like he hadn't missed her. Like he hadn't been stupidly staring at the well since she had left. Like he wasn't always _around_ the well, just in case she arrived unexpectedly or something.

Dumb dog.

Well, anyway, Shippo was _certain_ that he'd be a lot more appreciative of candies than Inuyasha ever was about ramen.

The worst offense, though, was that Shippo didn't even get to _eat_ the ramen. He did manage to steal a few cups every now and then, but in general, Inuyasha was the one who ate them, which was also _so_ unfair.

But he wasn't going to just let that happen.

"Kagome," he whined, "Inuyasha wants to finish the ramen!"

He had picked his day carefully. He'd made sure that Inuyasha and Kagome had fought a couple of times, so she wouldn't be so prompt to defend him, and more importantly, this was the _last_ cup of ramen. Meaning that, when he would undoubtedly win this argument and get to eat that cup, Inuyasha would be _fuming_.

And that was all that really mattered, wasn't it?

"So what, Shippo?" Kagome asked, looking up, seeming genuinely surprise. "You don't even really like ramen."

Shoot. He hadn't expected her to be aware of that — but it wasn't going to stop him just yet.

"But I want to eat it now!"

"Forget about it, runt," Inuyasha growled, getting a firm hold of his cup. "You ain't touching that."

Kagome looked at the two of them with a frown, seeming to assess the situation before making her decision.

"Inuyasha is right, Shippo," she finally said. "You know he likes ramen, and you don't really. It wouldn't be very fair to him, don't you think?"

"Ha! Take that!" Inuyasha grinned triumphantly while Kagome and Sango exchanged a brief, annoyed glance.

Shippo didn't say anything for a few seconds. He'd thought this would be fun because he was sure to win, but Kagome's decision seemed final. But did she— Did she—

"Do you love Inuyasha more than me?" he asked her with tears in his eyes, bottom lip trembling.

Immediately, Kagome's motherly instinct kicked in, and she was soon lifting the kid in her arms, hugging him gently against her. "Oh, Shippo! Of course not!"

She almost missed the quiet, dejected question coming from the half-demon.

"You don't?"

It took her a moment to realize that he had indeed asked it, and a brief look at him and at the hurt in his eyes told her that she would actually have to reassure them both.

Fortunately, mama Higurashi had been asked that sort of questions before, and Kagome knew the type of answer that was needed.

"I love you differently," she explained, smiling at Shippo. "I love you like a brother and Inuyasha, erm…" There was an awkward silence during which everyone stared at her, seeming very interested in what she had to say, before she glanced away, blushing. "Inuyasha, not like a brother. It's just two different sorts of love— It's not about quantity."

Shippo seemed to accept that answer, and after a short sniff and a slightly longer cuddle, jumped from her arms to go play with Kirara, leaving her to face Inuyasha, who was staring at her, frowning. She wanted to say something— But what was there to say? It wasn't like it was new information to him. Him, on the other hand… Well, let's just say there were things she would have loved to hear him say.

He didn't say anything either for a couple of minutes, before he motioned at the ramen cup.

"Want some?"

She couldn't help the light chuckle that escaped her lips. Inuyasha, offering to share his ramen?

If that wasn't love, she didn't know what was.


	29. Jealousy

_Inukag week, day five: Jealousy_

* * *

It was all her grandfather's fault.

Kagome didn't understand everything Hojo had told her, because she had long given up on following her grandfather's excuses, which, by the way, were getting increasingly crazier. She didn't know why he insisted on finding new ones each time. Couldn't he have found one really good one and stuck with it?

Still, apparently, it had something to do with her legs. Maybe she should have guessed at the long look Hojo had given her when she had walked into school. Her own friends hadn't even bothered asking her about her illness — or injury, apparently, grandpa's fertile imagination had probably failed him this time — but Hojo was always so… _considerate_.

He stopped right next to her on his bike as she was starting to walk home.

"Higurashi!" he called, managing to sound both happy to see her and mildly horrified at… Well, yeah, at what? "It's horrible what happened to your cruciate ligament!"

…Huh. Wasn't expecting that one.

"You really shouldn't be walking home," he said, sounding more concerned than angry, and she had to admit it was kind of cute, as opposed to _someone else_ 's behavior. "Let me take you!"

"Oh, that's really nice, but it won't be nec—"

"Of course, she would love to go!"

Kagome rolled her eyes. She couldn't tell who had spoken, of Yuka, Eri and Ayumi. Maybe the three of them. One of those days, she would really need to have a conversation with them about making decisions for her.

That was, if she ever stayed long enough in this era again to actually have a conversation with them, which she actually felt less and less inclined to do each time they behaved like that.

Anyway, next thing she knew, she was sitting on the carrier of Hojo's bike, and he was joyfully riding towards her house, which thankfully wasn't very far. It _was_ very nice of him to get her home, probably, and Hojo _was_ very nice guy in general, but… But she really could have walked. She would have to say a word to her grandfather about not inventing stuff that supposedly rendered her incapacitated.

With that and last month's "sudden myopia", it was starting to become ridiculous — she didn't even wear glasses!

Hojo hummed lightly for the entire ride, and Kagome couldn't help but smile. Hojo was a nice guy, and a really good friend. He tended to overdo things, sure, but it was because he truly cared, and she liked that.

Still, she didn't _feel_ much when she was with him. She didn't feel angry, sure, but she also certainly didn't feel… Any of those _other things_ that she felt when she was with Inuyasha.

She jumped of the bike the second they arrived in front of the steps of her house.

"Thank you, Hojo!" she smiled. "I guess I'll be…"

"You can't be serious, Higurashi!" he protested, quickly setting his bike aside. "There is no way I'll let you climb this! Don't worry, I'll take you, just get on!"

He immediately turned around, kneeling, offering her his back, and Kagome winced. That didn't feel right.

"No, I'll—"

"I—I know this is a bit, erm, daring, but I promise to be a gentleman."

Yeah, that really wasn't the problem— Though what _was_ the problem then? She did that stuff with Inuyasha all the time and it had never bothered her.

Oh. That was why. Because she did that with _Inuyasha_.

"No, thank you Hojo, but I'd much rather climb the steps myself."

"I can't let you do that! You'll hurt your leg! I know you're not that kind of girl, Higurashi, but I still have to insist!"

Something seemed to arise inside of her. "That kind of girl?" What was _that_ supposed to mean?

She would probably have _chewed him up_ right this second if Inuyasha hadn't landed beside her, fortunately while Hojo wasn't looking.

"You're late, wench." He eyed Hojo darkly as the student stood up again, quickly dusting his pants. "And who's _that_?"

"A friend of yours, Higurashi?" Hojo asked at the same time, frowning at the sight of Inuyasha. Those white hair, those red clothes… _Surely_ Kagome wasn't into that sort of men. And had he just insulted her? There was no way Hojo would let that go that easily.

"Yes, actually!" Kagome replied, grabbing Inuyasha's arm, feeling almost relieved by his arrival. "He's the one who gets me up there," she explained. "He was just a little late since you took me home."

"He took you home?" Inuyasha's voice was low, with a dangerous edge to it, and Kagome didn't blink as she elbowed him harshly. They _could not_ have a Koga scenario right now, especially not with Hojo.

Poor boy wouldn't stand a chance.

Hojo seemed to study them for a few moments. The boy with the red clothes, the white hair, the golden eyes, the purple cloth on the head, and ridiculously long nails; and the lovely Kagome Higurashi with her bright smile, holding on to his arm. A sight he had a hard time making some sense of, until it finally hit him.

"Oh, he's your cousin! Sure, I'll leave you with him. Just be careful up the stairs!"

"I ain't—"

"Bye Hojo!" Kagome interrupted Inuyasha, waving at the young man, and waiting for him to disappear on his bike in the sunset.

She had no idea how he always managed to do that.

She let out a relieved sigh once he was gone.

"And who _was_ that?" Inuyasha asked then, an unsettling tone in his voice.

"That," Kagome said, "was Hojo. My grandfather apparently said I had a problem with my knee so I wouldn't have to get to school…"

"Why did he say I was your cousin?"

She did noticed the slightly dejected way he said it, though she couldn't quite explain why to herself.

"I have _no idea_. The girls _do_ know you're my, erm…"

He would have been very interested in knowing _what_ he was to her, but apparently, she had a coughing fit right then, and she had lost her train of thought when she managed to breathe normally again.

Too bad.

"Need me to take you up there?" he asked, pointing at the temple.

Kagome shrugged and shook her head. "No, really, I'm perfectly fi— Ah!"

Without warning, he'd lifted her up in his arms, and he started jumping up the stairs at his inhuman speed.

"'m the only one who can do that," he mumbled, so low she almost missed it.

It made her smile.

Most importantly, he was the only one who she _wanted_ to do that.


	30. Blue

_Inukag week, day six: Blue_

* * *

Red had always been his favorite color.

He hadn't ever given it much thought. He didn't have much freedom, much time to think about it, after all. He just liked red.

Red wasn't a color you found in nature. It represented danger, it was unsettling, and people looked away from it when they encountered it.

Like they did with him.

Red was also the color of family — well, of the _good_ side of his family anyway. The only thing he had ever had from his father, still retaining the very fain, very far smell of the man he had never met, and the only thing he had left from his mother, after running away from the castle where she had died, completely alone. They hadn't let him be there for her funeral.

Red was the color of blood, too. A blood that was his worst flaw, sure, but blood that could be used to defend himself, and that gave him the strength he needed to survive. It was also all that was left of his enemies after he was done with them.

Red fluid on his claws.

At least he didn't have to see the stains they left behind on his clothes.

He had never cared for green all that much, but green wasn't bad either. Green was safe. Green was the forests and the trees he spent his nights in, more accepting than any other place he could find.

Then, green became another kind of safe, but there was too much green everywhere for him to really come to like it. It didn't mean he didn't enjoy it when he saw one particular type of green, but he could never say it was a favorite of his.

Blue was a color he never thought about.

It also wasn't a color you ran into all that much in nature, but it also could never completely leave your mind, with the sky always above you and water around — though of course, water wasn't _blue_.

He didn't realize how much he liked blue until he started missing it.

Yeah, he always had the sky, but the sky just… It just wasn't the right _shade_ , you know? Still, he'd take it. It was still blue. A pale copy of the blue he craved, but blue all the same.

Better than nothing.

He didn't notice it, when blue became his favorite color. He still really liked red, and you know, maybe he'd go back to preferring red when he'd stopped missing blue _so fucking much_.

But until then… Until then he could only lay down under the sky and pretend it was good enough. Pretend it didn't kill him, not to have _that_ blue in his life anymore.

Fuck.

He missed her.

* * *

 _Last day is going to be late, I have a ton of things going on in my life right now. Hope you've enjoyed the week though!_


	31. Time

_Inukag week, day seven: Time (more or less a follow-up to day one: Opposites)_

* * *

"You came back."

Kagome smiled, both at the amazement in Inuyasha's voice and at the words he was saying.

"Yes. Yes, I did."

She felt his chest relax against her back, and his head came nuzzling her neck while his arms tightened just a little around her waist. She bit her lower lip as a shiver ran through her at the simple touch. Everything — every sensation, every contact, every gesture of affection — felt heightened, overwhelming.

She had missed him.

She had missed so much.

She had yearned to feel his touch again, yearned to hear his voice, even if it was just so the two of them could fight and bicker. She had jumped through the well for the last time uncertain of what would be expecting her, of the life she would led on the other side, but knowing that she was making the right choice, the only right choice.

It was about him, mostly, but it was also about everything else. It was about her friends, and about the role she could have here, as a priestess, something that she felt deeply compelled to do.

But none of this would have been enough without him. She could be a priestess in her world. She could make new friends, share intense moments with them. That applied to love too— she could meet someone new, fall in love again, and it would be just as intense and possibly just as heartbreaking.

She just didn't want to.

That was what she had thought about the most during the past three years.

Her relationship with Inuyasha was complicated, and they had so much pain behind them. Pain that he had inflicted to her, though she knew deep down that he hadn't meant to cause her any of it, and pain that she had caused back, lashing out in hurt and anger. And she knew she couldn't come back while she was still hurting because of him, when she was still angry every time she thought about it.

It hadn't been an easy journey for her. Realizing that she had the _right_ to be angry about it had been the first step. There was nothing wrong with her feelings. She could think about it, she could understand where they were coming from and work on that, but there was nothing wrong with them.

This had been the most valuable thing she'd learned, in her opinion, but also what had needed the most work.

From then on, things had been easier. She had been able to unwrap, slowly, the tangled memories of the good and the bad that had happened between them. It wasn't perfect. She knew the scars she was still wearing, the ones she feared would never disappear completely. The insecurities, the fear of being abandoned, the feeling that she was _not enough_. It wasn't gone. It would take time and efforts. But she was doing _better_ , and though she doubted there were many people out there who could understand just how important it was, because there weren't many people who had realized how terrible she had felt for so long, it was good to know that she could now move forward.

She could come back to him. She could trust him again — with herself this time. And though she had missed him, and _God_ , she had, so much some times that she had thought it would kill her, she was grateful for having been given the time to figure it out.

"I couldn't get through," Inuyasha whispered in her neck.

She shook her head. "Me neither. But… But I think this was the right time."

He nodded vaguely, his hair tickling her skin, and she ran her fingers through them, marveling at their color and at their silky touch.

"I couldn't get through," he repeated, his voice cracking this time. "I wasn't sure you would _want_ me to."

She winced at the words, and she felt him go stiff at her reaction, but before he could let go of her and move away, she grabbed his hands in hers, keeping him close to her.

She had thought there was something like that. She had only been able to jump through the well when she had been sure that it was what she wanted. She knew now that Inuyasha _wanted_ to be able to join her, but there had to have been fear, there, too.

"I would have," she said softly, and something that felt like a sob ran through him. "But I'm glad I'm here now. With you."

She didn't turn around, didn't look when he started crying, knowing that he would hate for her to see him in that state. She tightened her grip on his arms though.

"I'm sorry it took so long."

"'s okay," he replied, his voice hoarse. "You're here now." A silence. "You… You're here for me, aren't ya?"

There was such worry in his voice, such a need to get reassurance from her, and it broke her heart.

"I'm here because I wanted to be with you."

It felt good to be here, in his arms. To have him hold her. To be able to tell him all the things she had wanted to tell him, and to hear him say in return everything he had wanted her to hear. Wether it was today, or the next day, or in ten years… They could do it.

They both had scars, but they could help each other get through them. They were together now, after all, and it was all that mattered.

They had all the time in the world.

* * *

 _And this closes the week ^-^ Now I will go and try to finally finish the next chapter for The Maid and The Bodyguard (letting you know in case anyone here reads it). I hope you all have enjoyed Inukag week and my writing for it! Thank you for your support!_


	32. Romantic — SessKagu

_SessKagu Week-end, day one: Romantic_

Word count: 731

* * *

Romanticism was not a demon concept.

Romance was not a demon concept either, and in fact, some would even argue that _love_ was not a demon concept. That didn't mean demons couldn't do romantic gestures, that they couldn't leave the most epic romances, and that most definitely didn't mean that demons couldn't fall in love.

Now, demons' feelings tended to be… Further from the surface than humans'. Maybe it was because of how long their lives were — a way to protect themselves from the pain. They took time to appear, they often took even longer to be recognized.

Once they were there though, there was no going back.

Sesshomaru knew close to nothing about love. Romantic love, that was. He thought he had been loved by his parents. In a very distant way by his mother, and probably with more sincerity by his father. That was, until he had disappointed him so much that he refused to look at him.

Of course, this had been a little less than a century ago, but through Rin, he had rediscovered this form of love that had been nothing more than a memory for him.

Still, romantic love did not seem to be something for him. Not something he thought he could experience, nor that he was particularly looking for. Like most demons, he had no problems with the idea of crossing life without that kind of partner.

And then, there had been the woman of the wind.

Kagura.

He didn't know anyone like her.

Well, he didn't know anyone like her that he hadn't killed in the first minutes of their interactions.

Somehow, though, she had survived that. Through no fault of his, by the way — she would very much have gone through the same fate had she not managed to survive it.

Annoying woman.

But there was more to her than that. There was the way she was defying the man she was chained to, even if it meant risking her life. The way she still talked to him, even after she had realized how strong he was.

The way she smirked.

Fascinating woman.

He found her under the moon one day, sitting in a field of flowers. As always, there was a soft wind surrounding her, and stepping in felt like entering her world.

She noticed him the second he walked in.

Their eyes met for a moment. Red and gold.

Then, they started dancing.

Demons had their own rules, their own laws that they weren't all that aware about. There was no way of dancing for them, and truth be told, the word was just trying to capture their actions in moments such as this one. It was murderous, it was beautiful, it was deathly perfect. If anyone had stepped inside of this world Kagura had created for them, they would have been killed instantly.

Had that happened, they probably wouldn't even have slowed down.

The dance didn't stop until they had found an equal in one another. That was, with his hand around her throat and his claws grazing her skin, and her feather against his heart.

For a moment, there was nothing but the sound of the wind in the petals around them. Nothing but red and gold as they stared in each other's eyes.

Then, Kagura smirked, and somehow, even after this strangely intense encounter, this was what took Sesshomaru's breath away.

Slowly, carefully, probably very aware of how capable he was of killing her or poisoning her, Kagura took his hand away from his throat, finger by finger. Her skin was cold and fresh, probably a symptom of her missing heart.

He wondered what it would be like, to touch her, once she had that back. He didn't say it out loud.

Soon, Kagura had stepped away. She was still smirking. She bowed deeply.

"I will see you later, Lord Sesshomaru."

The smirk turned into a smile. An honest smile — one of joy. He wasn't sure what about him could have possibly brought her joy. He hadn't really considered he was capable of eliciting that feeling in someone, save for Rin.

"Thank you for the dance."

And just like that, she was gone.

Sesshomaru stood alone under the moon for a long time, his hand pressed to the place her feather had left, only one question in his mind.

What had she done with his heart?


	33. Tragic — SessKagu

_SessKagu Week-end, day two: Tragic_

Word count: 785

* * *

Sesshomaru already knew Rin was there when she pulled on his sleeve. He'd smelled her coming from a while back, from when she had started to climb up the hill to come see him for his monthly visit.

It had to have been a year since she started living with Kaede. A year since Naraku had been defeated, and a year since Inuyasha's priestess had gone through the well never to come back. Rin was doing well in the village, from what he could tell, and it was probably for the best. He had already started to put more space between his visits. He wasn't sure if she had noticed. It would be like her to notice that sort of things, but then it would also be like her not to say anything about it.

When he turned towards her, she gave him her bright, beautiful smile, and somehow she managed to make something stir inside of his cold, cold heart. He nodded at her once, almost respectfully, as a way of greeting her.

"Rin. Has everything been going okay?"

He waited for her to give him a few informations about her life there. About the old priestess who treated her right — _she'd better_ — and who had apparently almost adopted her. About Inuyasha who was apparently almost functioning normally again. About Shippo, and about Miroku and Sango and the twins who had just been born and to be honest, Sesshomaru didn't really care about any of that, but he would never have interrupted her.

Rin never went on for too long anyway. Her mind jumped from an idea to another, and soon she was just elsewhere. As always, she interrupted herself in the middle of a sentence and didn't pick up from there. Her eyes drifted to the village, and that lovely smile of hers widened just a little.

This was how Sesshomaru knew he had made the right decision, in not letting her travel with him again. Because it was right for Rin to be here. She belonged here. Maybe not in this village, and maybe she would choose to leave it at some point, and this would be her decision and hers only. But she definitely belonged with humans.

This wouldn't be a completely honest assessment of why he had left her behind, though. He left her there because Rin couldn't fill the hole in his chest and his life, and there was no point in trying.

"Lord Sesshomaru?"

He looked up at her. She was examining him with an unusually serious look on her face.

"What is it, Rin?"

There was no animosity in his voice. There never was, when he was talking to her.

"I brought you flowers."

Yes, he knew that. He had smelled them with her from the beginning as well. He vaguely rose an eyebrow, but Rin wasn't waiting for a reaction. She grabbed his hand and put the flowers in them, then started running down the hill, arms extended on each side as she often did.

"Goodbye, Lord Sesshomaru! Come back next month!"

So she _had_ noticed that his visits were becoming more distant. Looked like he would have to be more discreet in that.

He looked down at the flowers.

There was no way Rin could know, of course — though maybe she had felt it, with that strange instinct of her. There was no way for her to know about the flowers in the field where The Woman had disappeared.

But looking at them right now made his chest hurt in ways he had never felt before.

He had lost Rin, once, of course, and that had hurt, but he had gotten Rin back.

There was no getting Her back.

Slowly, carefully, he started tearing the flowers into pieces, and petal after petal, he offered them to the Wind. The breeze became maybe a little stronger, brushed against his cheek like the hands or the lips of a lover would.

Sesshomaru had never shed a tear in his life, but then again, not too long ago he had also never been in love.

He guessed the pain and the hurt and the loss were just what came with the feeling.

And as the wind collected that single tear like it was a precious treasure and he could tell she was there, forever out of his reach, he thought he regretted nothing.

If it meant he had the chance to know her, he would go through this exact same pain again, if needed.

Once there were no flowers left, the wind stopped, and Sesshomaru walked away.

Rin couldn't fill the hole in his chest and in his life, and right now, if felt like nothing ever would.


	34. Without You

Word count: 1,042

Summary: She's alone now.

* * *

I never thought I would have to do this alone, you know.

Not with the children — your children, _our_ children — certainly, but not for any of this either. I had given a lot of thought to coming back when I was gone, but not once did I even consider I would be alone. Sometimes you weren't by my side the way I would have wanted you to be, I will confess, calling me your friend, or the memory of another woman holding you back, but you were always there. Always.

I know you didn't want to go. I know you cried at the end. When you understood, when the blood was leaving your body, when I held you and I screamed and we both knew there was nothing we could do. I'm not sure the others noticed; I know you would hate it if they did. I felt you lingering behind too, felt you holding on to your body so you could _stay_ for just a few minutes more, almost heard you call my name, begging for something for the first time in your life I think. Felt your hands on my skin, in my hair. Felt your lips on mine. One last time.

Then you were gone.

I wonder where you went. Where you are now. Perhaps in another life already. Perhaps our souls are meeting yet again, and perhaps this time, they will find happiness together, but the truth is I can find no satisfaction in this idea.

I wanted to be with you.

If a different version of me gets to be with a different version of you, I'm happy for them, the way I'm happy for any couple. But _I_ wanted to be with _you_.

You know, for the first few hours, I thought Sesshomaru could, would save you. That he would bring you back. I spent so much time looking at the sky, waiting for him to arrive. When the day rose, I had lost all hope. He came way too late, almost exactly a month after—

He didn't say anything. Not that there was anything for him to say, but I would have hoped, would have expected _something_. It didn't have to be tears, it didn't have to be much, but I needed him to say something.

I don't think I'll ever forgive him. And maybe it's wrong of me, and maybe I should let go and leave it all in the past, but this is about _you_ , and he could have done something, and he did _nothing_ , and I don't care if he didn't know I don't care where he was when it happened I only care that you're _gone_.

Maybe it's the feeling of betrayal that makes it unbearable. I doubt you expected anything from him, but you did always say that I only saw the good in people. Maybe you were right, but without you in it the world doesn't feel anywhere near as bright.

It gets a little colder here every day too, without your warmth, without your arms to hold me at night.

It's not always easy, with the children. I know you didn't want them to grow up without a demonic parent the way you did. I know it must have hurt to leave them behind. They're young, but I know they understand much more than people expect them to. There are nights when I can't get them to stop crying, and I just know it's you that they want. It's you that they need, but whatever I do, I know I can't, won't bring you back.

It's not about their demonic parent, it's not about their father. It's about _you_. They will grow up without you. They won't know you sing if I insist long enough, they won't know you're a kind man underneath it all, they won't know your laugh and how beautiful and how rare it is. They won't get to know you, and that's what I regret most.

They will know you loved them though. They will know we loved each other, and they will know I loved you.

I miss you. There are nights when _I_ 'm the one who can't stop crying. It feels like it will never stop hurting — and you know, maybe it won't. Maybe time will dim the pain but it will never go away. I'm not sure I want it to. It hurts because of what we had, and I don't want it to disappear. It would be like saying you never existed. Saying there was nothing between us. I can't do that. I don't want you to be gone completely. I _can't_ let you be gone completely.

Part of me hopes one day, there will only be happiness, when it comes to you. I will remember the good times, the feelings. How beautiful we were, how you kissed me when I came back, how you looked at me when we got married. That only those perfect moments of happiness will remain. It would be fair in a way — how horrible is that now I can only feel pain when I think of you?

But for now I can't. Because you're gone and there's nothing that trumps that pain. For now, I can't say goodbye.

After your death, for the first time, I understood the true power of temptation the Jewel could have on people. It does not come from fear, it does not come from sadness, it does not come from greed.

It comes from love, because it's not just that I want the pain to stop. I want you back.

I'm sorry there was nothing I could do. I'm sorry you didn't get the life you wanted. I'm sorry we didn't get more time.

I hope what we had was enough. I hope it was worth it for you.

I hope you know it was for me. I hope you know there is nothing I would have done differently. I hope you know how often I dream of the moment before jumping down the well for the last time, fully aware that it will close behind me, fully aware of what's ahead, the good and the bad, and I hope you know that I always, always take the jump.

* * *

 _I'm not crying you're crying._


	35. Not Alright

Summary: An upset Inuyasha comes back to his wife's arms. Post-canon, inspired in part by Keichanz's one shot "Distraction" on Tumblr.

Word count: 1,009

* * *

Not Alright

Most of the time, Inuyasha didn't have to actually _think_ about his condition. Not anymore, at least. The days when he walked alone, when he had to avoid towns and when he could only ever sleep with one eye open were long gone. He had friends, both humans and demons, lived in a village where he was accepted and even seen as a protector, and he was married to one of the most wonderful people he knew.

Here, he could almost forget he was a half-demon. He was, of course, always aware of the differences between him and others. He was faster, stronger, he could smell things other couldn't, and he felt his ears moving on top of his head — not that his wife would ever let him forget about those. However, to him, being a half-demon had always been tied strongly with the looks. The disgust. The hatred.

Fucked up, probably, that his very nature was what he connected to the worst experiences in his life, but he couldn't help it, and it certainly wasn't his fault.

So, yeah, most of the time, everything was good and fine, and maybe, with Kagome by his side, he would one day have enough positive memories, enough rides with her on his back, enough times of her petting his head, enough human nights in her arms, to finally think he could be happy as a half-demon. It would become just a part of him, instead of a burden. In fact, he looked forward to it.

That was probably why, when it was reminded to him what people thought of him, it hurt him the way it did now.

He'd been used to that shit. He remembered that. Not too long ago, he wouldn't even have blinked at the insults, wouldn't have wondered what the looks were for. Wouldn't have had to go " _Oh yeah. Right._ "

Every time, his own surprise shocked him. What did he expect? The world had always been like this.

When he came back home that day after a brief but heated argument with a tradesman, Kagome, who was sorting the herbs she had collected during the day, immediately noticed his silence. Only a glance had been exchanged between them, his eyes meeting her briefly, but she could still _tell_ immediately. Something was wrong. Not that her man had ever been particularly talkative, but there were very many different types of silence, and this wasn't one of the good ones.

It didn't take long before his head was pressed against her stomach with his arms around her waist and he was inhaling her scent.

Her wonderful scent. What had let him know she was back, what allowed him to find her every time he needed to, the first thing he had even _known_ from her. Something he wouldn't have, or certainly not in the same way, _if he wasn't a half-demon_.

She didn't say anything, but her hands quickly went to his ears, and he let out a pleased growl that sounded almost like a purr, eliciting a laugh from her. Again, a moment that was _them_ , something only they shared, and something they wouldn't have _if he wasn't a half-demon_ , just like so many other things.

Why did they want to take that from him? Why did they want to make that part of him unenjoyable? Fucking hell, it wasn't— it wasn't _fair_. He had the right to be happy, just like anyone else.

He closed his eyes as Kagome started to rub the base of his ears. This was _perfect_. This was _happiness_ , to him. Being with her, and enjoying the little moments. And right now, he couldn't even _have that_.

"Ain't nothing wrong with being a half-demon," he mumbled.

"No, there isn't," Kagome replied, not needing to ask any question.

"It wasn't my fucking fault, and even if it was, there still ain't anything wrong with it."

"No, there isn't," she repeated.

"So _why_?" The words came out choked, angry, almost trembling. He wasn't one to cry, but right now he felt so _furious_ , so _powerless_.

Kagome's hands tightened around him, pressing him closer to her, and he relaxed a little. Everything was good here. With her, in their home. Most of the time, it was enough — but it shouldn't _have_ to be enough.

"I don't know," she said. "I'm sorry."

But it— It wasn't about _her_. She hadn't done anything wrong. She was trying to make a difference, she spent her time helping people; all sort of people.

At the same time, right now, he _hated_ humans and demons. Not her, not Shippo, not Sango and Miroku, but he was just so fucking angry—

"It's not okay," she whispered. "It's not alright that this is happening. You can be mad. You can hate the people who make your life miserable. I'll know the difference."

His eyes were burning, so he closed them. As much as he loved Kagome, and as much as she loved him, this wasn't a fight she could take part in. In many ways, this was still him against the world. Sure, there were others, but there were so few of them, and sometimes he felt so _alone_.

He tightened his embrace, shifting himself so his head rested in the crook of her neck. Thank God she was here. Thank God she was back. She could at least stand by his side, though in the the end this was _his_ fight, _his_ life. He was glad he could share part of it with her.

Things _were_ hard and he _was_ angry. The world was not going to become perfect all of a sudden. He knew all of that.

With her by his side, however, he felt they could make it a _better_ place, and none of the solutions included him changing who he was at the core. There would be days like this. Days when things would not be alright. But they would be. They would make sure of that.

One day at a time.


	36. Selfish

Summary: Prompt: "Both of them injured, waking up next to each other", for sweetchcolate on Tumblr

Word count: 1,014

* * *

When Inuyasha's eyes shot open, a sense of urgency was roaring in his blood, screaming at him to do something, his heart painfully throbbing in his chest, adrenaline cursing through his veins.

 _Kagome!_

The wooden ceiling above him confused him, but not enough to stop him for trying to get up. His movements were, however, immediately met with excruciating pain. Normally, that would have at the very least confused him. Pain was something he was used to, sure, but also something that didn't last.

Right now, though, nothing could have stopped him. He remembered Kagome jumping in front of him, bow and arrow in hand as the demon lounged towards him while he was incapacitated. He remembered screaming her name, yelling at her to _move out of the fucking way_. He remembered how she hadn't. How her hand hadn't been trembling while she took aim. And shot.

And then… And then here.

Where the hell was—

"You're awake," a soft voice said next to him. A voice he would recognize _anywhere_. He tried to push himself up, but the voice immediately turned to scolding. "Don't, Inuyasha. You're injured."

"Fuck if I care," he growled, the words coming out painfully, slurred and almost unrecognizable. After a few more moments of fighting against his treacherous limbs, he managed to push himself in a sitting position to shoot a glance at Kagome, partly annoyed that she hadn't moved herself.

That was until he realized, a cold cold hand squeezing his heart, that it was because she couldn't.

She shot him a poor, worried excuse for a smile that he barely saw, taking in the bandages that covered her legs and arms.

"Yeah, erm, that poison demon _exploded_ when I shot him, can you believe that? It turns out my purifying powers mostly protected me, and I even woke up a couple of hours before you, but it should still take some time before I—"

But Inuyasha could barely hear her as his mind turned to exactly what she'd been trying to avoid by her rambling.

He'd failed.

He'd let her get hurt.

He reached out for the bandage on her cheek and she closed her mouth, probably understanding with his distant look that he wasn't listening anyway. His claws had barely brushed against it before he jerked his hand away from her, and she almost winced at the gesture. What—

"Why are you here?" he asked, his voice almost panicked. "Wouldn't your time have better stuff? Why didn't the others send you back?"

"I told you, I didn't wake up that long ago," she replied, trying to keep her voice soothing. "My time doesn't know much about demons at all anyway, I think being here with priestesses is the best thing I can do."

She was probably right, he realized, his shoulders relaxing.

At least, for now.

Because it was the elephant in the room, wasn't it? Her time didn't know about demons, _because there weren't demons there_. So, yeah, _for now_ , it'd be better if she stayed here.

"I saved your life, you know?" she said, snapping him out of the dark places his mind was already running to, probably following him there and trying to bring him back. "Maybe _you're_ the one who needs protection."

He grinned, his heart swelling with pride at her words. _His_ Kagome. So strong, so brave. So reckless, when someone else's life was involved. When his life was involved.

He'd done that to her.

"I'm sorry I wasn't faster," she mumbled when he didn't say anything.

"The fuck—"

"You haven't been healing well, Inuyasha," she replied. "Miroku and Sango, they said— They said at first, they were really worried you weren't going to make it. They didn't want to use purification on you since you're, you know, a half-demon, and I— I should have intervened earlier."

"Like _hell_ you should have," he growled furiously. " _When_ , Kagome? When he used his sting on me? Or his fangs, maybe? You'd be in an even worst state than now."

Which only strengthened his resolve. She—

"Don't send me back." This time, she sounded almost angry. "Don't even think about sending me back, Inuyasha, I _swear_."

For a second, he only glared at her, the air almost electric between them. Kagome managed to prop herself on an elbow with a grimace, lifting her chin to defy him even more.

Then, in one second, he'd carefully grabbed her and pulled him on his lap, leaning against the wall himself, wincing in pain. He arranged his haori around the both of them, covering their injured bodies the best he could. The truth was, he couldn't send her back. Not anymore. It was too late, and he was too selfish for that. He could play with the idea, and it definitely came back to him whenever anything happened to her, but he couldn't do it.

He felt her tense, then relax against him, and her scent filled his senses. He closed his eyes. Like that, he could almost have forgotten they were both in such terrible shapes. Except that, of course, he would never have let them get that close if they weren't. She rested her head on his shoulder, and he groaned as he wrapped his arms around her despite the pain.

He knew he couldn't protect her from everything. He'd learned that lesson a long time ago. He also knew that yeah, of fucking course she would always try to help those around her. Plus, so far, she'd always been okay. Sure, sometimes she was more successful than others, but it was _Kagome_. He knew she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she didn't do it. He couldn't change her, nor did he truly want to. He rested his chin on top of her head, trying to settle comfortably even with his aching wounds.

He wouldn't send her back, and deep down, she probably knew that. So of course, the next threat was hollow, but he at least had to _try_ , and she would know that too.

"Then don't get hurt again."


	37. Bad Day

Summary: Kagome always tries her best. She does. But sometimes, trying her best just isn't enough.

Word count: 1,977

* * *

Kagome liked to try to use positive ways of describing the world. She saw the glass as half full, she thought people were generally good, and she said that a day was "not good" rather than bad. However, it wasn't a genuine way of seeing the world as much as it was her trying to push forward, to convince herself that things weren't as terrible as they seemed.

She'd been doing it for years now. Had she wished to, she could probably have easily traced it all the way back to the darkest moments of their fight against Naraku. Well, her darkest moments, anyway. And as much as she tried to ignore it, she knew that _every single one of them_ had to with Kikyo.

Most of the time, that was okay. People in the village hadn't brought her up, having clearly accepted her for who she really was and not simply as the reincarnation of the legendary priestess, and it was a subject that both Kaede and Inuyasha liked to avoid if they could. So Kagome could just go about her day and pretend that Kikyo had never existed, that the deep scars her encounters with her former self had left within her weren't real.

Fake it 'til you make it, basically.

Sometimes, though, things just weren't that easy. Today was one of those days. Not a bad day, she resolutely told herself while she walked back towards the small hut she lived in. Just not a good one either. It hadn't been much, really. Just an expression of surprise when she'd admitted to a man that she didn't know how to make _ofudas_ yet, and then suddenly she was plagued with intrusive thoughts for the rest of the day.

Kikyo would have known. Kikyo would have done _so much better_ in each and every domain, and everyone, including Kaede and — God — Inuyasha, would have been _so happy_ if she had survived, and neither of them would have minded the horrible, horrible things she'd done and she'd failed to save her and she should have saved her and it was all her fault and maybe she was the one who should have lost her life that—

Whenever she got there, she forced herself to take deep breaths. She couldn't let herself think like that. She wouldn't get anywhere, she would hurt herself, and this had all happened years ago. There was nothing she could do about it now, and in the end, things hadn't turned out all that terrible, had they? They'd made it. They'd destroyed Naraku and the Jewel, in a way Kagome wasn't sure Kikyo would have been able to.

Of course, rationalizing it wasn't enough. It didn't make the emotions go away.

And then, there were the things she _couldn't_ rationalize. That was, pretty much everything that had to do with Inuyasha.

She was pretty sure, or at the very least she _thought_ that the half-demon was happy she was back.

Okay, no, he _was_ happy she was back. Miroku had told her, Sango had told her, and their relationship was definitely evolving towards something more intimate. He'd spent the first night in her hut not too long ago, and according to Kaede, who was surprisingly good at reading him, he would probably ask her to marry him soon — once he'd worked up the courage, apparently. Kaede had advised dropping hints about that, but to be honest, she didn't know what could possibly be clearer than coming back to the Feudal Era mainly to be with him.

That wasn't the question though. The question was whether or not he could be _happier_.

She found him waiting for her, leaning casually against the hut, and she couldn't help but smile. He wasn't looking at her, but his ears were flicking in her direction, betraying him.

"Hey," he grumbled when she reached him, "how was your day?"

"Fine," she said automatically, realizing her lie one second too late. "How was yours?"

"What d'ya think could go wrong for me?" he grinned, somewhat cheekily. "'s not like anyone's going to start shit with me."

She laughed. He wasn't wrong. She knew that he braced himself for it, of course, the years of abuse he'd gone through had left deeply ingrained mechanisms, but she liked watching him grow more confident, more relaxed after all the peaceful years.

"Do you want to come in?" she offered. "I don't have anything ready yet, but…"

"Yeah, I actually, erm, got us a pheasant," he said, lifting his hand to show her his prize. "Thought you'd like some meat. 's been a while since the other men brought any."

"Sure!" she replied, missing a beat. "As long as you prepare it," she added with a small grimace. That was one of the things she hadn't gotten to just yet.

He shrugged, carefully walking in after her once she'd slid the door open. He was always very slow in coming in, she'd noticed. She wasn't too sure why — was he afraid he was overstepping her boundaries? Did he expect her to throw him out? She couldn't quite tell.

They both got to work silently at first, him outside, and her inside with some of the vegetables and herbs she'd picked outside during the day.

"So, how're you settling in?" he asked after a while. "People are really glad you're here."

Kagome bit back a laugh. People, huh?

"It's going okay," she replied, cursing herself inwardly when, this time, she realized her lack of enthusiasm. "I'm happy to be here."

That, at least, was true. She didn't regret her choice. It was just that Kikyo was here much more than she'd been in her era. She was harder to forget here.

"I really need to learn how to do _ofudas_ , though," she said, quickly, afraid she wouldn't dare saying it if she missed her shot. "Someone asked me for some today and I couldn't do anything about it."

"Hm," he mumbled. "Ya don't hav'ta worry about it. Can just tell them to go see Miroku, y'know?"

She knew he didn't mean anything by it. It was just his somewhat convoluted way to tell her not to be too hard on herself. But she simply couldn't stop the nagging thought that it also meant that she wasn't good enough to do it anyway.

"I'm going to be the resident priestess here," she replied dryly. "It's my role."

Inuyasha glanced over his shoulder at her. She wasn't looking at him, angrily cutting the vegetables. He'd noticed she'd been behaving strangely from the very beginning. There'd been the way her head was bowed as she walked towards the house, the way her smile had faltered dangerously after she'd said she was fine, the eagerness in her voice as she explained herself, and now the bitterness seeping through.

He wasn't sure why that was though. Did she not want him here? For once, he decided to swallow down his worries. It sounded like maybe she needed him to.

"And 'm sure you'll be doing it in your sleep soon," he replied, the reassuring words easier because he truly believed them. "Just _for now_ , send 'em to Miroku. I mean, Kaede doesn't really like doing them."

Kagome forced herself to smile. He… technically… wasn't wrong. Still, she couldn't help the emotions bubbling at the surface. She'd kept them buried so deep for so long, and had unknowingly just opened the gate.

Things would just have been easier if Kikyo had been here.

Kikyo, and not her.

She was second best. Forever and always.

She bit her lower lip, hard, trying to prevent the tears from falling. He'd know immediately if she cried, and she didn't have any onions around to pretend they'd caused it.

"I should be able to do it. Maybe I— I didn't work hard enough."

Inuyasha frowned, and set down the pheasant.

"That ain't true," he protested, his protective self showing instinctively, even if he had to protect from herself. "You haven't fucking _stopped_ since you've arrived, Kagome. You still need to sleep and eat."

"Maybe I'm not good enough," she persisted, only this time her voice broke a little.

He'd started moving towards her already, but he effectively froze in place at that sound. Her tears always panicked him.

"Hey— No— Don't— Was it something I said?"

She shook her head, unable and unwilling to explain, tears already flowing freely after she'd held them back for so long.

"Is it about that _ofuda_ thing?" he asked, and the disbelief in his voice hurt more than anything before. She already _knew_ she was being ridiculous for letting such a small thing get to her, she certainly didn't need a reminder! "You don't have to _cry_ about…"

"You can't stop me from feeling bad, Inuyasha!" she snapped through her tears, harder than she'd meant to. Suddenly, she was back years ago, when he tried to dismiss the way she'd felt all those times he'd gone to Kikyo, and then she was sobbing loudly. If he only wanted the good, the moments when everything was fine and she was smiling, and couldn't take her pain, then what did he mean about how he felt about her?

And _God_ , she couldn't take those thoughts now, on top of everything else. She wanted to disappear.

For a few moments, he just watched in horror, not daring to do anything after her outburst, as she slowly curled into a ball. Had he done that? Was it his fault? His first reaction would have been to run away, but he couldn't do that. He couldn't leave her while she was hurting.

He carefully took her in his arms, bringing her against his chest and holding her tight. She hiccuped, then grabbed his wrist, not letting him go. But she didn't stop crying.

He was bad with words, and he knew it. He'd much rather have slain any demon right now to help her — hell, slain Naraku one more time — than actually talked. This time though, she needed him to talk. Needed him to say something. And he had no idea where to begin.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he mumbled clumsily in her hair. "I'm sorry."

"N—not your fault," she managed to reply through sobs. "It's me. It's _me_." It seemed to make it even worse, and he could feel her falling apart in his arms, without being able to do anything about it.

"I— don't know what it is, Kagome," he said slowly, despair obvious in his voice, "but I'm _sure_ it ain't you. Maybe— maybe you'll tell me about it some time," and he wasn't sure he'd like what he'd hear, but he'd do _anything_ to prevent this from happening again, "and then we'll figure something out. Just— Just, right now, you have to know. It's not you. You're— You're the best person I know. I'm sure you're not the problem."

He couldn't go any further than that, didn't know how to frankly. He held her for a long time through the night, until her tears finally calmed down. He held her even when she apologized in a small voice like she was at fault, even when she tried to laugh at herself for being so ridiculous.

He held her for as long as he needed to, and finally, finally, Kagome was able to let herself go in his arms, to enjoy his warmth and his presence.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"'s okay."

After all, after everything she'd done for him, it only felt fair for him to be able to give back. He intended to do so in many ways. Slaying demons would have to be one of them, because he couldn't be doing _this_ all the time, but most importantly, they would get through everything life would throw as them.

Together. Forever and always.


	38. Change

Summary: Some things change, others never do. And Kagome can always count on Inuyasha. (Inuvember, day one: Kagome)

Word count: 902

* * *

It was getting late, and yet Kagome was still at the temple. She hadn't gotten much work done today, and it was frustrating to her, but attempting to sort herbs, with the declining light, was proving to be very hard. Still, she didn't want to go home until it was done. Her husband was likely already waiting for her there. Knowing him, he was also getting impatient. In fact, he'd probably come and get her soon, and complain the whole way back about how she worked too much.

He was right about that, if she was completely honest, but she had always been like that, hadn't she? She could have stopped everything early on while they were looking for the Jewel, she'd had so many opportunities to call it quits, and yet she never did. Day after day after day, she came back through the well, and got back to work. Even when the road got hard, even when it hurt like hell. In a way, she guessed she had never known when to give up.

"Kagome!"

Ah, there he was.

"In here!" she called back.

"Thought I wouldn't know that?" Inuyasha mumbled, walking in.

She smiled at him. So much had changed over the years. For a long time, he hadn't been comfortable getting close to the temple, after what had happened here with the Jewel, an eternity ago. But all the people who'd witnessed that were long gone now. Even Kaede had passed, at an age Kagome had never thought people actually reached during the Feudal Era. And after a while, Inuyasha had seemed to decide that there was no point anymore.

At first, he only went there for Kagome, as little as he could, and now he barely seemed to notice it. He even came there without being prompted, to put flowers on Kaede and Kikyo's graves every once in a while.

He knelt opposite her, chuckling at the piles of herbs before her.

"Like your human eyes can see anything," he teased. "Should have come home, there's no way you're doing good work now."

She watched him start to pick herbs, amused. He was as good, if not better than her at recognizing the right ones now. At night time, definitely better, since his nose was still the best indicator, as long as he was careful not to get intoxicated with some of them, which had definitely happened, several times at that, since she had taken over the role of priestess.

"But if I had come home, this wouldn't have been done by tomorrow," she grinned. "And now look! You're doing it for me!"

"Keh, but if I didn't come, you'd have stayed there all night trying to get it done anyway," he scoffed, but he was smiling. "You idiot," he added affectionately.

"Oh _I'_ m the idiot? I certainly didn't fall in the river in the middle of the winter trying to catch a fish demon."

"A fish— Are you _ever_ gonna let that go?"

"I was the one who took care of you for a week after that. I have the _right_ to hold on to that."

"Think I don't have anything on ya? If we're gonna go back years like that, I'm sure I can find somethin'."

"Like how I jumped through the well to come back here?"

"Nah." His voice turned softer. "Nah, not like that. That… was good." The best thing that ever happened to him, in fact, along with meeting her.

"So I get a pass, don't I?"

Okay, she _did_ get a pass, but that was mostly because he couldn't make any reproaches to his wife. Not when she was doing something adorably, stupidly selfless, like working overtime.

"You did almost burn the house down…"

"That was the _year_ I got here!"

He laughed, the sound a bit harsh, but still pleasant. Another thing that had changed, Kagome thought. She certainly didn't mind it. He brushed his hands over his knees.

"Okay, we're good."

"Thank you," she said sweetly, abandoning her annoyance immediately. Leaning in, she took his face in her hands and kissed him gently. He sighed in content against her lips, then pulled back, the slightest of blush on his cheeks. He had gotten better with physical affection, but she loved that she could still get this reaction out of him, even after all this time.

"C'mon now," he said, clearing his throat. "Let's go home."

He jumped up easily, then held out his hand, and she took. She grimaced as she got up, holding her back.

"God, you can thank your demon genes," she mumbled bitterly. "That's _not_ something I'm enjoying."

When they walked out, the last rays of twilight shone over her gray hair, which she tied up in a bun, much like Kaede used to. She glanced at her husband. He'd aged, too. He was in good shape physically, but he got sick easier than he used to — hence, by the way, the fish demon story, which was just _five_ years ago, and could in no way compare to that tiny accident that was almost… God, fifty years ago, probably.

"Want me to carry ya on my back like the good ol' days?" Inuyasha asked.

"Why not?"

She was feeling a bit nostalgic tonight.

He easily lifted her up, and then with one swift jump, they were gone. A lot had changed, sure. But some never would.


	39. Family

Summary: Miroku faces one of the most stressful moments in his life. It is also the one that will give him the greatest reward. (Inuvember, day two: Miroku)

Word count: 884

* * *

It was all good fun going around, travelling the country asking women if they wanted to "bear your child". Miroku couldn't say he expected, or even really _wanted_ any of them to say yes. Have fun? Sure. Indulge in the pleasures of flesh? Why not, in the limits of reason. But children? He didn't want children. He didn't want anyone to have to bear his burden after him, and if he didn't manage to catch Naraku, if he didn't get rid of the curse, if he was the last member of his family… then so be it.

Then he'd met Sango. Someone he wanted to give _everything_ to, no matter what. Someone who, quite frankly, deserved much better than him, but if she deigned to look his way, hey, he wasn't gonna complain.

"This is a terrible idea."

The way Inuyasha glanced at him would, in any other circumstances, have alarmed him. The half-demon was king, no, _emperor_ of bad decisions in his book — the whole Kikyo situation? A _mess_ , a horrible _mess_ that should have been resolved in five seconds, "I pick Kagome", over and done. But Miroku didn't even notice the look in Inuyasha's eyes.

"A bit late to say that, don't ya think?"

Really? _Inuyasha_ was telling him he should think? He should be _offended_.

"You're right. Time-travelling is what I need."

"What? Miroku…"

"Maybe the well will—"

"Hey!"

Inuyasha had tensed at the mention of the well. It was a sore spot since Kagome's disappearance, and Miroku knew it was off-limits. Tonight, though, he couldn't seem to function properly. Exceptionally, Inuyasha was willing to let it slide.

"Ya don't need the well or time-travel," the half-demon sighed, rolling his eyes. "You want that, remember? Sango. Your wife. Ya talked to me about the wedding for God knows how long." He frowned, and his ears flicked in discomfort. "Gave me way too many details 'bout the wedding night, too. But you're… happy 'bout that. Don't screw this all up now, 'kay?"

The monk took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair. He was right. As rare as that was, Inuyasha was right. It was almost suspicious, in fact, but Miroku still resisted checking for Shippo's tail. Inuyasha was trying his best, and he was thankful for it.

"Thank you, my friend," the monk nodded. "I am afraid I'm simply losing my mind a little here. They have been in there for hours, haven't they?"

They both turned to look at the hut.

"Trust me, they're alright. 'can smell it. But that's— a lot of work, ya know?"

"I do. Monks are sometimes asked to assist for those sort of things. I would be inside with them right now if Kaede had not thrown me out. She said something about me being unstable…"

"Can't imagine why," the half-demon mentioned under his breath.

"I heard that."

Silence fell over them again, and they both looked up at the moon. It was not full, but it was shining brightly nonetheless. Inuyasha's thoughts drifted towards another time, another world, in which a girl his age might be looking at a moon not so different right now. She wouldn't see it quite as clearly, because of all the lights in her era, but it would be something they had in common, and it was better than nothing, right?

Miroku couldn't have been further from that. His mind was turned towards other times he'd spent under the moon, with Sango by his side, and he found himself praying for more. He was a monk, but that had more to do with his spiritual abilities than with a vocation. Yet, he found himself praying fervently now. Such moments were hard and dangerous for women.

He didn't want Sango to be taken away from him. He prayed that everything would be alright, prayed that there would be many more nights under the moon. Prayed for her, in a way he had never prayed for himself, even when the Wind Tunnel was open and hungry in his hand.

Kaede opened the door at dawn, and Miroku froze, despite having waited here all night. It took a friendly push by Inuyasha for him to step in as the old priestess walked out.

"Think he'll be able to handle it?" she asked Inuyasha, eyeing the monk with skepticism.

"Think he'll surprise us," the half-demon answered truthfully.

Miroku fell to his knees at his wife's side, and Sango gave him a tired smile.

"Twins?" he asked in disbelief.

"Twins," she replied. "You really can't do anything like the others, can you?"

It was then that he knew that they would be just fine. If she still found it in her to make fun of him, then she was okay. It would have worried him a lot more if she _didn't_.

Carefully, with trembling hands, he reached out for his children. They were so small, so fragile. He held them against him gently, maybe a bit clumsily, and leaned in to kiss Sango's forehead.

He wanted to give her everything, and yet here she was, giving him something he never thought he would have. Something he couldn't possibly be more grateful for, and something he wouldn't have wanted with anyone but her.

A family.


	40. What You Can Do

Summary: Kagome has never told Inuyasha about what Mukotsu tried to do to her. One day though, after Inuyasha has beaten up two guys who were talking about her, it seems to just... slip out.

Warning: Mentioned sexual assault/attempted rape. Nothing happens during the one-shot, but it is discussed through most of it.

Word count: 2,180

* * *

Inuyasha had promised himself a long time ago, as his mother was buried, minutes before he was hunted out of the castle where he used to live with her, that he would never let himself feel powerless again. It wouldn't matter how much pain he had to endure, it wouldn't matter what he would have to break to get there. He would never feel like that again.

Of course, there was no way for him to keep that promise. He had felt powerless time and time again. Every new moon. When he had watched Kikyo die. When Kagome had been taken away from him and he had thought he might not ever see her again. But since her return, well, things had been pretty calm, and he had thought — he had hoped — that perhaps he was finally done with it.

He knew it was naive. Him, of all people, knew better than to expect fucking _anything_ from life.

And watching Kagome's expressionless face right now was making him feel the most powerless he had in years.

It hadn't been _much_ , technically. He had overheard a couple of merchants talking _crudely_ , to say the least, about things that they'd like to do to Kagome, and about how anyway, considering _what_ she was _fucking_ she had no room to refuse them.

So naturally, he had done the only sensible thing, in that he had pulled out Tessaiga and, after scaring the shit out of them, had given them a reasonable beating — reasonable given what they were saying, that is. Then, of course, Kagome had come out of thin air and had interrupted him.

"Inuyasha," she'd scolded, her tone tired rather than angry, "you can't keep doing that."

"Had a good reason," he replied through gritted teeth. He didn't want to give too many details on what exactly had just happened. The things she was exposing herself to by simply being with him… That terrified him. Disgusted him, too, and he couldn't do anything about it. Except leaving her, which wasn't a better solution.

"And what was that good reason?" she asked, rolling her eyes as the merchants escaped.

He glared at the two figures. Somehow, watching people running away from him just brought his instincts out. He wanted them _dead_.

"Inuyasha?"

Yeah. That'd have to wait.

"Were saying some nasty shit about you," he said with an uncomfortable shrug.

Kagome rolled her eyes.

"I told you before, I don't care about that, and I don't want you to be fighting for me. I can do it myself if I need to."

He should have left it there. He usually did. He admitted he was wrong, said sorry, and went pouting in the forest until she met him at the bottom of the Goshinboku, generally with some food. His resolve never lasted long, and the cycle repeated fairly regularly. But today, the _things_ they'd been saying… Today, he had felt scared. And he probably should have kept that fear to himself, but some part of him thought that maybe it would be better if she was prepared. That way, she could make the choice to leave him.

"You don't know what they were saying, Kagome," he said instead. "'s probably better, too," he admitted immediately, ears drooping, expecting questions and refusing to let her know, already changing his mind. He was scared. He didn't want _her_ to be.

This time though, she looked exasperated. Usually, he kinda liked it when she did. The way she frowned, the way she pouted, the way it often ended with a kiss… But there was no room in this interaction for him to enjoy what was happening.

"Do you _really_ think I don't know what they're saying?"

Air left his lungs, like she had punched him in the stomach. His mouth opened and closed, and usually, Kagome would have noticed, would have slowed down, would have stopped herself, but this time she was looking away from him.

"It's not exactly _new_ either, Inuyasha. It happened when I went to school, when I was in town, when I was in the subway… I can't say I'm surprised it's happening here too."

He felt utterly disgusted at himself when relief flooded through his veins and he could breathe again. She wasn't talking about _him_.

"That can't be right," he mumbled. She had never talked about it before. He could have taken care of it.

A joyless laugh escaped her lips, and he gritted his teeth as his ears flattened against his head. He loved her laugh. It was his favorite sound in the world, the sound he tried to store in his mind every time he heard it, the sound he had missed for three long years. This wasn't it. This was unpleasant, full of bitterness, and the thought that she had that in her… was horrible.

"You _know_ it is, Inuyasha," and again, it was like she had hit him. "We've run into bandits, you know how they talked about me and Sango. And other people…" She shrugged. "They're not that different."

"Yeah, but…" But he'd always been here when that had happened. He'd always been by her side, he'd always protected her — or, well, he'd thought so. He didn't have the slightest idea about the things that had happened in her time, and that was a horrifying thought. What _other_ things didn't he know about? "…but you're okay, right?"

Her expression changed. It was barely noticeable, and yet he couldn't possibly miss it. Her lips formed a straight line. She certainly wasn't smiling, but she wasn't pouting either. She stopped frowning, and there was nothing on her face that showed any emotions. Even her eyes were empty. It was like a door closing between her and the world.

"It's fine. I just have to be prepared for it."

 _Prepared_. Always. Every single second of her life, bracing herself for what she learned the hard way can happen.

"That ain't an answer."

She closed her eyes.

"Leave it, Inuyasha."

He winced at that.

"I just wanna know if you're okay."

It was the softest, the quietest his voice had ever been, and Kagome… simply couldn't ignore it.

"You remember Mukotsu?"

How could he forget? He'd thought— He'd thought it was all over. Thought he'd lost her, lost his friends, lost _everything_. Never had Kikyo's proposition been more tempting than it was at that moment. Finishing what he'd started and leaving everything else behind.

"Bastard who poisoned you."

"That's right. Well he also… wanted to make…" She struggled to talk, struggled to find the right words to describe it. "…a good _memory_ before he killed me. Nothing— nothing happened, thankfully, but— It got close enough." His exact words, too. Maybe his way of downplaying his actions; she couldn't be sure. Comfortably silent on what he actually meant by it. Ignoring his hands lingering on her body, ignoring the things that would have happened if she hadn't defended herself and if Sango and Miroku hadn't arrived, ignoring the way he'd hit her when she had _dared_ to defend herself.

"A good—"

Inuyasha didn't know what was taking him so long. This shouldn't have been hard to process. In fact, he should have known where this was going the second she had said that name. But he was being especially slow. That shit happened, sure, but not to Kagome. There was no way he'd have let that happen. There was no way she wouldn't have told him about it.

"That's— Fuck—"

She remained silent, watching him with empty eyes, and he died inside a little more.

"Fuck, Kagome, I'm so fucking— I shouldn't have let that happen."

She briefly bit the inside of her cheek, the dim pain a welcome distraction, then shook her head.

"No offense, Inuyasha, but this isn't about you."

Nah, that wasn't what he'd tried to— Ah, _fuck_. He just wanted someone to blame for what had happened to her, someone he could take down. Since Sesshomaru had killed Mukotsu and the Seven Mercenaries had been dead for a long time now, there was nothing he could do there. Sure, he could blame himself for it now, but what good would it do?

"Why didn't ya tell me?"

She pursed her lips.

"Why would I tell you?"

"Because— Fuck, Kagome, if some bastard does something like this to you, I—"

"Mukotsu's dead. You just beat up those two men. What _else_ do you want?"

Some deeply buried part of her knew it didn't make sense. She knew Inuyasha cared for her, loved her, and _of course_ he'd want to know about it. But the idea of him wanting to kill people about it? This wasn't about her. It was about _him_. And maybe it was wrong of her, but for this in particular, she needed him to make it about her.

Inuyasha stared at her in silence. At the way her shoulders were shaking slightly, at her set expression. Hurt was slowly spreading through him at the thought that she _wouldn't_ tell him, but he fought it with everything he had. Not now. He wasn't backing out of this just yet, when Kagome was so obviously hurt.

"I wanna know," he repeated stubbornly. "I wanna do— anything I can do to help." He was pretty clueless as to what that was exactly, but fuck that. He refused to abandon her.

Her tense body relaxed.

"There's nothing to do," she replied in a whisper. "I just have to _know_. It can happen." Even more importantly for the demeaning, insulting words he'd heard, because those were so terribly common. She just had to be prepared every step of the way.

"But that ain't _right_ ," he protested, and it was childish, and it was unlike him, because he knew that there wasn't much in the world that was _right_ , but he couldn't let it go. "You shouldn't have to—"

"If I'm _not_ , it's going to— to impact me every single time," she said, hammering the last words through her teeth. "Just look at what happened when we met Miroku for the first time, when we met Koga. I'm stronger now, but there will always be a risk that this will _keep_ happening. I _have_ to be prepared."

He took a step towards her. She lifted her chin almost defiantly, daring him to tell him otherwise with tears in her eyes, ready to spill. And the truth was, he couldn't. He didn't want her to have to go through that, but he had lived the majority of his life behaving exactly like that. It fucking sucked that she had to go through it, and he knew now that it wasn't the best way to deal with things. Yet he didn't know how to tell her any of that.

"I get it," he conceded with some difficulty. "Just— ya know nothing 'bout this is okay, right?"

Again, she shrugged.

"It's not like anything _happened_. The things I went through, they're— they're okay. It could have been worse, and it wasn't. It's not _that_ bad."

She knew the stories of girls in the village, even of girls at her school. What had happened to her couldn't possibly compare. That was merely a bump in the road, and if it was 'not okay', why did it happen over and over again? Why didn't anyone do anything about it? What did it make the _worse_ things that happen? It was— It was _fine_.

"That's bullshit," Inuyasha answered bluntly. "You're the one who taught me that, right? If it makes ya feel bad, it matters. 's important. And if— if something happens to ya, I want to know 'bout it. I want to help. If ya don't want me to beat the guy up, I guess I can live with that. Just— I need ya to talk to me, Kagome, 'kay?"

He reached out to caress her cheek gently, and Kagome broke down at the contact. Tears were flowing freely as she grabbed his hand to press it against her skin. Her tears made him just as uncomfortable as ever, but Inuyasha didn't say anything. He wrapped his arms around her, bringing her close, and kissed the top of her head as he engulfed her completely in his embrace. He wanted her to feel safe. If not every time she stepped outside of their house, at least now. He wanted to give her whatever relief she could have.

"If ya want me to beat Koga and Miroku up, I _can_ , though," he said when he felt her tears calming down. "Y'know it'd make me happy."

She laughed through her sobs, protesting lightly, and it made him feel weirdly proud. He wasn't exactly good at making people laugh, nor at making people feel better, but for her, he'd try.

"Thanks," she mumbled in his chest.

"Anytime."

And he meant it. Anytime, any place, in whatever way she needed him. He would be there for her. Even if it made him feel the most powerless he ever had to hear her sob in his arms.

Anything for her.


End file.
